Can I still be lactivist if......

[MarcyC]

......I quit nursing?

DS recently got diagnosed with a class III tongue tie. And it was only recently that I was educated as to the different classes of tongue tie and how classes III and IV are almost always missed.

I saw one ENT who disagreed with the LC's assessment and refuses to do anything about the tongue-tie.

Well, today I saw the pediatrician and the appointment went well in some respects, but he was blatantly honest.

First off, he feels terrible. He said he knows of the different tongue tie classifications and can't believe he missed the signs in DS. He feels really bad. He really showed compassion and empathy for me and DS. It was touching.

But he also told me that I would be hard-pressed to find an ENT in the area who would agree with the diagnoses. He said the ENT's around here are not educated in issues regarding infant feeding and that they go simply by weight alone (nevermind the fact that I have to unlatch and relatch him 20 times per nursing session and I have use an SNS wide-open just to get milk into the little guy). He said to put it bluntly I probably was not going to get the tongue-tie fixed at this point. (They don't do it in the peds office.)

I'm pumping like mad (got a Lactina), but things are headed downhill FAST!!! Every nursing session gets more and more painful than the last and all this latching/unlatching/relatching is driving me mad! It's so incredibly frustrating and I can tell he is frustrated as well.

What I'd really like to do though is go to LLL meetings and help other new moms and get out this literature about tongue tie. There are two classifications that are really easy to miss and mis-diagnose as simply "low milk supply" and I feel like if this knowledge got out there to enough peds, it would help other new moms who might be struggling.

[Maluhia]

Of course you can Mama!

[Ruthla]

I'm so sorry you're going through all this and the medical community isn't helping you. I hope you're able to find some way to keep feeding him breastmilk and/or nursing, even if you need to use formula as well.

Yes, you can certainly call yourself a lactivist even if you're unable to BF for medical reasons.

[rachelsmama]

I think the fact that you have pursued a proper diagnosis of what's happening instead of just shrugging and saying "meh, breastfeeding doesn't work for me", and the fact that you are working with an SNS and pumping instead of just going straight to bottles of formula proves that you are a lactivist. And who knows, maybe you can educate one or two of your local ENT.

[Livviesmom0207]

DH is a lactivist and he sure ain't bfing

[Flower of Bliss]

That sounds very rough mama. Of course you can still be a lactivist. I hope that you can find someone to help before it comes to quiting.

[ancoda]

Of course you can still be lactivist. So are you saying that where you are it takes a ENT to be able to get him cut? Or you are not wanting him cut? Just wondering, because around here everyone is willing to cut. My son got his done by my midwife.
I really do hope for you to be able to find what works best for you and your son.

[MarcyC]

Around here only ENT's will snip for tongue tie AND on top of that...they will only "snip" with a topical anesthetic in the first few weeks. It's standard that if they are as old as DS (4 months), to put them under general anesthesia. I'm willing to pump and bottle feed before I put my dear little one under general anesthesia. It's a pain sometimes that we don't live in a more progressive or crunchy part of the country...lol!

I felt so bad last night. When I do give him bottles, I'm very intentional with the bonding. Giving him as much of my attention as possible not being on the phone and limiting distractions.

Well, last night (3 am feeding) I was feeding him a bottle of pumped milk and I turned on something mindless on tv so I was cradling him close and feeding him but I was watching t.v.. Well, I looked down at his face and he was wide-eyed just staring intently at me and he had a "tense" look in his face so I turned off the tv, stared at him and he instantly calmed down.

Anyhow, thanks mamas! I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. One day I'm determined to use the SNS and hope his latch gets fixed or somehow corrects itself. Other days I'm just ready to throw in the towel. I don't have a good strong gut feeling about either one right now and until I do, I'm not making any major decisions.

[SashaBear]

Why don't you go on Finding your Tribe and ask for references of who will cut in you area?

Won't tongue-tied-edness affect him in other aspects of feeding? Bottle or solids?

[krystyn33]

I'm sorry nursing has been such a struggle for you.

Of course you are a lactivist! And there are many other mamas here who bottle feed lovingly and attached.

Please share your story and offer support to others--your example is likely inspire someone to work through their own challenges.

[turtlewomyn]

I am sorry this has been such a struggle. My dd was tongue tied as well (I am unsure of the class III designation and what that means though). She was having low weight gain, my nipples were a horrendous mess, and I had a pediatricition, a pediatric surgeon, and an ENT all tell me that tongue tie did not affect breastfeeding. However, the surgeon and the ENT were willing to put her under GA (at one month old!) to fix the tongue tie for me. Luckily I found this doctor in the nick of time: http://twofloridadocs.com
Luckily she was only an hour and a half away from me and I was able to get the tongue to clipped and fixed and I am still bfing my DD who is now two. Perhaps you should contact her and see if she has information about someone in your area who would clip a four month old's tongue tie.

Yes, you can still be a lactivist even if you don't bf.

[MommytoTwo]

Of course you can!!! I have two failed vbac attempts under my belt but I still do what I can to promote the cause of vbac!!! Actually I think sometimes people who ARENT bfing can be the best advocates b/c there is no defensiveness when you are talking to other moms, kwim?

[Momtwice]

1. of course. Men can be lactivists, producing milk is not a prerequesite

2. don't give up if your gut tells you not to

[LittlePeanut]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

1. of course. Men can be lactivists, producing milk is not a prerequesite

LP

[Lil'M]

What about a pediatric dentist? Or a plastic surgeon?

[Qtopia]

First things first... OF COURSE you can still be a lactivist, mama!

And, secondly...

Originally Posted by Lil'M

What about a pediatric dentist? Or a plastic surgeon?

:

My DD had a tongue tie which the ped said was 'fine' and that she 'should' be able to nurse well b/c her tongue *just* reached the gum line, but she freakin' did NOT nurse well, so I asked two LCs and they recommended a pediatric dentist. The dentist's first words when he looked in DD's mouth were "Oh yeah, we need to get rid if that!"

Good luck, mama.

[MaryJaneLouise]

Girlfriend! Don't you DARE give up being a lactivist! We NEED you!

about the head docs in your area.

[jaclyn7]

Of course, Mama! Non-nursing partners, kiddos, and pretty much everyone under the sun can (and should) be a lactivist.

In fact, your story & words of wisdom may be more powerful than the average josephine that found the whole experience hunky dory. We need more people like you.

[snowgirl]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

1. of course. Men can be lactivists, producing milk is not a prerequesite

:

[Breastfeeding Insomniac]

Just a thought, but is it at all posible to come to NY for a day or two and have it done by Dr. Coryllos? She is the TT expert and people such as yourself come from all over to see her. If its at all possible and you need any help organizing a trip here, please let me know, I would be more than happy to try and help.