Pain during sex explained!

[jrose_lee]

I am posting this hoping that it might help women who do a search in the future. I have seen posts in the past from women wondering why they have pain during intercourse after pregnancy and childbirth. I also was one of these women.

It was suggested to me that I go to a physical therapist specializing in pelvic therapy and women's problems. This wonderful MDC mama recommended that I have her check if I had scar tissue from the birth and have her massage it out.

Well, that was terrific advice (and I recommend checking into that as well) but it turned out it WASN'T my problem.

Here is what was causing the pain and the feeling of "not fitting":

The pregnancy/birth had caused my entire pelvis to come out of allignment. This was causing a nerve to become irritated and inflamed. Dh was unable to "fit" because of how my pelvis was now tilted.

Luckily for me, I was not in constant pain, but only during sex. My physical therapise told that there are some women who are in constant pain. Some for their entire lives, and they never figure out that it is their pelvis allignment.

Anyway, I've had 2 appointments and my pelvis is back in place Now we're just working on getting my muscles to relax and realize that they don't need to tighten up anymore.

I hope that this post can help someone in the future searching for answers. This type of problem can wreak havoc on a marriage. And it can cause emotional problems as well.

Do a search in your area for a physical therapist specializing in pelvic therapy.

This is who I've been seeing
http://www.homerphysicaltherapy.com/

And here is a website for finding a pt
www.apta.org
Look for someone that says they specialize in orthopedics, manual therapy and or women's health

[Ambrose]

I'm totally forwarding this to a friend. She's been having trouble for about a year.

[JessicaS]

There are multiple things that can cause this.

Pelvic floor therapy can help some.

Another possible cause is interstitial cystitis

IME this can be a wide range of things, the best thing to do is to not give up when one thing doesn't help, keep looking for a solution.

[jrose_lee]

I'm just posting an update....I'm finally better! Dh and I "tried" again and there was NO pain! No pain what-so-ever!!! I feel like a normal wife again. And now we can think about trying to concieve again. AND try to avoid this again in the future now that we know I have loose ligaments!

[ZoeyZoo]

Does anyone know if a chiro could do this too? I've been having this issue while pregnant but I know my pelvis is out of alignment and I've had a lot of hip pain.

Another thing that I found out can cause it is yeast overgrowth/yeast infection.

[silverspook]

DH's circumcision was our problem. The pain went away 100% after he started restoring his foreskin.

[JessicaS]

Originally Posted by ZoeyZoo

Does anyone know if a chiro could do this too? I've been having this issue while pregnant but I know my pelvis is out of alignment and I've had a lot of hip pain.

Yeah a chiro could do that

[dogmom327]

Originally Posted by silverspook

DH's circumcision was our problem. The pain went away 100% after he started restoring his foreskin.

If this will tread into forbidden territory, just ignore me but...I'm curious...how did that cause you pain? I can see how it might be problematic for him, but for you? I would never have thought to consider that, although certainly a lot of us could potentially have that issue.

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by dogmom327

If this will tread into forbidden territory, just ignore me but...I'm curious...how did that cause you pain? I can see how it might be problematic for him, but for you? I would never have thought to consider that, although certainly a lot of us could potentially have that issue.

A foreskin sort of stays in place in the vagina and the penis moves inside it -- not entirely, but moreso than for circumcised men -- creating less friction. And because the glans are normally covered they tend to be more sensitive, leading to a need for less vigorous stimulation. Additionally my understanding is that the foreskin creates natural lubricants as well. Less need for vigorous motion plus a sort of a natural buffer against vigorous motion plus more natural lubricant from the man's side of things can add up to less possibility for discomfort, small tears, etc., especially when a woman's own natural lubricants are reduced after birth, menopause, and so on.

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by Liquesce

A foreskin sort of stays in place in the vagina and the penis moves inside it -- not entirely, but moreso than for circumcised men -- creating less friction. And because the glans are normally covered they tend to be more sensitive, leading to a need for less vigorous stimulation. Additionally my understanding is that the foreskin creates natural lubricants as well. Less need for vigorous motion plus a sort of a natural buffer against vigorous motion plus more natural lubricant from the man's side of things can add up to less possibility for discomfort, small tears, etc., especially when a woman's own natural lubricants are reduced after birth, menopause, and so on.

Well put. This issue comes up occasionally on the CAC forum... Of course, it seems difficult to figure out which issue it could be--and then again it could also be a combination.

Good for your dh silverspook for being open to the option of restoration. I'm afraid for me that seems to tread into unforbidden territory-- or at least it does because I'm not 100% sure that is the only issue we are dealing with.

