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LDS Papas and Mamas #48 - Page 6

post #101 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
alright, so, sammy has decided he likes to nurse to wake (not just nurse to sleep). ...
If people ahve suggestions that would be sweet, but mostly I just needed to vent a little.
Lovin my baby, just going slightly crazy!!!
jenni

I understand. My ds was like that. Usually it was worse when he was figuring out a new skill. I thought my boobs were gonna die when he was learning to walk. Sammy just started walking didn't he? That could be part of it.
post #102 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
and I know he doesn't need it as often as he's going for it...
Eh, depends on what you mean by need, yk? I totally hear you though. It's hard. My eldest used to nurse a LOT. It would take him like 45 minutes to nurse to sleep and if I tried to leave too early, we had to start over again from 0. THAT was hard. This baby (now 13 months old) has been slightly easier, although I would've been complaining more had he been my first. Anyway, here's a hug for you.
post #103 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by klg47 View Post
I totally understand you about the age. I don't typically say this to anyone, but I don't feel like a mother. I wonder how I could possibly be a mother - I feel like I'm playing house. I never refer to myself as a woman - it's always a girl. I think there's something more to that than just thinking I'm young - I'm not sure what though.

This is what I meant about being 31 and just "growing out" of this stage. I totally felt like I was playing house for the longest time. Maybe I just feel old enough now that it seems right. I dunno?
post #104 of 678
Yeah, I still feel like I'm playing house. Every once in a while it's weird that these kids are really mine. They don't have any other mother but me. Yep, this is real.
post #105 of 678
Haha I had a really hard time when DS came home accepting that he was mine. For probably 2 months I would start crying and tell DH that I felt like his "real" mother was going to come and take him from me at any moment. It was just too good to be true.

I definitely still feel like I'm playing house. Then again, when I'm 22 and my best friends are engaged and still live at home with their parents, it's not hard to feel like I'm the one pretending, kwim?
post #106 of 678
See, for me it's the opposite. I got married when I was 18. My 4 year wedding anniversary is on the 16th of this month. I have a very hard time feeling like I am 22, and not several years older. It really hard that I can't relate to very many people, no matter what their ages. I'm in reality much younger than most people that are married with a house and a kid, but I have so much more responsibility than most people my age. I really struggle to find friends because I feel like I just don't fit in anywhere. Which makes me sad

There most be something going on with the planetary alighnment or the nasty weather or something. I feel like everything and everyone is in a funk!
post #107 of 678
You ladies crack me up!

I've just been thinking about this lately- like when did I get to be so old and responsible? I'm 29, will be 30 in the spring, and its been so strange. I graduated from high school 11 years ago- and my oldest is six!

Every so often, I look at my kids and my messy house, and wonder how in the world I got here. There are days that seem like they last an eternity, and yet, I've been married almost eight years, and sometimes I feel like I should still be in college!

There's also a minor time warp in my life because friends in my ward and the ones that I grew up with are having their third or fourth kids, and since its more unusual in our culture to have a 4 1/2 year old without another one, everyone assumes we're done. How weird would that be? Then I realize that five more years, and I'll be considered "advanced maternal age" for obstetrics. How strange. Good thing I don't use ob's for pregnancy, because at the rate we're going, we might still be trying for a baby when I'm 35!
post #108 of 678
Yea, the first day I realized I was a mom and not just playing house was our first parent teacher conference. I thought, "wait, I'm the parent!" I didn't know what I was supposed to do. It was so weird.
: I like this one. that's how I'm feeling right now because I am too cheap to turn our heater up.
post #109 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by RasJane View Post
This is what I meant about being 31 and just "growing out" of this stage. I totally felt like I was playing house for the longest time. Maybe I just feel old enough now that it seems right. I dunno?
I'm 32 but I can't relate. I married at 24 and it took five years to have my first child, so I felt overly ready. I've never felt like I was playing house.

Jenni- when you figure it out, let me know, because Connor wakes up now more times in the night to nurse than Deirdre does, and I'm starting to resent him.
post #110 of 678
Heh. I married at 25 and had my oldest at 26. I think having him was what brought me out of playing house mode, which was very important to get out of so I could take real life seriously!

I'm 33. I think I look 29-30ish and I feel either a decade older to a decade younger depending on the day. :
post #111 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
See, for me it's the opposite. I got married when I was 18. My 4 year wedding anniversary is on the 16th of this month. I have a very hard time feeling like I am 22, and not several years older. I'm in reality much younger than most people that are married with a house and a kid, but I have so much more responsibility than most people my age.
Yep, this is how I feel. A lot of people my age are not where I am. I am living the life of someone older than I am, mostly outside of the church. I got married at 18 (less than two months after i turned 18), had my first two weeks before I turned 19 and gone on from there. My closest mommy friend is 32. My best friend from high school and i are still really really close. She doesn't have children yet, but that's not from lack of trying, she has a few fertility issues.

