Fathers who breastfeed!? - Page 3

[lovingmommyhood]

My DH bonded with DS1 well before I did and I was breastfeeding.

[choli]

Originally Posted by MamaLuvsHerBabies

Sorry, but that's just weird. There are some things only women should do...ever.

Why?

[lunar forest]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood

My DH bonded with DS1 well before I did and I was breastfeeding.

lol, of course - no one is saying you CAN'T bond without bf (just imagine all the detached families running around out there!) but I think it's a pretty well established fact the BFing helps, and even that people who can't/don't bf can have a harder/slower time developing attachment.

I know I'd be a suckier mom if I wasn't still nursing dd. I need my daily dose of oxytocin to keep me from being a homicidal maniac sometimes.

[josybear]

i don't 'get' why anyone would be skeeved out by this. if bodies are made with the ability to do something, what right have we to call that ability unnatural? so it's ok with most here for one woman to nurse another woman's child, but the child's father can't?
maybe i'm not getting something. if anyone cares to explain, i'll be over in greenfish's camp.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by greenfish

Absolutely!!! AND--finding that this discovery is awe-inspiring doesn't make anyone else a bad person.

Oh yeah, I don't disagree. I hope I made that clear. Male breastfeeding is not for me and I don't care for it but I don't think that people who do are bad or weird.

Why shouldn't women hog this amazing experience?

I agree. I'm not really into the whole "reverse sexism" side of this argument. There's not much that women get to call our own, so I'm not going to apologize for not wanting to share something that, in my mind, is innately and uniquely female.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by josybear

i don't 'get' why anyone would be skeeved out by this. if bodies are made with the ability to do something, what right have we to call that ability unnatural? so it's ok with most here for one woman to nurse another woman's child, but the child's father can't?
maybe i'm not getting something. if anyone cares to explain, i'll be over in greenfish's camp.

Well, I'm not into breastfeeding other women's children, either. I'm selfish, I don't want anyone but me putting my babies to their breast (I'd gladly use another mama's milk if need, though).

And ah...I'm sure you can think of plenty of things we can do with our bodies that aren't considered okay, if you think about it. I don't want to mention anything specific though, because i don't want it to seem like I'm comparing male breastfeeding to that. Point is still that being able to do something doesn't mean that you should, but I know we live in a very "if it feels good do it" society, so that can be a weird concept.

[Organicavocado]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

There's nothing "natural" about male breastfeeding. If men were meant to breastfeed, their breasts would fill with milk after birth (and yes, someone women don't experience that, but it's exceedingly rare). It would also be common in other mammalian species (it occurs occasionally but it's most certainly not common). I'm not saying people can't think it's cool, but not use whether or not it's natural as a stepping stone to make your opinion more valid or open-minded than someone else's.

Seems to me if it weren't natural, men wouldn't have the ability to lactate at all. Seems like a biological backup if mom dies, to me. Mom is of course primary caregiver, we are biologically made to carry, birth, and care for our babies and men don't share some of those characteristics. However, survival is a funny thing. The fact that men can (and do) lactate with willpower and stimulation screams "survival tactic" to me.

[Organicavocado]

Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae

I agree with CherryBomb!
Furthermore, I question the verity of some of the reports on the original link-- induced lactation is (from all I have read) very difficult even for women (when they adopt, etc)-- the idea that man, by "positive thinking" could induce true lactation within a week.... I don't know. It seems fishy to me.
Also, there are obviously no scientific studies on the long-term effects on the man or the child. I know that I am *still* feeling not quite hormonally "myself" 8 mos into breastfeeding. What must the effect be on men?

I doubt we'll ever see any studies on this based on how torn even this thread is on the subject. You won't see very many men willing to step up and try without 1. a need to do so and 2. encouragement, acceptance, and support. I don't see THAT happening anytime soon.

For what it's worth, I started lactating when I lived with a girlfriend whose baby would wake and cry during the night. I had been pregnant before but never carried a baby to term. I didn't will myself to lactate, I didn't have a breast infection, I took no drugs to start or stop the process. At the time, I'm fairly sure I didn't even understand breastfeeding at all, as she was a FF mom and I was still under the impression that that was just what was done. So to me, it doesn't seem fishy at all.

[ashleyb87]

Originally Posted by MamaLuvsHerBabies

Sorry, but that's just weird. There are some things only women should do...ever.

:

Interesting is all I have to say...

[lunar forest]

Ok I can totally accept that you may not want your male partner to breastfeed, (I wouldn't particularly want mine to either), but I'm still hearing lots of "that's gross/wrong/unnatural/shouldn't be done ever"s without any whys.

Oh yeah, and it's not reverse sexism, it's just plain old sexism - male oppression of women - that I'm talking about. Don't you find this idea so refreshingly/frighteningly challenging to your beliefs of gender roles? Honestly, these disgusted gut reactions are intriguing to me. don't you ask yourself "why?"

[llamalluv]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb

There's nothing "natural" about male breastfeeding. .

Really? Even if it happens without the use of artificial hormones? (Or natural hormones that are injected...)

It might be UNUSUAL, or DIFFERENT, but it certainly isn't unnatural.

[darsmama]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood

Men do not have nipples for breastfeeding. Just because it's possible to do something doesn't mean it should be done.

I'm curious (not snarky) What are their nips for then?

[llamalluv]

Originally Posted by darsmama

I'm curious (not snarky) What are their nips for then?

Purple nurples.

:

[darsmama]

It's too big of thought for such a small brain as I.

[MillingNome]

Originally Posted by MamaWindmill

Run! Run away from this topic! Trust me! :

Sigh :

sad sad memories.

[SaraGriffin]

So do their breasts enlarge like ours do? Because that in itself would be enough to put my DH off doing it - Moobs (Man boobs) are not cute!

[thismama]

Originally Posted by choli

Why?

Because that's nature.

[choli]

Originally Posted by thismama

Because that's nature.

But if a man lactates without the use of drugs, surely that's nature too?

I guess I don't understand why people feel so threatened by the idea. As far as I am concerned, anything that contributes to equal parenting is a good thing.

[Organicavocado]

Originally Posted by SaraGriffin

So do their breasts enlarge like ours do? Because that in itself would be enough to put my DH off doing it - Moobs (Man boobs) are not cute!

You'd think it would be person to person. You'd think if the guy was one of the primary nursers of the babe that there would have to be some sort of change, but I think it depends entirely on the person if they would be noticeable or not.

And then, there are men who already have boobs. My husband is, admittedly, a bit overweight but seriously not overweight enough to account for his B cup breasts that are (unfortunately) perkier than MINE (I would trade if they werent furry lol), and he has never breastfed anybody. Some guys have a lot of mammary tissue, its just how they are.. I've seen a lot of manboobs in my lifetime and I don't think any of them were breastfeeding or lactating.

And, some women avoid breastfeeding for fear of saggy/unattractive boobs, so it doesn't surprise me that men would feel the same way. Again, I do think it's a survival tactic and of course I'm sure our husbands would step in if the whole world turned upside down and we were all living without food underground or something, and mom was somewhere else... When it comes to your kids' lives, manboobs cease to matter. I dont think lactating as a woman lactates is supposed to be appealing to most men just to do it to do it. I think any of the women who FF due to breast fear and whatnot would readily feed their children if the option of formula didnt exist vs. their kids dying for their vanity. Kind of the same thing?

-shrug- your guess is as good as mine. Its sure interesting to think about.

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by Natural Mommy*J

Ugh...that was a great visual, thanks.

Floss and nurse at the same time.