Advise for friend- cracked nipple ready to give up...

[momlij]

i talked to a friend today who had a ds 3 weeks ago. this is her first. she wants to breastfeed but is getting majorly frustrated she admitted. she thought it would be so much more natural and easy. said baby gets full after 1 side so she's pumping the other side out and storing it. i told her that's fine to do. i did the same till baby got used to eating more. said he falls asleep which i reassured her was completely normal at this age. said she wakes him every 2-3 hours to eat, i disagreed. i reassured her that babe will NOT starve himself. he will eat when he's ready. if he's cranky when she wakes him up, then let him sleep. said her nipples hurt badly. i really have no advise for this one- i've never had that problem. i've heard women express milk and let it dry on there. she's not sure if he's latching on correctly or not. i said i'd stop by tomorrow just to give her support. how to tell if he's latched on correctly? i know they say whole areola should be in mouth but to be honest none of my kids could mouth the whole areola! i think mine are just big.... so how else can she tell? said she's frustrated at night cause she's just tired and he wakes up every few hours to eat. which again i reassured her is completely normal. i just know her bro and sil have a baby who they formula feed and i don't want her to hear from them how much "easier" formula is and give up. so i want to give her more advise. give me more positive advise for her......

[sugarlumpkin]

I would advise lanolin (Lansinoh) for the cracked nipples, and I would forgo the pumping (because it is a pain in the neck). The baby will nurse to increase supply when the baby needs it. I am sure there are others who can give even better advise, I am so tired right now, sorry.

[miche28]

Yikes, that doesn't sound like fun. She's very lucky to have such a good and supportive friend!

Cracked nipples are no fun at all - a couple things come to mind:

- If baby is full after one side, there is no need to pump the other. In fact, doing so is likely to lead to oversupply which may make it harder to latch well and increase her discomfort. If he's satisfied with one side, then that's all the milk she needs to make for him. She should offer the second side to him, but can save herself the trouble of pumping and give her nipples a rest. She can hand express for comfort if she needs to.

- The first thing is to figure out what caused the cracks in the first place - latch/positioning is a common culpit. Check out www.drjacknewman.com for some good visuals and video. The key is for baby to get nipple way back in tehir mouth they can compress the areola with their mouth without gumming the nipple.

- Having the latch and position fixed will let her start healing, but it won't happen overnight. To help healing, she should keep her breasts exposed to air as much as possible and let them air dry after each feeding. I'm not abig fan of lanolin personally - it strikes me as a bad idea on damaged tissue, but lots of people do find it helps. Some more tips are here:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...lehealing.html

- She should offer the breast often and at the very first sign of hunger: a ravenous or frustrated baby is not a good match for tender nipples.

- As for waking baby, it all depends. If baby is nursing well and gaining well, then he will tell her what he needs. At this point baby should be having a good nurse AT LEAST 8 times and more like 10-12 per day (every 2 hours during the day and then every three at night). One 4 to 5 hour stretch at night is acceptable, but no more than that. (The risk when they are so wee is that if things are off to a bad start, their normal cues may also be off). A good reference is here:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/bas...nger-cues.html

- Finally, if you can get in touch with LLL in your area, that can be great resource for questions as well as providing her with even more supportive moms to lean on for encouragement. A membership would be a lovely gift to her. www.llli.org

HTH! Good luck!

[greeba]

Hi just wanted to second what sugarlumpkin said about the pumping. I never did the switching breasts and still don't with my 10-month-old. I'm not sure you need to do that.

Putting breast milk on my cracked nipples helped in the beginning too. I hope she gets through it. It's definitely not natural or easy from my experience. I remember those first weeks.

Let us know how it works out.

sugarlumpkin, sorry to hear about the cancer. I hope you're doing okay.

Greta

[twilight girl]

Agree with everything being said so far.

And, tell your friend that it *is* hard and awkward the first 3-6 weeks. Suddenly, magically, something will click for her in the next three weeks and it will become that wonderful, bonding experience she imagined. (I'm sure that part of her frustration is coming from expectations that she had before the baby came).

Lansinoh for the cracked nipples and a LC to check the latch. Lansinoh after EVERY feeding without fail.

LC because there are general rules of what constitutes a good latch, but every breast is different. My DS has a good latch, but does not get the whole areola in his mouth because I have large areolae.

Also, a newborn baby can sleep itself to starvation. The mother needs to be aware of the diaper output and baby's hydration. At 3 weeks I think the baby should be eating every 2-3 hours, maybe with a 4-5 hour stretch at night, possibly. But eating every 2-3 hours throughout the day.