Jessica

[jrose_lee]

[QUOTE=ZoeyZoo;11023604]Does anyone know if a chiro could do this too? I've been having this issue while pregnant but I know my pelvis is out of alignment and I've had a lot of hip pain.
QUOTE]

My physical therapist who specializes in pelvic therapy told me under NO conditions should I see a chiro for it. She said it would do more harm than good. A misalligned pelvis is actually more of a muscle issue. The pelvis becomes misalligned and then the muscles start trying to compensate for it. They have to be retrained even after the pelvis has been put back in place.

I hope this isn't TMI, but my pelvic therapist had to work on me from the "inside" and press on the muscles so they would release. The things she did...I know no chiro could ever know how to do. She worked miricles on me.

[thixle]

Originally Posted by silverspook

DH's circumcision was our problem. The pain went away 100% after he started restoring his foreskin.

Same for me-- well, it became a problem after the episiotomy. He has been restoring for a few months and that little bit of slack skin makes a WORLD of difference. It's almost "cushiony" now, where it was ripping before.

My physical therapist who specializes in pelvic therapy told me under NO conditions should I see a chiro for it. She said it would do more harm than good. A misalligned pelvis is actually more of a muscle issue. The pelvis becomes misalligned and then the muscles start trying to compensate for it. They have to be retrained even after the pelvis has been put back in place.

Um... that's what chiros do- they readjust the bones, and keep doing it until the muscles/ligaments have time to heal in a new position, which keeps the bones in place and "evens out" the muscles/ligaments... so the soft tissues aren't overcompensating. Most MDs (allopathic practitioners) have a real hatred for chiros... so I DO believe he/she said that.

I have to say, this is the first time I have heard of a "physical therapist specializing in pelvic therapy"--- how the heck did you find one?

[jrose_lee]

Originally Posted by thixle

Same for me-- well, it became a problem after the episiotomy. He has been restoring for a few months and that little bit of slack skin makes a WORLD of difference. It's almost "cushiony" now, where it was ripping before.


Um... that's what chiros do- they readjust the bones, and keep doing it until the muscles/ligaments have time to heal in a new position, which keeps the bones in place and "evens out" the muscles/ligaments... so the soft tissues aren't overcompensating. Most MDs (allopathic practitioners) have a real hatred for chiros... so I DO believe he/she said that.

I have to say, this is the first time I have heard of a "physical therapist specializing in pelvic therapy"--- how the heck did you find one?

hmmmmmmmmm.... well she said seeing a chiro would do more harm than good for me (with the misalligned pelvis). Maybe a chiro could help others though. I don't know that much about it.

If you DO want to find a pt specializing in this search here. Use "women's health" as the area of specialization
http://www.apta.org/AM/Template.cfm?...daptsearch.cfm
I think you can search on this site as well
http://www.womenshealthapta.org/

[jrose_lee]

Originally Posted by thixle

Same for me-- well, it became a problem after the episiotomy. He has been restoring for a few months and that little bit of slack skin makes a WORLD of difference. It's almost "cushiony" now, where it was ripping before.

I've been wanting dh to restore, but it is tough to know which route to go. If you don't mind my asking (and if you do just ignore me!)....how is your dh accomplishing this? Did he buy one of the many gadgets? Dh is not sure how to get started. I've visited the restoration threads here on MDC, but it's confusing and tough to know where to begin.

[thixle]

First of all- those links were very helpful! I may need an *ahem* interior adjustment after all. I've got a shooting pain down one side now that I'm pregnant again. This sounds like it could help.

Originally Posted by jrose_lee

I've been wanting dh to restore, but it is tough to know which route to go. If you don't mind my asking (and if you do just ignore me!)....how is your dh accomplishing this? Did he buy one of the many gadgets? Dh is not sure how to get started. I've visited the restoration threads here on MDC, but it's confusing and tough to know where to begin.

I love being able to spread the knowledge of restoration!!!
He/we have been doing manual stretching. Dh had a very tight circ, and was left with no slack skin, even flaccid, : so... none of the devices would work anyway. Taping was just too intensive for him. But, Doug's Manual Restoration Site, methods 1&2, have done absolute wonders... And we were able to spend "intimate" time together without dreading the pain of actual intercourse. Basically, he tugs in the shower in the morning, and sometimes, I help at night 10-20 minutes twice a day, or so. It was such a no-brainer, "honey, can I play with your penis?" That had him completely sold on restoring, you know, since we hadn't had non-painful sex in over a year at that point... anyway, by 2 months of restoring, there was a big difference. Oh, and the spot where his frenulum is supposed to be : is becoming more sensitive, yet at the same time, he can last longer-- absolutely a win/win situation.

[gcgirl]

Originally Posted by ZoeyZoo

Does anyone know if a chiro could do this too? I've been having this issue while pregnant but I know my pelvis is out of alignment and I've had a lot of hip pain.

Maybe, but if you're also having muscle tightness, you may need to have trigger points worked, and not all chiros do that, apparently. That's why someone who specializes in pelvic floor dysfunction is important.