But at the same time, I, like a pp said, forget the missionaries aren't my age anymore. I used to enjoy the looks of shock when they found out they were older than I was and I was married with kids.
post #112 of 678
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionTigerBear View Post
Eh, depends on what you mean by need, yk?
very good point. I think his emotional needs are up lately, between the teething and then being under the weather last week. Plus I'm surehe's picking up on my feeling kinda stressed this week with trying to get a christmas play up an dgoing with only half the kids willing to put any effort in... *I need a pulling my hair out emoticon!*


Quote:
Originally Posted by marlygf View Post
: I like this one. that's how I'm feeling right now because I am too cheap to turn our heater up.
it was 9degrees lat monday--25 below with the wind chill.
Still feel cold?!


Quote:
Originally Posted by alisaterry View Post
Jenni- when you figure it out, let me know, because Connor wakes up now more times in the night to nurse than Deirdre does, and I'm starting to resent him.
Yeah, I think that will be the one hard thing about tandem nursing...Connor is two though, so I think he could start learning to be comforted other ways...didn't he mostly wean while you were pg? Maybe you and Bryan and Connor can all make a deal together about how he can have nursing at certain times/places, but in the night, he needs to snuggle with daddy for comfort...not that he can't nurse, just that he can't nurse at night, kwim? I would probably explain that his tummy is big enough to go all night without nursing, but Deirdre's isn't, so she gets night-nursies, but Connor is big so he can have night cuddles and that's more or less the same as nursing, just sans milk...
Willy (7yo) has asked about nursing a couple of times. I asked if he wanted cuddles or just to try the milk, and he said he wanted to taste the milk. So I expressed a little milk into a cup for him and he was very excited to taste it...and said it was nasty! In spite of not liking it, he still asked to nurse. So now we both realize taht what he needs is more hugs and kisses, so we work on that, and voila, he's not asking anymore.

jenni
post #113 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelly1216 View Post
See, for me it's the opposite. I got married when I was 18. My 4 year wedding anniversary is on the 16th of this month. I have a very hard time feeling like I am 22, and not several years older. It really hard that I can't relate to very many people, no matter what their ages. I'm in reality much younger than most people that are married with a house and a kid, but I have so much more responsibility than most people my age. I really struggle to find friends because I feel like I just don't fit in anywhere. Which makes me sad

There most be something going on with the planetary alighnment or the nasty weather or something. I feel like everything and everyone is in a funk!
this is exactly me! i was 17 when i got preggers with Lily 18 when i had her and got married but my "adult" life started way before that as did DH's. our parents are.... not very good parents to say the least. it was DH and i who made sure the house was clean, bills paid, parents weren't dead, etc etc. we've always been older than our age. and i'm just now really starting to feel robbed. we didn't get a nice wedding. as a matter of fact my mom sat there and made cracks while we were reciting our vows. i flipped her off : we had no help whatsoever financially or otherwise when we first moved out. there was a jar of pasta sauce in our fridge and that was it. my mom demanded both of our paychecks in full while we lived with her so basically we had to cash our check and run and rent an apartment to move in RIGHT THEN or else we'd have been on the street. : and so on and so on. i vent about this because we get a lot of crap for being so young- especially being teen parents. if people only knew! having Lily and marrying that young saved the both of us.
post #114 of 678
I was just thinking about that "playing house" thing before actually. I married at 19, am 21 now. As a teen (NOT that long ago, lol) I'd always try to imagine my adult life.. who would I marry? What would he be like? I'd visualize myself with baby, and I'd think of myself as..not necessarily older, (always hoped I'd start a family in my early 20s) but more like.. I'd act/feel older, be more mature? lol. And now I look around and think, wow, this is IT! My husband and baby I've dreamed about for years. How can this be possible? I'm still a kid! I don't know how to run a household! Its totally weird too, that the elders are younger than me now. Except maybe the ones who are almost ready to go home. I still look at a crowd of teenagers and think of them as my peers.
post #115 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
but now he wants it ANYtime he wakes up--in the morning, from naps, in thenight
I have no advice whatsoever - my 3.5-year old is exactly the same way. When he was a baby, he would wake up so happy! He would literally crawl down off the bed, onto the floor, and crawl out to where everyone else was. The whole time he'd be smiling and happy. Now he wakes up grumpy and insists that he must nurse or he melts down into a screaming ball of grumpiness. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that it is 11:30 pm and he is still awake :
post #116 of 678
Gosh those early weeks of tandem nursing were such a blur... I'm so glad I'm only nursing one now. I'm glad I did it, but I'm spacing my kids far enough apart from now on that I don't have to! I second what a PP suggested and allow your DS to just cuddle at night. It may take a few nights to adjust to it and it's going to be hard.

