People plan for this?

[wwisdomskr]

So, what's wrong with me that this 2 year age gap feels like hell on earth? I'm really hating it. Dd2's need/desire to nurse is insatiable. My nipples can't hold up to an hourly+ toddler latch. When she has to wait for me to help the baby latch on...or any other reason...she screams hysterically. I'm starting to hate being around her.

[renaissanceed]

I hear ya. DD is wanting to nurse all the time, and honestly, I'm not letting her, because if I did, I think our nursing relationship would be ending just about NOW.

Plus, she's decided to start screaming and biting whenever anything doesn't go her way (eg. she drops a piece of fruit on the floor and if it doesn't get picked up instantly or she puts on her socks and then wants them off and no one can help her take them off instantly). The screaming I can handle - the biting... ugh.

[Undercover Hippie]

(((HUGS))) mamas. I don't have a 2-year-age diff with mine, but I know there really are pros and cons to every age diff... maybe what you are experiencing now is the cons, that the 2yo is pretty little still and unable to be very patient or helpful when you need to deal with new baby, BUT later I am sure there will be so many pros like how close the kids will be, enjoying more of the same activities at once and playing together so well, etc. Hang in there!

PS, the newborn phase is always hard no matter what age your older kids are! My DS was almost 3 when DD was born and I couldn't stand him for a while, he seemed so big and demanding and annoying compared to my sweet new baby. I think that is normal even if we hate to admit it. I wonder if it is a survival of the species thing, so we protect the new, helpless baby over the slightly older child who is more able to fend for themselves...

[*Lindsey*]

s mamas. that has to be so hard. I can't relate as my older nurslings always self-wean when I'm pg.

I do, however, have to screaming infants. Which is overwhelming sometimes. So I have much sympathy!

[nolansmummy]

s. A three year gap is hard too. Now i can see why my mom waited 5 years between each of her kids.

[pixiedust]

hugs to you mamas! I felt bad but I weaned my 2 year old (well, she was 21 months then) about 4 months before I had Rohan. I just knew I couldn't handle nursing them both at the same time. Even now 4.5 months later she's asking to nurse. I'm pretty sure that's all I'd be doing right now if she was still nursing. I just know I couldn't handle that!

[ComfyCozy]

I have never tandem nursed, but if you look at my siggy I do have a little experience with the two year age gap.

Give it about a year and a half to two years--you'll see why people plan it that way. It's really hard in the beginning, especially when you don't have older ones around to help out, but you will get through this and watching the siblings' relationship blossom is going to be totally awesome, definitely worth the sacrifices you're making now.

DD1 is just going through a lot of adjustment right now herself, and she isn't benefitting a whole lot from this little needy baby, but when the baby can start playing with her and following her around, idolizing her big sister, it will improve.

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by renaissanceed

I hear ya. DD is wanting to nurse all the time, and honestly, I'm not letting her, because if I did, I think our nursing relationship would be ending just about NOW.

Plus, she's decided to start screaming and biting whenever anything doesn't go her way (eg. she drops a piece of fruit on the floor and if it doesn't get picked up instantly or she puts on her socks and then wants them off and no one can help her take them off instantly). The screaming I can handle - the biting... ugh.

This pretty much sums up what's going on here too. Except no biting (thank g-d!) just a lot of whining and the occasional screaming. I definitely tell ds1 that he has to wait to nurse when I can't handle it. I try to engage him in another snuggly activity if I can. We read a *lot* of books...

[pixiedust]

Originally Posted by ComfyCozy

I have never tandem nursed, but if you look at my siggy I do have a little experience with the two year age gap.

Give it about a year and a half to two years--you'll see why people plan it that way. It's really hard in the beginning, especially when you don't have older ones around to help out, but you will get through this and watching the siblings' relationship blossom is going to be totally awesome, definitely worth the sacrifices you're making now.

DD1 is just going through a lot of adjustment right now herself, and she isn't benefitting a whole lot from this little needy baby, but when the baby can start playing with her and following her around, idolizing her big sister, it will improve.

