Teacher telling kids they have to try new foods...

[lindberg99]

My DD is 9 and in 4th grade. She is a very picky eater and we don't force her to try stuff if she doesn't want to.

She came home yesterday with a note about how her group is going to have a potluck lunch. Each child is supposed to bring in something for lunch. DD said she would bring in PB & J sandwiches, which was fine with the teacher. I figured she wouldn't eat anything else but she can have one of her sandwiches for lunch and she'll get enough to eat.

I said something to her about it and she starts saying how she doesn't want to go to the potluck lunch and crying. I asked her why she didn't want to go and she wouldn't tell me. I said something about the potluck tonight at dinner and she started crying again. I finally got her to tell me that she doesn't want to go because the teacher said the kids would have to try everything that was brought in.

This seems silly to me but it is really bothering her. I can see her point if I think how I would feel if I went to a potluck that had food I that I just couldn't make myself eat (like chocolate covered bugs or something ) and then someone told me I had to try it ALL.

So I don't know if I should just send her with her lunch and tell her to skip the potluck (it's only a group of the students, the rest will go to the normal lunch time but I'm sure she'd be the only one from the group not going) or tell her to go and tell the teacher she doesn't want to try stuff or should I say something to the teacher?? I really have no idea what to do and the lunch is the day after tomorrow so I have to figure something out! Any suggestions are appreciated.

[messy mama]

I would just send a note to the teacher, stating that your child does not have to try anything she doesn't want to.

Does this teacher not know about food allergies/sensitivities? Or even that people have different tastes in food?

Then I'd ask the teacher if she was planning on trying out all these food that 4th graders made. Uhhh, I'd be scared to.

[yarngoddess]

Being a former picky kid, this may be silly to you, but it can be HORRIBLE to us. I hated all "normal" foods, and would only eat certain foods that I loved.

I would talk to the teacher and explain that you aren't going to FORCE your child to eat all that is avalible. Tell her that DD has been crying even when bringing up the potluck. If the teacher isn't receptive to your daughter's needs, then you need to take it to the principal. I hope that your DD has fun at the potluck, if you are able to work out a deal.

[yarngoddess]

Sorry- Double post!

[kmeyrick]

We don't bother doing that at my school. Pain in the neck, bigger fish to fry.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by kmeyrick

We don't bother doing that at my school. Pain in the neck, bigger fish to fry.

I feel like I'm missing something. You don't bother doing what?

yarngoddess - When did you start eating more? Just curious as I wonder if my DD ever will or if she'll still be eating PB&J for every meal when she's an adult.

I talked to DD about the potluck again and asked her if she wanted me to write a note. She said she just doesn't want to go. So I told her she can just take her lunch along and skip it. This isn't something she should stress out about.

[yarngoddess]

Well... I started eating more in High School. I guess when my mom quit obsessing about how PICKY I was. I realy didn't try things like Chinese (sp) and other "exotic" foods until I was out of the house.

I did learn in junior high, and high school that there was more than chicken, and pb&j's out there. Just support her, and she will eventually learn to eat more foods. Don't force her, but don't hinder the rest of the family's tastebuds. If you are having say Panda's Orange Chicken as the large part of dinner, allow her to eat it, to try 1 bite- if she doesn't like it then offer her an alternative that you don't have to "cook" like cereal or PB&J. Hang in there!

It WILL get better, I eat lots of different foods now.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by yarngoddess

Well... I started eating more in High School. I guess when my mom quit obsessing about how PICKY I was. I realy didn't try things like Chinese (sp) and other "exotic" foods until I was out of the house.

My DD has told me she'll eat more when she's in high school!

I don't pay much attention to her eating. If she doesn't like what we're having for dinner, she just makes a sandwich or something. I figure everyone has their quirks. She's healthy and growing so she must be getting enough to eat. For a while my DH was worried that our two boys would end up picky from watching her. But they both eat pretty much anything.

