Advice about teacher

[tpott4]

My DD who is 12 came home on Thursday night saying that a girl at school said that she was going to kick her butt. She then told me that it had to due with the girl saying that DD and her friend wrote something about her on a newspaper in Geography class. My DD said that she didn't write anything and she didn't know what it said. The girl said that the geography teacher was turning it into the principal and telling him that he thinks it was them. My dd then tells me that the teacher doesn't like her. She says that he is rude to her and her friend in class. She also said that he said to a boy in the class that he should take their clothes and wash them because they can't afford to do their own clothes. She said that he has said things like this all year.
I went to the principal on Friday to talk about it. We had a meeting with the teacher and he seemed real upset that she would say anything like this. He said that she is a good student and he likes her alot. He said that he has no problems with her in his class and she's a delight to be around. At the end of the meeting the principal said don't change anything in your classroom and he thinks it all started when this girl said this to my dd.

She came home on Friday night and said that her friend went up to him at the end of class and said she was sorry. He said that he couldn't believe that they would make up stories to tell their parents. And that he wasn't prepared to have a parent meeting today. At the end he said that he thinks that they shouldn't sit together in class or talk. He also said that instead of talking to them that he should have just said apology excepted and let them leave because he didn't want them to tell their parents and get him in trouble again.

I told my dd to go to the principal this morning and tell him what he said. I don't know where to go from here. The school is small and there's no other Geography teacher. The only other option I have is to take her out of that school and take her to a school 30 min away. This would mean that I would have to find a way to get her there and home everyday with only 1 car and my husband takes that to work.

Am I just overreacting to what he says? Is she too sensitive? Please give some advice on what I should do. Thank you.

[A&A]

It really could go either way.........I'd sit in on the class one day (which you have the right to do, just let the principal know you're doing it) and get a general feel for his demeanor and class control.

Some states also offer online classes.........check with your state office of education for whether or not that is a possibility to get her geography credit that way.

[PajamaMama]

I also have a 12 year old daughter. She entered public school this fall, 7th grade/junior high, after being homeschooled. I have to say that while of course your first instinct is to believe and defend your daughter, you owe it to her and to the teacher to find out what's really going on. I have said to my husband that there is NO WAY I would want to teach junior high kids...they hold the professional lives (at the least) if their teachers in their immature, power-tripping little hands. Kids this age do not have a great grasp of actions and consequences and it may be that your daughter's classmates don't like this guy and are involving her in some kind of nasty little vendetta against him.

This is such a hard age! Not children anymore and not women or men yet, they have so much learning to do. As do we!

[tpott4]

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I think I will sit in on the class one day this week and see how he is. Today I let my dd take care of it and we'll see by this afternoon if anything happens. It's just a waiting game but I kind of want to be prepared if I have to step in.

[Marsupialmom]

I am actually confused....

What was the friends apology for?

Why is it not ok to be ready for a parents meeting?

What was actually said about teacher?

Also is there any possiblity what he said and how it was taken two different things?

Why does he want to seperate these girls?

Does he see more problems between these kids that you are not aware of? Be open to his point of view on this issue. Girls this age can be catty.

I don't understand what you ment about he told the boys clothes? Was he trying to get the boy to do personal hygene all the wrong way?

Please understand I am just confused by your post and I am not understanding the situation.

[nextcommercial]

With my own daughter, I know that I need to take both stories and shoot somewhere in the middle. Twelve year old girls are dramatic, but some teachers are vindictive.

I taught school for several years, and quite honestly, I have had kids I didn't like. I had families I didn't like. There was nothing at all wrong with the kid, and other teachers never had trouble with that kid, but for some reason I did.

I tried VERY VERY hard not to treat them differently, but I am sure I did. Even just a little. Not calling on them when I know they can answer my question, or calling on them when they don't have the answer. (I don't remember this specifically, but I can imagine I did this)

Teachers talk about their students to other teachers. So, if he really IS treating your daughter unfairly, other teachers already know about it. If it gets out of hand, you can enlist her other teachers, and ask for a meeting among all the teachers and speak up about how you feel. If the principal can't get to the bottom of it, the other teachers just might.

