I think I'm in trouble now... UPDATE 18, 61 **82** - Page 6

[Emmeline II]

Wow. Interesting day in court .

[Maluhia]

congrats Mama! I've been thinking about you so much and I'm glad it's going in a good direction for you and ds.

[Iris' Mom]

Great news!

[sheilajolene]

He still hasn't called me about things...

I'm kind of worried. I know it's only been 24 hours, but I'm freaking out that he went home and his girlfriend changed his mind.

I just now sent him an email telling him that I'd like to set up a phone call with him to discuss some things. I told him that we can email the content of the phone call, but I didn't want to email about the situation because I don't want any misunderstandings about tone or intention. Then I added a cute story about ds to soften him up a bit. I hope it isn't too pushy that I'm not giving him more time, but the holidays are only 2 weeks away and I want to know now what he is planning on doing.

I'm so nervous that his girlfriend is going to tell him that he should take ds for the holidays and not stay at my home for Christmas. I am sure that she has now found out that we are requiring her to stay away from ds until X is bonded and she takes parenting classes and drug testing. I think it would be so good for him to actually be here; He would feel like he was a part of things, and maybe he'd see how much work this really is.

[Jster]

I'm so glad everything went well at the court hearing! That's wonderful that your lawyer was on top of things, and even great that his wasn't. Yay! I'm sure it must be a huge relief.

As for Christmas...I would really not try to stress the "him staying over" bit. It seems to me since he has a girlfriend, she may have jealousy issues, and you are making some progress in working things out, well, I'd just appreciate all that! Honestly, the first Christmas, with a 10mo, he's not even going to know what's going on. So it's not such a major thing whether the dad is there or not. My kids have all just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper at that point, more than any excitement about Santa visiting...because it just has no meaning to them.

Maybe if you're starting to get worried, you could just email and say that the offer remains, but the point is to be flexible, so if he has another suggestion which can incorporate your concerns and facilitate bonding, you're open to it. That might give him a way to say, "Thanks for the offer, it's really generous of you to open your house to me and offer to share such a special moment for our son, but I think it might work better if we do XYZ." Okay, this is all really idealized, but hey, it might work out that way! If the girlfriend is going to be a problem...she will be...so I'd try to step lightly around it. It seems to me asking to be with your ex overnight, talk to him on the phone privately, etc., might just raise hackles if they're going to get raised.

Enjoy your sweet victory and the major load of stress off your back!

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by Jster

I'm so glad everything went well at the court hearing! That's wonderful that your lawyer was on top of things, and even great that his wasn't. Yay! I'm sure it must be a huge relief.

As for Christmas...I would really not try to stress the "him staying over" bit. It seems to me since he has a girlfriend, she may have jealousy issues, and you are making some progress in working things out, well, I'd just appreciate all that! Honestly, the first Christmas, with a 10mo, he's not even going to know what's going on. So it's not such a major thing whether the dad is there or not. My kids have all just enjoyed eating the wrapping paper at that point, more than any excitement about Santa visiting...because it just has no meaning to them.

Maybe if you're starting to get worried, you could just email and say that the offer remains, but the point is to be flexible, so if he has another suggestion which can incorporate your concerns and facilitate bonding, you're open to it. That might give him a way to say, "Thanks for the offer, it's really generous of you to open your house to me and offer to share such a special moment for our son, but I think it might work better if we do XYZ." Okay, this is all really idealized, but hey, it might work out that way! If the girlfriend is going to be a problem...she will be...so I'd try to step lightly around it. It seems to me asking to be with your ex overnight, talk to him on the phone privately, etc., might just raise hackles if they're going to get raised.

Enjoy your sweet victory and the major load of stress off your back!

The reason I'm stressing over christmas is that his original suggestion was that our 10 month old go away for a week with him. I'm afraid that if he changes his agreement to stay here with me, then he will continue on with his petition to take ds out of state for the week. I mean, he may not get it, but I don't want to risk it.

[RainbowsMum]

Congratz on the outcome!!!

[loriforeman]

oh, how wonderful...

occasionally, things DO seem to work out. i'm breathing a big sigh of relief for you.

[KatSG]

Originally Posted by WatermelonSnow

...And to think, for all her bluster his attorney was worthless. Or possibly deliberately muffed it once she realized how the situation actually is. Either way, I'm so happy for you and DS!

I was wondering the same thing. Though if I'd been the attorney, I'd try to shift things without looking like an idiot. Did your ex say anything about her competence?

[sheilajolene]

We just got orders from the judge. My new thread is here.

[homewithtwinsmama]

Why can't I find the new thread????? Help!

[WatermelonSnow]

Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama

Why can't I find the new thread????? Help!

Probably because it got pulled.

Sheilajolene, how are you and DS doing?

[sheilajolene]

I should have warned people that I was having it pulled. Hah, my pm box is totally full.

Today is going ok. I have a friend here, which makes it a much easier situation. He was only here for an hour last night and he was an hour late today, so we know where his priorities *aren't*

[WatermelonSnow]

Having another adult there is definitely a good idea. Keeps the likelihood of trouble down. Glad to hear his first visit was so short, that should give DS a chance to warm up to him.

[BabyBearsMummy]

I hope your day goes well and neither you nor your DS has to stressfull a day.

[CitizenStar]

Sheilajolene,

Thought of you and DS all weekend....I hope all went well and not too terribly stressful.

[CitizenStar]

Is there a new thread? When I click on the link I get a system message....

Sheilajolene,
How did everything go?

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by CitizenStar

Is there a new thread? When I click on the link I get a system message....

Sheilajolene,
How did everything go?

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

I should have warned people that I was having it pulled. Hah, my pm box is totally full.

My guess would be that she ended up posting more info than she was comfortable having on a public forum.


She said that his first visit was short and went well, but she hasn't updated in a few days.

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

My guess would be that she ended up posting more info than she was comfortable having on a public forum.


She said that his first visit was short and went well, but she hasn't updated in a few days.

Sorry I've not updated, but I was gone for the holidays! I requested that my other thread get pulled since I'd gotten all I could from it and I knew It was a lot of info.

Ex showed up a total of SIX hours late. After an hour had to go because he had other plans. WTF? He just doesn't care about ds if no one is here to say "oh look what a great dad you are! The baby loves you so much!" He just wants to show off the baby.

The second and final day of visitation, he came an hour late (he had shopping to do, but didn't bring any presents for ds, go figure. Apparently that is what my c/s is for). He was scheduled to stay until ds' bedtime so that he could get to know ds' routine. At three pm, I went downstairs and ds was playing with my sister. Apparently ex left without any warning, his gf picked him up because they had to "do stuff." GF was probably just sick of hanging out in a hotel room and decided to come get him. I think she paid for this trip and thus got to dictate it. If he really cared about ds, he wouldn't let anyone else get in the way of visitation.

He was in town two days after that and I offered to have him over as much as he wanted during that time. He declined because of other plans.

Would it be a UAV to call him a UAV?

[BabyBearsMummy]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

Would it be a UAV to call him a UAV?

Unfortunately his actions speak volumes about how much your DS really does mean to him. I hope you and your DS had a great holiday season despite all of this.