I can not sleep

[Kontessa]

I am such a mess mamas.... no sleep as of late because baby is up all night and toddler up all day. Only right now Libby is sleeping and I could be sleeping but I have so much emotion. (Don't I always?)

Memorial to sing at of a dear friend on Saturday and without too much info I can say by this time next week, sooner even, I should have my hubby in arms. So much emotion..... Add to this my closest friend here has a broken heart and looks like I will be moving before spring across country and leaving her will be so hard, specially as he hubby is in Kuwait. She needs me but I must move.... I hurt for her and for me. I will miss her so much.

So I am up and emotional and I am worried.

I have had a fever coming and going, about 101 for a week now. I am so weak. I felt better last week even, this week is the worst I have felt in such a long time. Not sure what is wrong with me. Advice on what I can do to get my energy back and balance some of these emotions? It all feels like too much. I just do not know if I can keep it together till my husband gets home. Libby and I have cried ourselves to sleep twice in the last 24 hours. I do not believe in CIO but I had no choice I could not even see the numbers on my phone to dial for help. I had to put her down and I could not stay awake.

My friend has finals tomorrow and after I might take my kids and go stay with her till my hubby gets home to make sure the kids and I are safe. Not sure if it is a good idea though as her toddler that is in day care normally is sick sick and baby does not need that.....

Anyway.... advice please?

[scheelimama]

Kimmy, I definitely think you should go stay with your friend. It sounds like you're in a pretty bad place. You need some help. I so wish I could be there with you. I can't wait for your husband to get there. Everything will be so much better once he's home. I'm glad it's less than a week away.

And please don't feel bad about letting her cry. She's okay and she knows her mommy loves her. Piper cried herself to sleep a few days ago. I nursed her, held her, rocked her, changed her diaper, rocked her and nursed her more and finally had to lay her down to do somethings and take care of my other kids. She cried for 5 min. and just as I was coming to get her to strap her into my mai tai, she stopped crying and was asleep. I felt terrible, but when you're alone with 3 kids, the baby can't always take first place. Sometimes the other kids need mama. Sometimes mama needs a few min. for herself. Please do whatever you must to take care of yourself and your babies.

[sorteep]

big hugs.. go stay with friend just wash hands like a fiend... ask for help from anyone willing and it is ok for baby to cry a bit if all needs met... i have had three criers and sometimes they simply have to be put down and cry for a bit.. hard but harder on you than her kwim.. many hugs

[chrysalis]

i am so sorry you are feeling so exhausted and overwhelmed...i hope you find some rest and relief mind body and soul.

i too am feeling very overwhelmed and sooooooooo exhausted. baby fussing at night really gets to me and effects my sleep, and i can barely function during the day. i don't know if i could let sheamas CIO as i couldn't w/ megh and so far can't w/ him either...it is too much for me emotionally...and seems too much for my babies too.

anyway...just wanted to send you major huggage.

[GinaRae]

Originally Posted by scheelimama

Kimmy, I definitely think you should go stay with your friend. It sounds like you're in a pretty bad place. You need some help. I so wish I could be there with you. I can't wait for your husband to get there. Everything will be so much better once he's home. I'm glad it's less than a week away.

And please don't feel bad about letting her cry. She's okay and she knows her mommy loves her. Piper cried herself to sleep a few days ago. I nursed her, held her, rocked her, changed her diaper, rocked her and nursed her more and finally had to lay her down to do somethings and take care of my other kids. She cried for 5 min. and just as I was coming to get her to strap her into my mai tai, she stopped crying and was asleep. I felt terrible, but when you're alone with 3 kids, the baby can't always take first place. Sometimes the other kids need mama. Sometimes mama needs a few min. for herself. Please do whatever you must to take care of yourself and your babies.

:

I agree with everything. Take care of yourself!!

[wwisdomskr]

having a hard time nak

glad you're going to your friend...there's no reason to do this alone. you are in my thoughts and prayers...sending energy and strength (that you already have) and lots of love.

[scheelimama]

Kimmy, how are you today? Did you decide to go to your friends house. I'm worried about you. Let us know how you're holding up.

[Kontessa]

I just could not bring myself to put baby around a sick day care child. I know that sounds horrible but if she gets really sick I worry things would get much much worse. So I keep telling myself just a few nights more and I will not be alone. I have to be able to do this. Lets see how I am at 2am though....

[Curlita]

Can you find someone to come stay with you, at least part-time, until hubby gets home? I'm glad he will be with you soon, it sounds like you really need some support.

[GinaRae]

How did you do last night?

[Kontessa]

It was hard and I am so drained today but I did manage to get out to a friends house and the kids made a huge poster for the house to welcome Daddy home. Soon must get ready for church tree trimming as I am singing. I am going to try so hard to have a good time and forget tomorrow is the memorial. So very hard though. I have not ever taken a death this hard but I am not the only friend of hers still so upset. It helps some how to know I am not alone. Tonight SHOULD be my last night alone if all goes as it should and I should be able to do the whole memorial tomorrow without conflict. Tomorrow night should be wonderful.

It is soon over, but it still seems to hard. I need to do these events. I know they will help me but the physical energy........ I am just not sure.

Thank you for thinking of me.

[scheelimama]

Kimmy. You'll make it. FWIW, the last few days before having my husband back with me always seems the hardest. For some reason, it's like you know you soon won't have to be as strong, and you have trouble being as strong because of it. Just keep your eyes focused on tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. How exciting for you that he's almost here!!!

[kathteach]

Sending hugs and moral support your way, momma.