I'm Becky, SAHM to 4yo DD and 2yo DS, with one due in March. Married to DH since 2000. Both of us are life-long members. We live on the east coast but long to be back west. Specifically Colorado.
Had our tithing settlement last night and about 2 seconds of it were focused on asking the "full tithe payer" question, and then it felt like a big guilt trip after that. Not that the bishop meant it to be at all, I'm sure, but it felt like it. "Did you get to go to the temple this year?" "Yes!" we say excitedly. BIL/SIL watched our children for us while we did a session over thanksgiving weekend. It was the first time DH and I have been to the temple together in several years. We had a horrible experience when DD was 12 months old - we attended a stake special session that included a spiritual hour long meeting on the 7th floor of the DC temple, followed by a wait to get into an endowment session, followed by the session itself. By the time it was over, I was RUNNING out to the neighboring stake center to get my daughter. I had been praying in my head the whole time we were in the temple that she'd be okay. But she wasn't. She had screamed her head off nearly the whole time we were in there, and hadn't eaten at all. I felt so awful for her that I didn't go again any time soon. And then DS was born who wouldn't even take a bottle and had some terrible separation issues, combined with my distrust of letting anyone else watch my children after DD's experience. Long story short - I feel truly blessed that DH and I got to the temple even once this year, and that the kids did wonderfully while we were in the session. I sincerely doubt that I will convince myself that anyone can take care of baby #3 well enough to allow me to go to the temple once he is born (aside from maybe DH sitting in the visitors center waiting for me) and for at least a good year and a half to two years after that. So when the bishop challenged us to think about how we can go to the temple together more often, I tried to remind myself of the "times and seasons for everything" concept.
And then he asked how the spirituality is in our home. Boy, another guilt trip there. We have our prayers at dinner time, but we've long since fallen completely out of habit of saying family prayers, scripture time, and we've *never* been good at FHE. So aside from nice little conversations that DD gets started with her questions, our home spirituality really is at the bottom of the scale, I guess. I think DH and I both felt too guilty to be completely forward at answering that question, and I just jumped in with a "Well, we *definitely* need to be better at FHE".... and that doesn't seem as bad as needing to be better at *everything*.
I know I need some serious improvements in these areas. I feel great about myself that I've made good choices in the very temporal departments of bf'ing, natural birth, circ, etc. ... but when I really stop to think about it, I realize that the spiritual lackings our family has will definitely impact my children on a larger scale than any of those things. When I mentioned to the bishop that FHE was never something my own family was good at, so it's hard for me to really work on incorporating, he brought up a good point: If DD grows up with FHE, *she* will have an easier time making sure *her* family does it when she is a mother. And DUH, that's what I want for so many of the changes I've already made in my life! I *want* her to think nursing is perfectly normal. That natural childbirth is a huge blessing. That circumcision is not acceptable. Of course it would make her life easier if FHE was also normal, if family prayer was a given, if scripture study was part of every day life. Then she wouldn't have this problem that I'm having!