or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › Religious Studies › The Pros and Cons of being raised religious
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Pros and Cons of being raised religious - Page 2

post #21 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint View Post
IME, it's been mostly (not all)
NOT ALL!!! I am sorry that some people were hurt by the Church I love, or the religion they were raised with, etc. I *really* am, but- seriously- I could not have been more careful with what I said. Somehow- I still knew people would have to show how they are an exception (even though I made it so clear there are exceptions!). We are all posting about our own experiences/thoughts on this., I posted what is true for *most* of the people *I* know, not all of them and not random people on MDC.
Lots of my friends IRL have spoken to me about the harm they endured with hypocrisy, lack of love/joy in the religion they were raised with, it is the experience for many people and I think it was worth noting.
post #22 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint View Post
NOT ALL!!! I am sorry that some people were hurt by the Church I love, or the religion they were raised with, etc. I *really* am, but- seriously- I could not have been more careful with what I said. Somehow- I still knew people would have to show how they are an exception (even though I made it so clear there are exceptions!). We are all posting about our own experiences/thoughts on this., I posted what is true for *most* of the people *I* know, not all of them and not random people on MDC.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOkay, and I posted my thoughts/experience. I can't see anything in my post that required this kind of response. In my mind my response pretty much just followed the flow of conversation. And calling me a "random person on MDC" is just dismissive and yucky. I feel like I've read many kind of posts of yours I'm really not getting why you dumped this reaction on me.
post #23 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fyrestorm View Post
For me it was torture!! I knew for as long as I can remember that what was being shoved down my throat was not for me...I rebelled and it was shoved down even harder.
I am so this statement above. I was four years old when I first started questioning; only to be "trounced" by well meaning church mothers and fathers.
post #24 of 98
I'm sorry, tone is hard to read online. I really meant it in an exasperated way, noot angry. I also truly mean it that I am sincerely sorry that you were hurt by your experience. I just wanted to be able to offer what I found to be the case for lots of people I know, without hurting others here who have already said how hurt they were. I just don't know how to be more careful and not hurt feelings ykwim? I am sorry my "random person" thing hurt you too, again, I meant it as exasperation that my words hurt you, someone I don't even know.
post #25 of 98
I'm still a member of the same denomination I (and dh) were raised in. I feel really lucky because I'm certainly inclined to be Christian, and my specific denomination has a lot of really great traditions and practices - women clergy, lots of very, very rich theology, encouragement to read and study.

I had the good luck of having people who were part of my denomination care for me in ways that were important to me when I was growing up - my high school speech coach also belonged to my congregation; a pastor from a different congregation treated me with great respect and kindness during a difficult time when I was in college; another pastor from my denomination taught a course on feminism and Christianity that was very helpful and influential to me.
post #26 of 98
Thread Starter 
UGH I'm sorry I started the thread, this really wasn't what I wanted to happen.
post #27 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
UGH I'm sorry I started the thread, this really wasn't what I wanted to happen.
Don't be sorry- I will bow out. I admit it is hard for me to see my Church as a source of pain for others. Hopefully this can carry on peacefully.
post #28 of 98
I think religion--any religion--provides an ideal forum for the humans involved to showcase their best and worst qualities.

I was raised Catholic and I am still Catholic. I've had wonderful and not-so-wonderful experiences from growing up Catholic. But I think I've experienced the same ratio of good to bad in all the areas of my life unrelated to being Catholic.

So...I would say for me, having a religious upbringing has been a plus. I know too many wonderful people because of it. I like who I turned out to be and growing up Catholic has been a huge part of that. As for the people involved who have not been wonderful...well, we're all human. These people would have been somewhere in the world even if religion didn't exist. (And let's face it...my mother would still be impossible even if she had raised me in a an atheist home. I would never have been allowed to question that either!)
post #29 of 98
Am I the only one part of a religious/spiritual community where the vast majority of kids remain grounded in the faith of their upbringing? And don't see it as a liability?
post #30 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2seven View Post
Am I the only one part of a religious/spiritual community where the vast majority of kids remain grounded in the faith of their upbringing? And don't see it as a liability?
Do you mean that kids raised Catholic stay Catholic, or stay Christian?

I think it's a good thing for a kid to have a religious upbrining. If they decide not to practice their faith as an adult, at least they have a foundation for exploring other denominations. Also, many will stop practicing after HS, but will come back to it when they get married/begin to have kids.

And I think the notion of kids getting to choose when they grow up is a bunch of nonsense. More often than not, they end up nothing. Same goes with "experiencing both faith traditions" in a mixed marriage. You can't really experience a faith unless you're an actual member of it.

Kids don't have a choice in the language they grow up speaking. Why the sudden notion that they should choose their religion?

I was raised Catholic (with Catholic school from 8th grade through HS graduation). This was in the 1970s to mid-1980s. I was a product of post-Vatican II religious ed, which meant there was NO Catholic religious education. My high school religion classes were more concerned about apartheid in South Africa (I graduated in 1987) and other peace and justice issues. Nothing wrong with those, but the problem is that these issues were focused on exclusively. We were taught very, very little about the faith. I loved history and a church history class would have been very cool. There were other things I disagreed with when I did some research after college.