Sitting in on class might not do much. He will be on his best behavior, and so will your daughter. You wont get a true sense of what is going on. The other kids will want to know "Why was your mom here today?" It might cause more harm than good.

[tpott4]

[QUOTE=Marsupialmom;9900282]I am actually confused....

What was the friends apology for?

I don't know why she apologized I think she wanted to make sure that the teacher wasn't mad because her mom came to speak to the principal about him.

Why is it not ok to be ready for a parents meeting?

I'm not for sure why he felt that he had to be prepared to speak about the matter. If he did nothing wrong there's nothing to be prepared about.

What was actually said about teacher?

What was said was that he is saying rude comments to her in class or just being mean. For ex: He told this boy to take the girls clothes home because they couldn't afford to do their own laundry. He also has lots of spare time in class for kids to do homework from other classrooms. I don't feel she's learning anything in his class. Her grade is good but that's not all that matters. She says that he will go over answers to questions for the test and the rest of the time they look through newspapers or do homework.

Also is there any possiblity what he said and how it was taken two different things?

He said that what he said was this boy was wearing sweats and had worn sweats all week and the kids in the class were making fun of him,because they thought they were the same ones. He said that if the girls thought they weren't clean to take them home to wash them. He also told me that he has no problems with the girls and that he loves this class. But my daughter can't believe he says this because he says rude things.

Why does he want to seperate these girls?

This I didn't understand. I feel that if he seperates them that they are being punished for talking to their parents and principal.

Does he see more problems between these kids that you are not aware of?

The girls are best friends. They have every class together.

Be open to his point of view on this issue. Girls this age can be catty.

That's why I wanted to speak to him to get his side. I think what upsets me the most is that he still discussed it with them after the principal told him to just let it go. That he was not to treat them any differently then before and to not seperate them. We don't want the girls to lose confidence in coming to their parents or principal when they feel they are wronged.

I don't understand what you ment about he told the boys clothes? Was he trying to get the boy to do personal hygene all the wrong way?

The boy does have problems I believe at home because my daughter says he smells most of the time and does wear his clothes over and has problems with bodily functions in class. I have told my daughter that she must not make fun of him and he has a reason to be the way he is and she doesn't know anything about it. She is to leave him alone and not be rude.

Thank you for all your questions hopefully I answered ok. This was good for me to do to seperate all problems.

[tpott4]

Just a little update:

Since posting I have spoke to a couple friends and people around the area about the problems I am having. Before having the problem I knew nothing about this teacher.

One of my friends that had children in this school said that her friends child was once hit by this teacher. She said that during a practice that this teacher supposedly hit him in the jaw for not listening and broke his jaw and a couple teeth. The school council still lets him teach but he's not allowed to coach. Again this was hearsay and many years ago.

Another friend says that when she was in high-school in his class which was about 7 years ago that he told her to not stand up to do the pledge of allegiance because she was Canadian.

Another person just gave me a weird look when I was discussing it. But she didn't want to discuss him because we were in a public place.

I'm just worried that now that she has stood up and said something that he's not going to treat her right in class and make the rest of the year hard for her. I'm just going to deal with it one day at a time and hope that everything works out on its own. But I will not let things that other people say about him reflect how I feel about him.

[onelilguysmommy]

: this guy sounds weird to say the least...

id do a surprise show up and come to class thing!

[Arduinna]

It sounds like something is up. But I have no idea what it could be. The posts here that talk negatively about young girls are reflecting kids I have no experience with. If my dd came to me with that story I'd 100% believe her but she doesn't over exaggerate or lie and she sure isn't power trippy. : You are the one that knows your dd, so I'd go with whatever makes most sense to you.

[seren]

Originally Posted by tpott4

Just a little update:



Another friend says that when she was in high-school in his class which was about 7 years ago that he told her to not stand up to do the pledge of allegiance because she was Canadian.

This was me. He was horrible then, a very very rude man.

[tpott4]

Thank you all so much. It's so helpful to hear feedback. Today went well. She said she spoke to the principal and he said that he would get down to the problem. I will wait a couple days and call to find out if anything is being done if anything. I believe my daughter. She is also one that doesn't lie or power trippy. I'm not saying that she's perfect but I'm sure she's telling the truth.