But, please tell your friend not to give up yet. Hang in there until 6 weeks and see if things aren't magically better once she crosses that threshold. Just tell her to take one day at a time. Every day she keeps going gets her closer to the point where it won't be painful or awkward, just warm and fuzzy!

[indignantgirl]

I agree with everything that's been said, and it may be good for her to hear that so many of us have BTDT. I just sobbed through every feeding it hurt so bad, like I was on fire. I had cracks in my nipples and would bleed after every feeding because DS would pull the scabs off (I'm assuming). DS was gaining well but his latch wasn't the best because his mouth was small and my breasts/nipples are huge, and my breasts felt awkward and unwieldy and I just knew I'd never make it. I hated breastfeeding to the point that I couldn't enjoy my baby or motherhood AT ALL. A couple of times (ONLY when DH was home), when DS would start crying to nurse YET AGAIN and I just couldn't take it, I'd go hide in the car for a little while just to gather my sanity. And then *poof* like magic a few weeks later, the pain went away and it all was wonderful and glorious and I've been breastfeeding ever since (3 kids over the last 7 years).

What got me through it was a friends' mom (who UC'd and breastfed and homeschooled and who has totally been my role model) told me that she *also* cried through feedings and had blisters and cracks and that she kept thinking that the pain wasn't worth it and that she might as well quit, and then she assured me that it *will* get better and it *is* worth it. I'm so glad I listened.

Good luck with your friend!

[Valian]

Ditto the Lanisoh for nipples. Make sure she knows baby can nurse with this on her nipples. She does NOT have to wipe it off again!

I never pumped on the 2nd side, Ds only ever nursed on one side at a time until close to 1yo and then I had no supply problem when he increased his nursing, my body just natrually began to produce more milk. . Only if she'll be WOH would I keep pumping.

I also used some of the herbal baby oralgel stuff to numb my nipples when they hurt too, too much.

[Violet2]

I also found Neosporin to be really soothing for sore nipples, particularly if they were cracked. You just have to be sure to wash it off before the babe eats

Remind her the first six weeks are the hardest period. Whether she BF or FF. It's just hard.

When I started, I had to take it day by day, moment by moment. I never told myself I had to BF for a year, I just focused on surviving the day or the week. "Three more days and if it's still horrible, I can quit" By the third day, things would've improved.

And the lifesaver for sore breasts is to feed on one side only at each session (assuming the baby is content). Switch to the other side for the next feeding. Pumping is nice, but if she's stressed out, she can certainly skip it without a problem.

While you're there, give her as much a break as you can. If you can, bring some food and do the dishes, hold the baby so she can take a shower or a quick nap.

Also, I think for some of us, bfing just hurts. I'm in week 8 and it's still painful. But some of that is my LO. It takes two to BF and if the other partner wants to yank on the nipple and gum it flat, you can only do so much, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah per the LCs of the world, take her off and relatch her, but I live in the real world. One where my LO has her own free will, can't read the BF books, and does what she wants to do.

V

[Bellejar]

There is a product called second skin that is made of sterile water. It is meant for burn victims, it can be worn at night directly on your nipples and it saved my nursing relationship. I swear it knits the skin right back together. My ped actually recommended it.

[momtoKailee]

I have been there also and it's hard. Both nipples have pretty bad lacerations that are still trying to heal. I cried at every feeding and dreaded my LO waking up because I would have to nurse. My nipples are still healing and BF is painful, but it's much better than it was and getting better every day. My baby is 3.5 weeks old and every day we are getting better at BF. I am now looking forward to her waking up to feed and am so glad I am still Bfing. Things that helped me incredibly:
1) Getting to see a LC to get help with latch and gaining confidence in my ability to BF - I wish I had done this earlier and possibly prevented more of the damage.
2) Having an incredibly supportive mom and husband here telling me I am doing great and that I can do this
3) Some people may disagree, but I pumped and bottle fed for a week under the guidance of a LC to allow my nipples time to heal and me time to find my even keel emotionally. This also allowed family to help feed while I could get a couple hours of sleep. The key to this was using a nipple provided by the LC and pacing the feedings so she didn't get used to fast flow
4) Having a nipple shield - again something I use as a last resort, but if she just isn't latching on, the nipple shield allows her to get on and eat while causing less pain and damage.

[akvtmama]

I know it sometimes gets a controversial reaction but if it weren't for the nipple shield, I don't know if I could have done it, my nipples were cracked and the pain was so intenses I would cry like the pp. I finally got a nipple shield from an LC and that saved me i used it for about three months then weaned my baby off of it. We happliy nursed for many months(years) after! I always say if the mom is going to give up nursing because she can't take the pain...please try the nipple shield first, a nipple shield is better than, not nursing at all