How do you handle needless crying and tantrums? - Page 2

[gabysmom617]

Had a long day at work today....I was confused, because for a second, I thought *I* had wrote the op about my 2.5 year old monkey....

Comisserating.

2 things: He does this the worst when he's really tired and has not been allowed to sleep out his whole nap. (I wrote a post complaining about my mom not letting him sleep...a whole 'nother topic right there... )

I read that mothering article. It make me look tantrums differently. Toddlers tend to get frustrated by a world of "no"'s and "that's not safe's" and "You're not big/strong/tall/old enough yet!'s" if that makes any sense....When you think about it, it's really frustrating.

SO.

I find that at least an hour per day of totally free time in a safe space with no "no!"'s "that's not safe's" and "you're not big/strong/tall/old enough yet's" goes a long way. That place happens to be the local park. (Just a big open space with trails, etc, no playgrounds or nothing like that..) I let him loose. Let him run and run and run and run. I try to spend the time not saying nothing to him negative or restrictive. I don't stop him from going to far, instead I sit there, and if I feel he's getting too far, I just get up and walk a little closer to him so I can see him and watch him. I make sure designate a good amount of time to this and let him run until he's actually ready to go home himself (or at least until he's ran enough and spent enough time out there until he's easier to round up to go...). I find that this has helped TREMENDOUSLY with the tantrums. As a matter of fact when he notice him starting up with the tantrums again, I know it's time to go to the park again. My aim is to take him every day, but I work a lot of hours due to the holidays, so I try to go twice per week, weather permitting.

I live where the weather is mild, so even on the coldest days, I can bundle him up and take him. Maybe you could find a neighborhood spot like this somewhere to take her? Maybe it could be a kiddie gym or community center or something like that if you live in some of those colder states?

Just a humble suggestion from a comisserator...

Oh! and one more thing. I find music EXTREMELY theraputic around the house to calm tantrums, too.

[angela&avery]

Simply state hte frusteration "I hear you crying. you are upset bc you dont want your diaper change, its frusterating to have to wait, it makes you angry when mom cant help you right away...." that kind of stuff, then continue on with what you are doing. Be very matter of fact, no big reactions whether you are angry or trying to be upbeat and destract.. dont do it, just state for her what you are seeing. Make her hear that you understand and know that she is upset. Then just keep doing what you have to do. Big reactions tend to exacerbate the situation I find. Except silliness, big silly reactions tend to work to dissipate a frusteration situation.

[EviesMom]

This morning, dd called out from my bedroom "Mama, just stay out there for a few minutes!" Of course, I went to see what she was up to--taping the dogs toy to my bedroom wall?! She did this over the summer, and was told not to do it. Clearly she knows she shouldn't be given the "don't look Mama" comment.

It's been a bad day and I did not feel like dealing with a tantrum, so I said fine, I'll help you get three pieces of masking tape (figured I'd just mitigate the tape on the wall) and leave you alone. Literally I just sat down again in the living room and got ds latched on and dd starts moaning/crying that she can't do it and wants me to do it for her. Uh... no, I'm not going to help you do something you aren't supposed to do as it is!

I'm not good at expressing emotions, so it's hard for me when she moans. I think "can't you be quietly sad?" Doesn't help that my mother says when dd cries "Cry louder, that will make it better?!?" Definitely not my mother's attitude when I was a child! And I think it's bunk anyway. Cry as loud as you need or as softly as you need, but dd does NOT need encouragement to be louder!

[EviesMom]

This morning, dd called out from my bedroom "Mama, just stay out there for a few minutes!" Of course, I went to see what she was up to--taping the dogs toy to my bedroom wall?! She did this over the summer, and was told not to do it. Clearly she knows she shouldn't be given the "don't look Mama" comment.

It's been a bad day and I did not feel like dealing with a tantrum, so I said fine, I'll help you get three pieces of masking tape (figured I'd just mitigate the tape on the wall). Literally I just sat down again in the living room and got ds latched on and dd starts moaning/crying that she can't do it and wants me to do it for her. Uh... no, I'm not going to help you do something you aren't supposed to do as it is!

I'm not good at expressing emotions, so it's hard for me when she moans. I think "can't you be quietly sad?" Doesn't help that my mother says when dd cries "Cry louder, that will make it better?!?" Definitely not my mother's attitude when I was a child! And I think it's bunk anyway. Cry as loud as you need or as softly as you need, but dd does NOT need encouragement to be louder!