I'm so glad that my spiritual time concept has made an impact on some of you gals! We love it, and it has made a difference in our lives. Before we started it, scripture study was zilch and family prayer was sketchy. FHE happened, oh, never, and the only spiritual things we were doing consistantly was going to church and prayer before meals. Starting spiritual time has allowed us to take it step by step and add in FHE and other aspects of a spiritual home that we would like to have for our children. I'm feeling pretty awful though because I haven't been to the temple since my FIL remarried last December! It's been more than a year, because they had their anniversary already! (And I think we only went for the sealing, not an endowment session)

Since I brought up FHE, tonight for FHE, I gave the lesson, and I discovered a juicy little lesson idea in the Friend, perfect for a couple of little kids. I read a poem about Christmas (in the Friend) and we talked about how Christmas songs help us feel the spirit of Christmas even more, and sang a bunch of Christmas songs. Then we decorated cookies! I was so excited to find this little tidbit that took like 2 minutes to do. I think I'm going to grab more lesson ideas from the Friend from now on. I only wish I had gotten the subscription when my DD was 1 or 2, and started FHE when she was younger.

I'm finally feeling like a grown-up myself. I think it helps that DH and I were married almost 4 years when DD was born, so I had already been playing wife for a while. Though we had been so unstable up to that point, I still didn't feel ready to be a mom. It's been since I quit my job and DH has taken initiative to be the sole provider for our family that I've felt like this isn't a game anymore, this is real life. I'm sure some of my adjustment has to do with my upcoming birthday. I only have 3 more months in my 20s. Actually less than 3 months. I can't believe I'm going to be in my 30's in February. Yikes!
post #117 of 678
Well, its 4:00 AM and it's time to go to bed. I just finished my term paper for my Contemporary American Lit class: 29 Pages (three of which are Works Cited) on "Haunted Men: Stephen King's The Shining and the 'Earlier More Essential and Violent Manhood' of the 1970s."

I used a truncated version of this paper (only 11 pages with 1 page of Works Cited) for the same professor in the spring for my Literary Critical Theory class, and he said I could continue working on this paper for the Amer Lit class. I was thinking I would add 3 or 4 more pages. Not a whole 15 more! : Well, it'll be a good piece to use as my writing sample for my grad school applications.

Anyway, I'm going to bed for the next 2.5 hours. I have to get up at 6:30 so I can be ready and leave the house on time and get to work by 8:00 am. Luckily all I have to do is drop my paper off. No more classes. I'm done until January 3rd!
post #118 of 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionTigerBear View Post
Yeah, I still feel like I'm playing house. Every once in a while it's weird that these kids are really mine. They don't have any other mother but me. Yep, this is real.
This is what I've been feeling too... I keep looking down at my giant belly, and my two toddlers and wonder how I got here. I remember being in high school and wondering what it would be like to be pregnant... now I'm 9 months preggo with #3 and I still wonder that. Some days these kids don't feel like they're mine... and some days I wish they weren't mine.

I really need to get out of my parents house though... I think that's currently contributing to the feeling of "playing house"... so... if anyone would like to send a few prayers in our behalf... DH could seriously use a new job here...

Also, I'd love to go into labor any minute now... so if anyone has any labor vibes to send, I'd love to receive them... I'm now 37w5d... DD#2 was born at 37w4d... so I'm starting to feel "overdue". (Though DD#1 was born at 41w... so I do know what that was really like.)

Emily
post #119 of 678
Praying for you, Emily. We've done the living with parents thing. God bless them, but I wouldn't want to do it again. At least, not until we were at least on more equal footing.



and way to go, NCD!!!!
post #120 of 678
NCD-

Congrats! I dropped my last paper off yesterday. Not nearly as long as yours! Wowzer! I can't believe you could accomplish that with a newborn in the house! (Props to Alisa too- a spouse in school is like living in a madhouse). Mine was on Sleeping methods and the detrimental effects of crying it out. I had to present the rough draft in front of the class and it was definitely a challenge in such a mainstream community.

Frogley- I totally feel you. I'll send you labor vibes if you want them- but maybe baby still needs a little more time. THis is an extremely hard last couple of weeks. I'm just about 39 weeks and EXHAUSTED. I'm truly enjoying every second a little more though because I'm considering this being my last Biological child. I'd really love to adopt after this. It's always been my dream.
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