I think I'm in trouble now... UPDATE 18, 61 **82** - Page 2

[thismama]

What???? I cannot understand this at ALL. There must be some mistake? Either that or there is no justice in this world... geez.

[PixieAlly]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

The court denied our request for a continuance. I think I'm pretty screwed. There's no way I can find an attorney to cover me on such short notice, and if I could, they wouldn't be able to get up to speed by Monday morning. I don't know what to do. I can't believe this is happening.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and I know your lawyer must be going through hell but doesn't she have someone who can fill in for her?? It seems unprofessional that she wouldn't.

Ally

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by PixieAlly

I'm sorry this is happening to you and I know your lawyer must be going through hell but doesn't she have someone who can fill in for her?? It seems unprofessional that she wouldn't.

Ally

There are two other attorney's in the firm, both of whom are in other trials at that time. The other problem is that neither of them really understand my issues with his father. They have both told me that worst-case is that my son who is 10 months will go across country twice a month for visits (my son does not know his father and his father has absolutely no bond with my son). NO other attorney has suggested that as an option and I am not confident that they are going to adequately represent my needs.

I am so shocked. He is coming to visit tomorrow and I don't know how I am going to look at him. I just want to throw up.

[sheilajolene]

On the upside, I have lost 15 pounds.

[sophiekat]

WHAT????? i'm an attorney as well and can't believe the court denied the continuance -- what did they say? what state are you in?

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by sophiekat

WHAT????? i'm an attorney as well and can't believe the court denied the continuance -- what did they say? what state are you in?

PM'd you!

[honolula]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

On the upside, I have lost 15 pounds.

Aren't custody battles THE BEST diets?
I'm just here to send positive vibes for you. This really seems unimaginably absurd. How on EARTH could they deny your continuance???!!!

[WatermelonSnow]

I can't believe it was denied and am livid on your behalf! I hope the attorney mamas here can help you negotiate this.

[sheilajolene]

Well, one attorney in my firm said "no" to handling my case! She's even available that day! The attorney who is in court and can not be there with me is going to file another motion because there is no reason why the courts should force me to go in there without counsel. It's not like I'm just delaying for the hell of it, you know? It seems unethical for them to not grant me a continuance when my lawyer is not available to me.

[homewithtwinsmama]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

Well, one attorney in my firm said "no" to handling my case! She's even available that day! The attorney who is in court and can not be there with me is going to file another motion because there is no reason why the courts should force me to go in there without counsel. It's not like I'm just delaying for the hell of it, you know? It seems unethical for them to not grant me a continuance when my lawyer is not available to me.

What on earth is going on that another lawyer in her firm WITH availability is refusing to help? Can you go to the partner's in the law firm and complain that they need to get someone to help you?

If this judge refuses continuance again and you have to go to court alone, you need to file a formal complaint against this judge. There is no excuse for not continuing this case a few weeks for such a valid excuse from an attorney. And no reason to punish you for the fact that your attorney had an emergency. Family court is just so dicey. Little dictators these judges are!

[Iris' Mom]

I'm absolutely speechless. I've never witnessed a judge forcing a case to go on without counsel, and in family court, I would expect the judge to be even more accomodating. Unless there have been some major shenanigans in the case history, like 25 past continuances for frivolous reasons, I just can't imagine a judge forcing a person to appear without counsel.

I'm on thin ice here, because I'm really not sure, but when I worked in a firm, all of our clients were clients of the firm. That certainly meant that we each had a resonsibility to each client. I don't know if the structure of the firm makes a difference, though. It might be worth calling and saying, "I'm a client of this firm, and when I have a court appearance, I expect an attorney from the firm to be there to represent me." I don't think you have much to lose at this point, even if you're wrong.

I'm going to go even further out on a limb here, and say, yes, I know this is horrible BUT -- shouldn't this really be your lawyer's problem now? It's horrible what happened to her daughter, but this is you child's well-being. Her job is to represent you, and she failed to get herself off the hook. I worked for a large firm, so the expectations were totally different, but I had to hop on a plane the minute my father's funeral ended because my client needed me. I don't know, it was awful, and I feel terrible suggesting that you force the issue, but I guess I'd put my own child's well-being ahead of somebody else's. My ethics are totally rusty, so I hope someone else will opine.

[PixieAlly]

Originally Posted by Iris' Mom

I'm absolutely speechless. I've never witnessed a judge forcing a case to go on without counsel, and in family court, I would expect the judge to be even more accomodating. Unless there have been some major shenanigans in the case history, like 25 past continuances for frivolous reasons, I just can't imagine a judge forcing a person to appear without counsel.

I'm on thin ice here, because I'm really not sure, but when I worked in a firm, all of our clients were clients of the firm. That certainly meant that we each had a resonsibility to each client. I don't know if the structure of the firm makes a difference, though. It might be worth calling and saying, "I'm a client of this firm, and when I have a court appearance, I expect an attorney from the firm to be there to represent me." I don't think you have much to lose at this point, even if you're wrong.

I'm going to go even further out on a limb here, and say, yes, I know this is horrible BUT -- shouldn't this really be your lawyer's problem now? It's horrible what happened to her daughter, but this is you child's well-being. Her job is to represent you, and she failed to get herself off the hook. I worked for a large firm, so the expectations were totally different, but I had to hop on a plane the minute my father's funeral ended because my client needed me. I don't know, it was awful, and I feel terrible suggesting that you force the issue, but I guess I'd put my own child's well-being ahead of somebody else's. My ethics are totally rusty, so I hope someone else will opine.

