I am going to lose it- so discouraged

[maisiedotes]

I am going out of my mind. I have to get out of this house. I picked up a work shift for this coming friday to hopefully maintain what little sanity I have left.

I decided that because of our breastfeeding issues, I was going to let Mairaed nurse ALL DAY, as much as she wants. We laid in bed till 4:00 and she nursed most of that time. As soon as we got up she showed signs of hunger again. She didn't swallow much on the breast so I suspect she was not getting much milk but was actually sucking for comfort. She has been crying ever since.

DH keeps calling and he is making me frigging nuts. STOP CALLING. My father calls every day. My mother calls every day to question my mothering capabilities. We are supplementing with formula and her latest way to irritate me is to ask if we are warm enough in the house and if I checked the expiration date on the formula. All she does is criticize me! "I don't want to tell you what to do but.... " I feel like enough of a piece of crap that I can't properly nurse my daughter- I don't need her questioning my parenting skills. She is also full of advice on how to nurse even though she has not nursed in 22 years and had her own difficulties wtih it. She actually asked me if our lactation consultant has any experience.

When we lost Doran she blamed me for choosing a midwife. Then she accused me of "turning my back on God" (she is very religious and we are not at all). I know she is smugly thinking to herself that Mairaed is healthy and Doran passed away because we had a midwife last time and an OB this time. She had questioned if our midwife had any training last time around. Do you frigging believe that?

I am just feeling really bad and frustrated and sad. Maybe it is PPD- I don't know. Mairaed cries when I put her down- it is all I can do to eat lunch but there is no way in hell I am asking my mother for help. I don't even want to have contact with her (we usually email or talk on the phone daily) but if she doesn't hear from me she will drive the 3 hours up here to check on us. UGH.

Is anyone else losing their mind?

[melissakc]

I have been there, losing my mind. Hugs to you. I hope tomorrow will be better. If you think it's more than baby blues or a reaaaaally bad day, please talk to someone IRL. I wish I had last time. Anyhoo, hugs....

Oh, the all-day nursing marathon during week 3 drove me insane too. Turns out it was just a growth spurt and she slept a LOT the next day. Isn't M. at week 3?

[canadiannancy]

Not sure if it is ppd...but i know our babes are around thr same age and we are having some of the same issues...I am thinking for me I am going on the feelings are still hormaonal since baby is not quite 3 weeks yet. It is hard when people question your abilities. You are a great mama and you are doing the best for your baby. Put what your mom said in one ear and out the other. Callie and I have had nursing difficulties, so frustrating when she is on the boob for hours and then is hungry and needs supplementing. At least you should be stimulating your supply with all the nursing even if it is comfort suckling. Especially since Callie has been sick she too doesn't ant to be put don for any time, and since I am supplementing with pumped milk it makes it very difficult to pump! I have had to let her cry for the few seconds it takes to pee or reposition my pumps....I hope you guys feel better soon.

[GinaRae]

Take heart.. we're not having the same breastfeeding issues BUT he will still nurse for hours on and off and then still act hungry. Mostly it's his tummy being sore, but you get what I mean, right? Our babes are close in age and they're both nursing what seems like WAY too much.

[Curlita]

I have not completely lost my mind, but it does go on hiatus for long periods... it's challenging and isolating to spend the whole day, every day, with a newborn. And I don't care what anyone says, the hormonal factor continues beyond two weeks if you ask me.

Conrad has been nursing what seems like constantly all afternoon. It takes a lot out of you.

Hang in there. You are doing fine. Just try to tune out the static you get from others.

[chubbycheeks]

Hugs Mama. You're doing a great job, don't let anyone telling you anything else. Does your DD do well in any type of carrier? I know DS1 was the all day nurse-a-thon type and the only thing that saved my sanity was a carrier so I could have my hands free to get somethings done, and actually eat something! Hang in there.. . .

[pixiedust]

lots of hugs mama! I was going to ask what the PP did.. have you tried a sling or pouch? That was a lifesaver w/ my last little one who had to be held ALL of the time.

[Beckula]

nak

really, so this all day nursing session thing isn't normal for most babies because both of mine and as I recall my brothers did this too. I went through exactly the same thing that you are going through 9from your description) Masiedotes and i can tell you that 90% of this is just adjusting to being a new Mom. I don't think that this behaviour of our LO's is abnormal in fact it is very normal. I understand how hard it is to let go of the illusion of the ability to do anything when your babies are small, I've been there. Just let her nurse as much as she wants, it sounds like a growth spurt. Remeber that your breasts are never truly empty, they are the manufacturing site for milk. My DS is doing the same thing as your little girl, it what they do. Right around this time after my first DS was born I thought that i was supposed to be able to do things and go places and i almost wrecked my nursing relationship by trying to hold him off and time our feeds. I guess what i'm saying is that the key to successful nursing for me was to stop trying to pretend i was in control and just let the baby run our nursing sessions. Its such a short time in our (and their's) life to give up our control but it is so nescessary.

[Kontessa]

(((((Hugs))))) All the worry and stress over being mommy plus having grandmother issues sounds like so much. This certainly is not easy. Your not going to like this none at all but maybe you and baby need MANY days in bed just letting her eat, really it is the best thing for your supply. As others have said, you are never really empty and the more sucking, the better supply. The other thing I have come to now accept, don't expect sanity right now.

Libby is all up all night, my DS and DD1 are up all day. Some how I have to fit homeschooling in too. Forget the house! Oh, and I am all alone. Am I ok... heck no! I am going nuts. BUT it will not last forever. I might even have my love home next week. Still, it will be hard.

Libby is 3 weeks and seems like she is nursing all night long and every hour durring the day and lots more fussy. Add to that my feeling like my brests are less full and she only gained 4oz this last week. I have some worry. I am not eating enough and might not be drinking enough. I need to spend more time in bed, more time eating and drinking, and mostly, more time letting baby nurse as much as she wants.

I did a good amount of shopping today, planned some busy work for my DD1 this week and some holiday crafts and I think it will be ok. It will be hard, but it will have to be ok.

Has to be ok for you too!

[sorteep]

big hugs esp re moms opinion on Doran.. OMG !! how horrible..

what you are describing is same here, nurse A LOT, can't put down, always hungry, colic/ gas,, he has been some better last few days... from about two weeks to three 1/2 weeks of age was the worst for it here... it all changes so fast

it is tough, and intense and tiring but it will not slat forever,, I promise,, this is temporary.. and really a short time in the grand scheme of life (it just seems like forever when it is happening) I just keep repeating.. this too shall pass, over and over again while walking and patting him all night long.. big hugs.. deff talk to someone IRL re PPD... it is important..

[renaissanceed]

Big hugs. I echo that a lot of this is adjusting to being a mom - I had no idea how hard it could be and when I was in the throes of it with DD, I didn't understand that it was temporary and would change eventually.

I also think that with your first, learning to BF and wear them in a sling are huge challenges - harder than calculus really because you've got two human beings with their own ideas about things and you need to mesh them together and that it not easy.

It will get easier day by day, although some days may feel like setbacks. If you need to go to work and wear a different hat for a day to maintain your sanity, by all means, do that.