or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › I think I'm in trouble now... UPDATE 18, 61 **82**
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I think I'm in trouble now... UPDATE 18, 61 **82**

post #1 of 130
Thread Starter 
I have court on Monday. It turns out that my attorney can not be there (Her daughter died unexpectedly). My ex's nasty attorney denied a continuance, so now I may have to go it alone. I have spoken with many attorneys but I have not found anyone who can see me this late in the game. We are filing with the court to try to get an emergency delay, but the court may not even see our file until it's too late.

I am SO panicked. He is suing for primary custody on the basis that I am unfit (interesting that he thinks that since he's not even here to see my parenting). I can not go in there without representation. I can not believe his attorney did this to us... I mean, we weren't trying to delay; there was a death in the family!

I just don't know what to do. I can't believe that he is doing this to us.
post #2 of 130
If you have to...

You walk in the court and explain the situation to the judge. You make it clear to the judge that this is too important for you to proceed without your lawyer and that you feel it was not compassionate for the other lawyer to reject the continuance when your lawyer was faced with the death of their child.

Make it clear to the judge that you are wanting this to move forward quickly and easily, but you feel it is necessary to have a little time to get proper legal representation.
post #3 of 130
Stand up in there and say exactly what MsChatsAlot told you to say. No judge will allow you to be in court without an attorney like that. AND it will look really crappy for your x's attorney. Family court is not a good place to play hardball, unless you absolutely have to.
post #4 of 130
Yes, do exactly as MCA and BB have counselled. Hopefully you'll have the same judge when you return to court and they will remember the other attorney's actions.
post #5 of 130
I am an attorney, and that shows a complete lack of professional courtesy. I just can't imagine doing that to a colleague. I hope the judge reams him a new one. Any judge I've every been before would. Make sure the judge knows that you asked for a continuance and the other lawyer refused. Please keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you.
post #6 of 130
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone. His attorney has been really vicious and unwilling to communicate with us at all throughout this process. They are playing nasty, but I didn't imagine it would go so far as to disrespect my attorney during such a horrible time. For a long time I was thinking "they must be really good and have a strategy for this" because they were really dragging me through the mud. After this, I am sure that they aren't actually good, they are stupid. Communication is the key to co-parenting, and the court wants us to co-parent. So they are screwing up big time.

If worse comes to worse, I will go to court with the letter we wrote to his attorney and explain the situation. I can't believe how disrespectful they have been.
post #7 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
If you have to...

You walk in the court and explain the situation to the judge. You make it clear to the judge that this is too important for you to proceed without your lawyer and that you feel it was not compassionate for the other lawyer to reject the continuance when your lawyer was faced with the death of their child.

Make it clear to the judge that you are wanting this to move forward quickly and easily, but you feel it is necessary to have a little time to get proper legal representation.
ditto
post #8 of 130
I'll be thinking about you and sending you energy.
post #9 of 130
Ditto SIlly. I'll be sending some good positive karmic forces your way. And I'm willing to bet you'll get your continuance. If not, the DCA (District COurt of Appeals) would probably reverse and remand any ruling made in which your counsel couldn't be present due to a death in the immediate family. After it's all said and done, I think I'd look into putting a bug in your state bar's ear....Might not be illegal, but it could be considered highly improper to deny a continuance in such a situation. Play their game...Attorney's hate dealing with bar issues...even if it can't cause them permanent issues...its still a PITB when someone complains.
post #10 of 130
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kierdan'sMom View Post
Ditto SIlly. I'll be sending some good positive karmic forces your way. And I'm willing to bet you'll get your continuance. If not, the DCA (District COurt of Appeals) would probably reverse and remand any ruling made in which your counsel couldn't be present due to a death in the immediate family. After it's all said and done, I think I'd look into putting a bug in your state bar's ear....Might not be illegal, but it could be considered highly improper to deny a continuance in such a situation. Play their game...Attorney's hate dealing with bar issues...even if it can't cause them permanent issues...its still a PITB when someone complains.
How would I alert the state bar? Just call and ask how they handle these things?
post #11 of 130
Basically. I know that people can cause trouble for lots of nonsensical reasons, and this is certainly not nonsensical...this is real and unnecessary. Just google _____ state bar association. It should give you the name and address and phone numbers
post #12 of 130
Thread Starter 
His attorney apparently called my attorney's office today to apologize. She wanted to accept our continuance and he said no. She said she had no choice but to object on his behalf. Still seems rather snakey to me.
post #13 of 130
Yes, it is. Lawyers do not let clients micromanage the case. She needs to get him in hand, and let him know she's going to be reamed if he's objecting for no earthly reason, and it's going to affect him too. Whatever. Still bring it up to the judge that she refused a continuance, and let her say that it was her client's fault. I almost wish I could be there to see how that goes over.
post #14 of 130
Thread Starter 
I'm glad you all feel so confident about this, because I was thinking that I was overreacting to their objections. I hate the thought of walking in there alone; I know I'm going to feel totally unprotected.

My paralegal said that every single other case she has, the attorneys were totally understanding and willing to accommodate the schedule change. Even the worst divorces were not objecting to the delays. She said that this was the most horrible response she's seen in her career.
post #15 of 130
Are you sure we don't have the same ex? My ex's second attorney effectively fired him when he stopped her from moving forward on an action he had initiated. I forget all the terminology, but she was allowed to be removed from the case because he had in effect tied her hands. This also put him in a postition where I was able to force his hand and move the case forward after all his stop-start stalling actions.
post #16 of 130
Ugh that's disgusting.
And I can't help but think it shows he has far more selfishness and anger than understanding about how much children matter.
I hope it goes well for you and the judge postpones things until your lawyer can be there. I'd be surprised if she/he doesn't postpone.
post #17 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iris' Mom View Post
I am an attorney, and that shows a complete lack of professional courtesy. I just can't imagine doing that to a colleague. I hope the judge reams him a new one. Any judge I've every been before would. Make sure the judge knows that you asked for a continuance and the other lawyer refused. Please keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you.
: i cannot believe he did that and thought the judge would be that callous. ewwww...
post #18 of 130
Thread Starter 
The court denied our request for a continuance. I think I'm pretty screwed. There's no way I can find an attorney to cover me on such short notice, and if I could, they wouldn't be able to get up to speed by Monday morning. I don't know what to do. I can't believe this is happening.
post #19 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheilajolene View Post
The court denied our request for a continuance. I think I'm pretty screwed. There's no way I can find an attorney to cover me on such short notice, and if I could, they wouldn't be able to get up to speed by Monday morning. I don't know what to do. I can't believe this is happening.
oh mama, i'm so, so sorry! i wish i had some advice for you, but i don't. i'll be thinking about you and wishing you all the best.
post #20 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheilajolene View Post
The court denied our request for a continuance. I think I'm pretty screwed. There's no way I can find an attorney to cover me on such short notice, and if I could, they wouldn't be able to get up to speed by Monday morning. I don't know what to do. I can't believe this is happening.
I am so shocked and sorry to hear this! Good grief, how can this be happening???
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Single Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Single Parenting › I think I'm in trouble now... UPDATE 18, 61 **82**