Terrible Twos??

[michelle524]

1

[WannabeaFarmer]

All I have to do is say I am here to sub for suggestions too. My DD is 2 and for the past week has went from being a very indeperndent 2yo to attached to me 24/7. Very much in the way you are describing your friends child.
So with an open mind and open heart:
::

[alicia622]

My first thought is that he's learned that if he has a fit she will give in so he does it. I'd suggest she let her husband know that she is not going to be giving in to every whim and to expect some noise. I am all for choices and letting DS have control over many things in his life but having to make something different after each bite of food is overboard.

Does she have a little table set for her little one to eat at? Sometimes DS likes to graze so I just leave his meal there for a while so he can eat at his pace. She might also involve him more in the preperation of his meals. Granted a two year old can't do a lot in the kitchen but he could help pour his cereal, milk, spread peanut butter, open bananas... As far as the playing goes, is she really involved in the activity or just watching. Maybe she needs switch her approach. Do they play outside enough? Can she find some kid activities? I live in a very small city and we have an open gym at the rec center, story time at the library and the parks -- all free! Things that cost money include the children's museum and toddler time at the local audobon society. And there's always swimming lessons.

I think the only way she is going to fix this is to address the problem of giving in to the fits. It will be so much worse to deal with when the new baby comes...

[princesspennie]

It sounds like she is streesed over not wanting to wake up her husband and is giving in to her LO at times in the hopes that it will quiet him down.
As for the meal thing..well my 2 yr old goes in spurts..he will eat well for a few days and then not and so on and so forth. He has a little table and I just put out snacks gor him to graze on during his picky days. I cut up cereal bars, cheese, fruits I know he likes, etc..and just give little bits at a time.

I ditto all the other suggestion as well.


For her husband I suggest these:
They eliminate your ability to hear most other sounds you would ordinarily encounter, including loud snoring, music from next door, people moving furniture in the apartment above and traffic outside your window.
http://earplugstore.stores.yahoo.net/sleepeze1pair.html :

[ann_of_loxley]

Terrific twos!!!...Lets be positive! hehe...

First I would have her read this:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr.../tantrums.html

Most useful article I have ever read and it has really helped!...They are known as the 'terrible twos' because this age is a very hard age regarding personal self/emotion and the world around them. They can do more physically now and want to do more by themselves (independence and all) but still can not do everything by themselves...and then when feelings are thrown into there, it can all be a bit much for them!...Tantrums are triggered by this overwhelming sensation....This new quest for indepedence also gives the opposite...Its a scary world...and independence is scary too!...So whilst they seem really independent in one aspect, they seem really...(I hate the word) but well...clingy in other aspects as well. 'This too shall pass' is my motto and my son has my attention when he wants it...without that bond and trust I dont think he would have or be gaining a more healthy independence (even though it can be bloody hard sometimes!)...I have even been known to wear my26 month old son in his sling around the house so I can get other things done too! hehe

I agree with what someone has said above that he has learned to scream and have a fit to get what he wants. This is going to be hard to break and take some time (and probably be very loud in the process!)...Which is why I recommend she read that link above. I do not agree with 'ignoring' tantrums (or these screaming fits he is having!) as many 'mainstream' parents do. But I also dont agree with giving in to the child so they keep it down! But she can sympathise with him and help him to understand his feelings and problem solve together! (she may have to read that article a few times - and maybe once everyday to reassure herself and 'get' it more)...

As for snacks....Lets be realistic. A toddler has a small tummy and alot of energy! I have no idea where in history this idea of sitting down to eat three whole meals a day came from...but its not natural for humans. Humans are grazers. And it is actually more healthy and benefitial to us to eat many small meals throughout the day! So it is understandable that a toddler really only wants to 'snack' all day. My son is the same...I just make sure that he has healthy nutrious snacks throughout the day! Oat crackers, cheese, raisins, grapes, carrot sticks, celery, other fresh fruit and veg, etc etc...

Also - does she get out? We go to three baby/toddler & mother groups a week. They are really great!!! My son gets to be around other children of various ages and run around like mad whilst I can join in when he likes or sit down and have a cup of tea or something!!! I suggest she try and find some local groups near her!

And...I understand that people have to work. And sometimes we have to work odd hours. So her dp wanting and really needing to sleep when he does is understandable....but giving into her son so he doesnt wake him is not reasonable...1). She can get out and be out more and 2). He can get himself some earplugs lol

[LittleYellow]

Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley

2). He can get himself some earplugs lol

Or some white noise, like a fan or white noise machine. I can't take the feeling of something on or in my ears, but I certainly want to sleep when dh gets up with dd's on Saturday. They get up, he turns on the fan and I can sleep peacefully through anything.