So aside from the droves of people who left after Vatican II due to liturgical changes, there are bunches of us in my age group who are no longer Catholic, some Christian, some not. I'm now an Orthodox Christian. My now-cafeteria Catholic family (dad raised Catholic, my mom converted in the early 60s before she met him) totally embraced the post-Vatican II changes. They would be horrified if they knew how rigorous Orthodoxy is in many things - much more so than even pre-Vatican II Catholicism (during Advent & Lent, for example, we go no meat, no dairy). But then, we're estranged, so I don't have to listen much to my mom go on and on about how I abandoned the pope!:
post #31 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2seven View Post
Am I the only one part of a religious/spiritual community where the vast majority of kids remain grounded in the faith of their upbringing? And don't see it as a liability?
Well, I think that religiosity is a liability, but that's an entirely other thread... :

I do think that most people do remain in the faith they were taught as small children.
post #32 of 98
I was raised in a religious home. But left the church for many years because part of the religious people around me were much worse than those who had no religion. Of course, I also saw a few good people in the church. I soooo did not intend to go back to church ever. But once I met REAL Christians....not just self professing ones.... it changed my life. I always believed in God as a child (was even saved in elem. school)...and when I walked away from the church, I questioned God....but looking back I always knew God was still there. I just didn't want anything to do with Him. It took a whole different church (denomination and people) to bring me back to Christianity. I will never go back to the church I grew up in.

My church is actually doing a series on prodigals in Febuary. (Prodigals are those people who have left God and the church) We've made a list of specific names and have started praying that they "come back home". Of course, we pray for prodigals in general, but there are 206 names that we are specifically praying for. The pastor is already seeing amazing results. We are even adding a 3rd service next month in preparation for their return. (Still adding names if anyone is interested.)

Anyway, I think growing up in religion is good....IF the parents / church is encouraging and is actually teaching the right things. But what happens so often is people see church members like everyone else. Christ isn't evident in their life and of course it IS a big turn off. KWIM Who wants to be a Christian when the "Christians" they know are worse than those with no religion....

Of course, my DH grew up without religion. What little bit he learned growing up is really odd. He didn't even understand the basics of Christianity.... So it makes me wonder about the people who reject Christianity if they also don't have a clear understanding about what it really means to be a life long follower of Christ.
post #33 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMcC View Post

My church is actually doing a series on prodigals in Febuary. (Prodigals are those people who have left God and the church) We've made a list of specific names and have started praying that they "come back home". Of course, we pray for prodigals in general, but there are 206 names that we are specifically praying for. The pastor is already seeing amazing results. We are even adding a 3rd service next month in preparation for their return. (Still adding names if anyone is interested.)
I find that extraordinarily disrespectful.
post #34 of 98
Me, too.
post #35 of 98
I was raised Lutheran by a Lutheran father and a Catholic mother who left the church to raise the family Lutheran, which is the deal she and my father made. I did K-8 parochial school and public high school. When I chose a college, it was a Catholic women's college.

I think that the biggest benefit for me is in understanding the allusions in literature (and everyday life, really) that are from Christianity. I also think I have a decent sense of discipline (when I choose to... ) and I attribute a lot of that to growing up religious. I think my strong love of music, particularly choral work, is from that, as well.

The down-side for me was going to such a small school until high school. I was very, very picked on by other kids (hello! Very Tall Baby Dyke!) and it was hard on me.

All that said, I don't think that people who weren't raised religious don't experience similar benefits through other means, and lots of kids go to small schools and hate it.

I left the Lutheran church for the Episcopal church (we're in full communion, so it's not a huge thing, really) as an adult.
post #36 of 98
Christina, could you talk a bit about how that works? Are you praying for healing for those who have been hurt and abused, and justice within the church to work against future hurt and abuse? Or is the agenda different from that?

I'm just wondering if you could contextualize a bit.
post #37 of 98
Frog, in your experience are Episcopals more progressive on gay and lesbian issues? My SIL chose an Episcopal church in part for that reason, although her previous (and very gay-friendly) church was Lutheran - for her I think it was more about the particular congregation.
post #38 of 98
I was raised in a religious family, but I never felt like my parents were pushy or judgmental. I've never been afraid to approach my parents and I love our relationship. I'm not perfect, and I've learned that's okay. My DH and I raise our son Catholic. However, the parochial schools I attended were HORRIBLE. They have a very "holier than thou" mentality. And anyone who makes any mistake in life is doomed because apparently good Catholics never make mistakes. I will probably end up just homeschooling ds. Many kids I went to HS with don't practice anymore.

Dh was raised a reformed LDS. He no longer practices. His grammy nearly had a heart attack when he mentioned he thought of converting to Catholicism.
post #39 of 98
It's interesting to hear about the people who were raised with no religion, and how they feel about it. I know lots of folks who are very happy with this experience, and I can see how that would be.

On the other hand, I was raised with no religion and I was one of those kids who had a real yearning for some kind of spirituality. I thought about God a lot. I was curious about religion and wished so hard that I could be part of it. I wondered why my dad never talked about his being Jewish or what Christianity had meant to my mother before she left it. None of that was ever talked about.

From a very early age I resolved that my children, when I had them, would be raised with some kind of religion. I didn't care if they rejected it when they were older, but I wanted them to have that religious identity while they were growing up.

Although I'd be a bit disappointed if my sons do end up rejecting the Judaism they're being raised in, I wouldn't regret my decision to give them that grounding in their cultural/religious tradition.
post #40 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
I find that extraordinarily disrespectful.

Why? I apologize since it offended you. But I really don't understand why it is disrespectful.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Religious Studies
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › Religious Studies › The Pros and Cons of being raised religious