Why did you go into Birth Work?

[channelofpeace]

I have been thinking a lot lately about my role in birth work. I am afraid that i have come up with more questions than answers.

My first child was a c-section for breech. Long story short, i had a bad doula experience with my second child. My planned vbac turned into a second c-section because of low AFI. My doula blew me off when i called her about a follow-up. And blew me off a second time when i tried to contact her 8 months later.

I decided i wanted to be a doula and be everything for my clients that my doula was not. I thought that someday i would like to be a midwife.

The problem: I am totally not cut-out for in-hospital doula work. I just can't watch women be "protocoled" like that. When they step in the hospital, no matter how pretty it is, no matter how sincerely nice everyone is, they lose their individuality. They are just another birthing woman, subject to almost all the same rules that the other women are. It just makes me sad

But i really love the actual labor support. I can't quite express it, but it is deep and profound.

I just can't get past the rage at the system. Even the homebirthing system is often flawed.

I want to be a midwife. To do it now, however, would either be doing a disservice to my three small children or to my work.

Sorry this is a little disjointed. I am just not sure how i fit into all of this, even though i know i feel called to be involved.

So, why did you go into birth work? And what keeps you there?

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I took a Bradley class when pregnant with my first, and I was deeply disturbed that the information I received there and in my own research wasn't given to all pregnant women, so I became a teacher to help spread the word. I later found out that most women don't want to know, which was disappointing.

Becoming a doula seemed a natural next step, as my students often want me to attend their births. I'm not cut out for it either, though. Hospital birth is disturbing to me.

[time4another]

as a student...
This is one reason

The problem: I am totally not cut-out for in-hospital doula work. I just can't watch women be "protocoled" like that. When they step in the hospital, no matter how pretty it is, no matter how sincerely nice everyone is, they lose their individuality. They are just another birthing woman, subject to almost all the same rules that the other women are. It just makes me sad

This is another

I just can't get past the rage at the system. Even the homebirthing system is often flawed.

I want to be a midwife.

Regarding this...

To do it now, however, would either be doing a disservice to my three small children or to my work.

I think for me now is the perfect time because my children are young, sure it makes it more difficult but it is difficult being a doula with small children as well. I want my children to see me happy and fulfilling my dreams. I want them to see that mommys can still follow thier dreams and sure it is hard at times, but it is all worth it. I want them to see me a complete woman as a mother-and for me-I cannot do that as a FT mom. I love my family to death but I need something for me too, and this, this is me. To put some prospective on it, this sure beats my old job at the biotech company, working 7:30-4:30 and slugging my kids along with me, before and after work, paying a zillion dollars to the daycare, eating crappy takeout most nights, paying tolls every day of the week and having but TWO HOURS maximum with them when we got home before they went to sleep....ALL TO BEGIN AGAIN TOMORROW..............

Other reasons are:
I think women need more safe birthing options, and I am honored to be able to (someday!) provide that service for them in thier homes. I truly believe that low risk women should not give birth in hospitals. I want my daughters to grow up respecting thier body's ability to have babies.

I am taking this very slowly now because my dds are young. As they grow into young women, I too will be growing into a midwife. We are growing together and that is truly something special.

[channelofpeace]

Originally Posted by milkydoula

I want to be a midwife. To do it now, however, would either be doing a disservice to my three small children or to my work.

I should note, this applies specifically to me. I have three babes under the age of five right now and haven't ruled out having more. I just don't think it is a good idea for me. I have only assisted at a couple of births since my littlest one was born and it was exhausting, physically and emotionally. I don't think i could do it on a regular basis until my kiddos are older and more independent. Not a knock on Mamas who do it when their kids are little, i just know it wouldn't work for our family

I also have this knowledge that i need more life experience before it is my time.

[pamamidwife]

To deal with my own birth trauma. It was a long path, with emotional block after block for a length of time.

Since then, it's been challenging in many ways, but I feel like it's shown me so much about truth in life.