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Hello, My Name is Lisa

post #1 of 89
Thread Starter 
and I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, severe, Attention Deficit Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Dependent Personality Disorder.

I was hospitalized for five days on a Level 2 Psych ward after taking a large quantity of Xanax, hoping to end everything. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on the day, I am still here.

I have five children who need me.
I have Christmas gifts to purchase... a Christmas tree to decorate, a house to clean.

My husband is picking up my slack, but he's getting exhausted trying to do it all. I've been home since Tuesday... but don't want to do diddly squat except for hide under the covers or go online. Both are clearly avoidance habits. Anything but face my reality. I can't handle my reality.
post #2 of 89
I couldn't read and not post.
post #3 of 89
oh mama.
post #4 of 89

Wishing you strength and peace.
post #5 of 89
We're here when you need us.
post #6 of 89
I love you, Lisa. You call me any time you need me, sweetheart.
post #7 of 89
I am so sorry that you are struggling. I wish I could do something to help. I will be keeping you in my thoughts, hoping that things will look up soon.
post #8 of 89
Hi Lisa, ((((((hugs))))))) to you!!

Please take good care of yourself this month! Try not to stress about Christmas!
The most important thing is that your family is together for the holiday! Your little ones must be so happy that you are home safe!

Look into simple food, simple presents and decorations - there are lots of ideas and links in the Frugality section. Are any of your dc's old enough to help with cleaning, baking, wrapping, shopping lists?

I don't have advice, just good wishes! God bless you!

post #9 of 89
Peace and healing mama.......
post #10 of 89

post #11 of 89
You are in my thoughts!

I wish you well in your journey to health. There are many here who will support and help you. Lean on them! The wisdom of women is very strong!
post #12 of 89
Love to you!! xoxo
post #13 of 89
post #14 of 89
I've dealt with clinical depression myself, I know how hard it is, that feeling of being trapped in the pain. Know that it is possible to come out the other side. Please don't hesitate to call on us for support.
post #15 of 89
I've also dealt with some pretty serious stuff, feel free to pm me if you want to talk. We are here for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers
post #16 of 89
take care of yourself. we have missed you.
post #17 of 89
Peace and love to you
post #18 of 89
post #19 of 89

Your gift to your family is that you're still here to love them, and their gift to you is their love for you. Nothing under a Christmas tree can compare with that, so no need to stress yourself trying. Concentrate on feeling better and building coping skills.

Forget cleaning. Everything gets dirty again anyway.

Forget cards. People will understand.

Don't worry about the tree. I don't know how old your kids are, but I bet they can decorate it themselves. Don't worry about making things look like a magazine. Kids don't care!

Don't worry about baking. Buy the Pillsbury stuff and let the kids roll, cut, and decorate their own cookies if they must. It will be okay.

We both know I'd be lying if I said kids don't care about presents. They do. Put your energy here to make Christmas morning happy for them.

I am so happy that you survived. Prayers and best wishes to you.
post #20 of 89
Oh, Lisa. I'm sorry life is so tough for your right now. I've been where you are, if you want to talk...

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