Yep, this is our 2nd 2 year gap and watching the older 2 I totally know why we did this Once the baby starts crawling around even you'll notice such a huge change for the better

[chrysalis]

i have never noticed before how annoying monsters, inc. can be w/ all the screaming and loudness in it. i usually love this movie but it is on too loud and i'm too lazy to get up to turn it down and megh won't turn it down for me. i feel like pulling my hair out........

anyway...i too have felt sooo annoyed w/ megh that i feel like i am not enjoying her company quite often. she's been great w/ the baby though i must say...this 5 yr difference seems to be good so far. but sometimes she does NOT want to wait like when she's in the bath and i'm nursing sheamas in bed and she wants to get out suddenly N-O-W and throws a fit in there while i have to try and remain relaxed continuing to nurse when i'm feeling stressed from her fitful whining and yelling and crying.............. whoa, the smilie line up/positioning has changed on here... : i hate feeling like i don't want megh around at those moments...its an awful feeling cuz i love her soooo much. but boy she can be something sometimes. very demanding and persistent. sometimes very rude.

you are not alone in feeling this re. your other child... sigh... i never thought i'd be so in love w/ my son. i'm sure he'll irk me too someday and visa versa. i can't imagine myself w/ children under a 5 yr age difference. i think i'd be going nutso. not to make you feel worse about your situation. i just know myself.

[gcgirl]

Sorry you're going through this mamas. I was just thinking myself how hard it must be to have a newborn and a toddler. I've decided when we have a new baby, I'm totally splurging on a post-partum doula for at least two weeks. I don't know how else to do it!

[wwisdomskr]

The 5 year gap btwn dd1 and dd2 was much easier for us...but, it was challenging in its own ways. Adding a new member of the family is just a big adjustment no matter what, I suppose.

Our postpartum doula started yesterday and will be coming 3 times a week. I'm trying not to think about the money right now.

[lisarussell]

I don't have as much exp with the 2 yr gap as Celeste does (10. 8. 6. 4. 2 and new) I think that's hilarious. My girls are 14, 11, 7, 4, 2 and new. We only tandem nursed ONCE and I remember having NO postpartum booby adjustment period, so nursing the baby was a cinch. At the time, I said it was so worth it to nurse through pregnancy because the baby's sucking didn't traumatize my boobs. My 2 yr old weaned herself during this pg and nursing was so annoying that I was glad she thought it was yucky. I also made sure she knew when I was in pain - so part of her nursing might have been because she was sick of me saying it hurt. She's been concerned with the baby nursing because it totally hurts, and I told her the baby has no teeth that's why she has to nurse. When she saw my nipple bleeding, she gave the baby a suspicious look. "She bite you, mommy?"

Make sure you're drinking plenty of water and keep on taking your vitamins, and eat like a pig. I hope this stage passes quickly (don';t they all?)

[cheeseRjedi]

Yeah it's been rough but everyone tried to prepare me for it being horrible so in comparison I think we are doing well. It has been hard because DD has had a fever/cough for a while and she is super clingy. It's hard telling her to wait while I nurse all the time.

[De-lovely]

[mothragirl]

right there with ya! my 2 yo wants to nurse more than the newborn, and if i tell her no she freaks out. there has been a lot of crying in this house the last couple of weeks. i also have A TON of guilt over not being able to give dd1 all of my attention. i can't wait for it to get easier. my boyfriend has been invaluable! he has been helping with dd1 so much.

[cheeseRjedi]

Just wanted to add that I think all you tandem nursing mamas are superwoman! I would not be able to handle it.

[wwisdomskr]

Originally Posted by lisarussell

Make sure you're drinking plenty of water and keep on taking your vitamins, and eat like a pig. I hope this stage passes quickly (don';t they all?)

Too true...

And, hey, I'll take any excuse I can to eat like a pig!

[LittleLlama]

OMG, I can't imagine DS still nursing right now!!! As it was, when he weaned while I was pg, it was only twice a day but I jsut cna't imagine two little suckers :

[free2be]

My age gap is 18 months. I agree, I see why my mom has a 5 year age cap between us. It is so hard right now. I just keep telling myself that in about a year they will play so well together that I will be happy that I they are close in age...I wish I could fast forward the time. But I'm trying to make a conscience effort to enjoy this time because one day I'll wish they were this age again.