I kind of agree with you here as far as the OP needs to put her child's needs before her lawyers. It's ok to have compassion for someone elses problems of course but at the same time she needs to have some compassion for yours. She could easily call the other lawyers in her firm and make one of them represent you. I know you said you didn't like what the other lawyers views are on your case but I think at this point it would be better to go in there with someone then no one at all.

Ally

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by PixieAlly

I kind of agree with you here as far as the OP needs to put her child's needs before her lawyers. It's ok to have compassion for someone elses problems of course but at the same time she needs to have some compassion for yours. She could easily call the other lawyers in her firm and make one of them represent you. I know you said you didn't like what the other lawyers views are on your case but I think at this point it would be better to go in there with someone then no one at all.

Ally

I've made a really big stink about this at my firm. The attorney who has court that day is filing a continuance on her other case so that she can be at mine, and she's also filing that we need to over rule the courts' decision on my delay. The court should not be able to force me to go in there without counsel. I would *really* rather get a continuance. I hired MY attorney, not her subordinates, but I will take what I can get. I have spoken to many lawyers in my area, who pretty much are booked that day and can't take me... I don't want to switch now, anyway, because I doubt I would get a continuance for that either.

About the attorney who said "no" to my case--It terrifies me to have someone represent me when she has clearly stated that she is not prepared nor does she agree with my parenting enough to represent me.

I can't bring myself to make my attorney come back now. I don't think they have even buried her daughter, and I worry how her mental state would affect her representation.

I bet my ex is having a field day with this. He's probably loving that he screwed me so hard. This weekend is going to be really tough because I don't know how to look at him without breaking down. I don't think I've really cried once since I got pregnant. Not when he left me (either time) or sent me across country with no where to live and no financial or emotional support. I didn't get upset when he cheated on me or told me he hated me when I was pregnant or when he threw away my personal belongings. Or got engaged when I was 6weeks post-partum. This whole time I have been a solid wall and I feel like he's just breaking it down. He must love this.

What REALLY scares me is that we haven't even gone to court and yet things are already going in his favor. I don't like that at all.

[Iris' Mom]

Truth be told, I'd have trouble forcing the issue myself. These lawyers are really not doing there jobs, though. I hope the one lawyer gets a continuance, but if you do go in there alone, MAKE YOUR RECORD. If it's not on the record it didn't happen. Even though this judge denied your continuance, make sure you still state that you asked the other lawyer for a continuance, and she refused, that you filed a motion and it was denied (that part will be part of the record, but say it anyway), but you think that it should have been granted, ask the judge to reconsider because your child's well-being is at stake, and you have no training in the law and do not wish your dc's fate to be decided just because you were not knowledgeable about custody law, and given your attorney's personal tragedy, she was not even available to help you prepare how to present your case, and therefore you are at a terrible disadvantage, and how can the judge determine what's in the best interests of the child when the parent that has raised that child from birth alone is without counsel and the other parent has never laid eyes on dc until that very weekend.

I'll be thinking of you Monday, and hoping the judge has some sense knocked into him between now and then.

Try not to give ex the satisfaction of seeing you sweat, although I know it'll be hard. He does not deserve it.

[Jster]

Could it be (and just reading between the lines here) that they aren't doing the continuance since your ex has his travel plans to come here for the court date? So he has an argument against continuing?

Still, I think it's an awful situation, and I would be tempted to just go in myself and plead before the judge for a continuance. During my divorce, I ended up representing myself...but I don't necessarily recommend it, it did work out alright in my case though.

Good luck on Monday!

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by Jster

Could it be (and just reading between the lines here) that they aren't doing the continuance since your ex has his travel plans to come here for the court date? So he has an argument against continuing?

Still, I think it's an awful situation, and I would be tempted to just go in myself and plead before the judge for a continuance. During my divorce, I ended up representing myself...but I don't necessarily recommend it, it did work out alright in my case though.

Good luck on Monday!

His defense was that he had to travel and has tickets already and it would be a waste of money. We called the airlines he uses and asked about their canacellation policy. They give full refunds for any fare up until the time the plane leaves, with no penalty, so that was crap.

[PixieAlly]

Originally Posted by sheilajolene

His defense was that he had to travel and has tickets already and it would be a waste of money. We called the airlines he uses and asked about their canacellation policy. They give full refunds for any fare up until the time the plane leaves, with no penalty, so that was crap.

Ok I know this is shitty to have to offer but maybe it's better then going lawyer-less...can you offer to pay for the tickets?

Ally

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by PixieAlly

Ok I know this is shitty to have to offer but maybe it's better then going lawyer-less...can you offer to pay for the tickets?

Ally

I don't even have money for groceries most of the time... besides, the point is that he doesn't want to let me do this. He will find another way of getting out of it.

[thismama]

You need to take proof to the court that the tickets are cancellable up to departure, ASAP!! And request a continuance again, citing more evidence.

[sheilajolene]

Originally Posted by thismama

You need to take proof to the court that the tickets are cancellable up to departure, ASAP!! And request a continuance again, citing more evidence.

By the time we go to court, he will already be in town and therefore will be unable to cancel his tickets... He has to get home somehow. At this point, that isn't even helpful. We did file the airline's cancellation policy with our request for a delay, and it didn't help.

What ticks me off is that he bought his tickets AFTER we asked him for a continuance (my emails from him have the date and time on them proving when he told me he was buying tickets. He purchased tickets one hour after we emailed his attorney to explain what happened). He knew full well that he was going to need tickets if he wanted the court to deny us. I don't know if that will be helpful, but I am printing the emails out and taking them just in case. It is really slimy that his attorney let him do that.