[mattemma04]

My 5yo ds is very picky.Lol,he will refuse to eat anything if I put something he does not know/like near the foods he will eat.Dh told me I should force it.I tried 2 times.Once he gagged,and the other time he threw up.I told dh he was on his own from now on,because I refuse to push the issue.

Hopefully the teacher(or the kids) won't nag your dd to eat things. If it were my ds,and I knew he would be pushed,I would probably keep him home that day.

[RomanGoddess]

Er, what exactly is she going to do to kids who don't try a bit of everything? Forcefeed them? Hook up the food by intravenus? Just curious.

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by cmlp

Er, what exactly is she going to do to kids who don't try a bit of everything? Forcefeed them? Hook up the food by intravenus? Just curious.

Maybe do what my MIL did to DH: Hold his nose shut so he had to open his mouth to breathe and then shove food in when he did!:

I told my DD that he can't force her to eat. But she's pretty sensitive and is worrying about this a lot.

[peaceful_mama]

at age 9 i had broadened my horizons from potatoes (mashed or fries), chili (canned), cream of wheat, PBJ, and junk food (chips, ice cream, candy, etc.) to include PLAIN cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, canadian bacon pizza, and fried chicken. oh nd i liked strawberries and raisins.
I remember specifically thinking that meat was gross because it had blood in it. I don't remember what my thing was about everything else.

I'm 30 now....and the only *dislikes* I can think of off the top of my head are pickles and cottage cheese. My favorite meals are mostly decidedly "ethnic".

I know I am the kind of person that has to try certain things a few times before I like them. Usually with something else at first. Like for example, my DH considers chickpeas with sesame oil and cumin and salt a fine snack. I had to sample it a few times before I decided it was good. I fell in love with sushi before sashimi, because you don't taste the fish as much with the rice.

In other words, I think she'll outgrow it. meanwhile my parents never forced me to try anything.

my children are 3 and 11 months in a couple of days. My 3 year old will eat almost anything we do--literally I can take him places like Indian restaurant, Chinese, whatever, he will eat. We make a lot of Indian, etc.
My daughter has yet to meet a food she does not like, save for the time she accidentally got a jalapeno! Well, she's not real wild on tomatoes or avocado on their own, but she LOVES guacamole--go figure!
I just keep giving her bits to try.
I'd go with the one bite thing, she can try just one bite if she wants to and if she doesn't like it she can go make a sandwich or something.
She will learn.

as for the p/luck if the rule is they have to try everything and that is stressing her out to the point that she is crying about it a lot at home, I would let her bring her own lunch and call the teacher and say she won't be participating. *I* wouldn't want to go and be forced to eat say escargot or something. Why do people think just because they're kids, their opinion and feelings are somehow less valid than ours?!

[ProtoLawyer]

I'd call the teacher and first find out whether your daughter's account is accurate...she could have interpreted "we'll all have lots of new foods to try!" as "we'll all have to try all of the new foods." If it is accurate, that teacher is way out of line. Are there any vegetarians in the class? Students who keep kosher or have allergies? I can understand instructing students to be polite about declining, and not judging food before you've tried it (my 5-year-old SD has a habit of going "eeeew! I hate quinoa!" when she doesn't even know what it is), but actually telling students they have to eat everything goes too far.

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer

I'd call the teacher and first find out whether your daughter's account is accurate...she could have interpreted "we'll all have lots of new foods to try!" as "we'll all have to try all of the new foods."

I agree with this. It's really hard to get a clear picture sometimes when you're not the one hearing the information, ykwim? Talk to the teacher and explain that your daughter had a bit of hesitation about having to try all the foods and that you wanted to be able to reassure her that she wouldn't have to eat everything.

[Myboysmom]

I can't imagine a teacher doing that. Then again it would be against district policy here to bring "homemade" anything for a class party.

OTOH when my ods was in preschool they had tasting parties. Parents were free to "opt their child out" for what ever reason. The class would each taste (one small bite) of a food, all at the same time. The teacher counted as they chewed about 3 times. Then, if they didn't like it there was a bowl for each child and they could spit it out. It was amazing how many things they discovered that they LIKED when then knew they DIDN'T have to eat it!