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Well it finally happened...  

post #1 of 27
12/9/07 at 11:41pm
Thread Starter 
I was semi-harassed and like a lot of mama's have said, I was pretty much rendered speechless!

I was in Wal-Mart with my 6 week DD, my 3 y/o son, and my DH. We were buying some things for Christmas and I was carrying Aldria (we'd carried her in in the bucket since she was sleeping when we got there, plus it was like 15* outside today, brrrr) and I noticed she'd lost a sock. So off we go to the baby department to buy her a pair of socks (I tried to backtrack, but I'd been wandering aimlessly for a while so who knows where I'd lost it)

We're in the baby department, I find a package of socks, open it up and pop one on her. Then she decides she's hungry (she's 6 weeks old) so I lift up my nursing shirt (the double layer kind) and pop her on and we go on our merry way. We hadn't taken 3 steps when an elderly female employee (Goodness help me if I caught her name) asks if I'd like to go somewhere more comfortable. I thanked her, but told her I was fine. She again says that I can go in the fitting room, there is plenty of space for my older boy to run around while I sit in there with the baby. I giver her a puzzled look and say "Well, Daddy is here so he'll help me with James." and we try to walk away AGAIN. And she reiterates that I can go somewhere more comfortable and then she says "Some girls sit over on those benches, right in front of God and everybody!" *insert shocked/disgusted look here* and this is where my poor sleep deprived postpartum brain finally catches on that she's NOT just being nice. : I give her a look and say "We are fine, thank you. We had better get going." I squeeze between her and the display and we leave.

I should have said something about my legal rights, I should have complained to management, but honestly I was so flabbergasted and taken aback I couldn't even think straight.

I've NEVER had this happen to me before and I've NIP'ed plenty. No one in public has ever given me any guff...I can't believe that I let this woman bully me like that and didn't even realize she was being like that. It wasn't until we walked away and DH pointed out to me that I fully caught on.

Darn sleep deprivation...

I plan on calling that wal-mart and probably corporate tomorrow.
post #2 of 27
12/10/07 at 12:17am
Sorry that happened to you -- what a nasty passive-aggressive approach she took with you! But honestly, it sounds to me like you handled it very well. You did NOT let her bully you into a dressing room out of sight. You declined to cooperate with her interference. You replied with poise and grace and you stuck to your guns.

I think it's natural to feel more angry as it sinks in. But don't beat yourself up -- you did great!
post #3 of 27
12/10/07 at 12:53am
I think you did great, too! Songbh summed it up nicely - poise and grace!

If you do follow-up with a phone call, let us know how it goes.

( I am very impressed with the nursing while walking thing!)
post #4 of 27
12/10/07 at 1:08am
Thread Starter 
Thanks mama's! I guess it would have looked bad if I'd thrown a great big grown up tantrum. LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatioGardener View Post
( I am very impressed with the nursing while walking thing!)
Aldria is only 12lbs (6 weeks old) so she's still fairly portable. It requires both hands but DH was there to corral the big kid so I didn't need an extra hand. LOL
post #5 of 27
12/10/07 at 1:12am
Right in front of God...?


laughup:


I am seriously in tears over that. Because God can't see INSIDE the bathroom at Wal-Mart, he can only see the benches.

Sorry she was rude
post #6 of 27
12/10/07 at 1:29am
It sounds like you handled yourself well.

Yeah, the whole "right in front of G-d" comment was pretty weird- um, hello G-d's the one who put milk in breasts instead of elbows!!!
post #7 of 27
12/10/07 at 1:30am
Thread Starter 
Yeah...I didn't quite get that. Last I checked God was pretty much everywhere so I'm sure He's seen me do a lot more things than nurse in Walmart...

She said I could go sit in the fitting room...yeah because the 2 foot wide hard wooden bench with an ice cold mirror to lean back on...now THATS comfortable. Whatever...

ETA- I think the 'in front of God and everybody!' is an Iowa saying, I've heard it a lot when people are doing something 'indecent' in public like if a person were walking down the street half dressed people would say "And she was walking around with her butt cheeks showing, right in front of God and everybody!"
post #8 of 27
12/10/07 at 2:09am
Quote:
Originally Posted by PatioGardener View Post

( I am very impressed with the nursing while walking thing!)
If you get your arms hooked right, it's pretty easy to do it using a cradle hold.

I don't do it much anymore (normally, just from downstairs family room to bedroom), but le babe is now 24lbs. When he was smaller, I'd do it wherever. A couple of months ago, I held a conversation with a Target worker which included walking around a department, and I don't think she realized that I was nursing the kid until she was walking away :P
post #9 of 27
12/10/07 at 3:48am
"You think this is magical? You should have seen what I did in front of God and everybody to MAKE the baby!"
post #10 of 27
12/10/07 at 3:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance View Post
"You think this is magical? You should have seen what I did in front of God and everybody to MAKE the baby!"

laughup
post #11 of 27
12/10/07 at 9:11am
Wow, people are rude and ignorant. I wish great comebacks were always at the tip of my tongue, but I never think of them until later, because like you, I get so flabbergasted in the moment that they just won't come to me.

Hugs for you having to deal with stupid people. When you call the store/corporate, make sure to have a copy of Iowa's BF laws on hand to quote. Make sure to make it clear that she didn't just offer you a more comfortable place, she persisted in making you feel UNcomfortable for feeding your infant when and where you had a legal right to do so. And let them know that she talked about previous customers in a disparaging manner. They probably won't like that.

Good luck! Let us know how it turns out.
post #12 of 27
12/10/07 at 11:39am
I totally would have marched my butt over to those benches and nursed there : But I'm antisocial like that.
post #13 of 27
12/10/07 at 11:58am
I'm sorry you had to deal with such an ignorant person.

I'm glad you are going to call and complain today.
post #14 of 27
12/10/07 at 11:59am
Thread Starter 
Eh, it was a pretty pansy ass response.

I told him I was harrassed by an employee for nursing my daughter. He *kind* of appologized, asked her name (didn't catch it) then asked where it happened and said he'd address it with them.

I asked him if he was aware that harassing a nursing mother was illegal in Iowa, and that Iowa law extends protection for nursing mothers and he said he was and he would address it with his employees.

Meh, whatever. I'm on hold with corporate right now.
post #15 of 27
12/10/07 at 12:37pm
Tell him Pansy Ass responses are not acceptable, ask what is he going to do about it? This woman needs to be called out on her bad behavior! Good for you for following up with the phone call
post #16 of 27
12/10/07 at 1:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
It sounds like you handled yourself well.

Yeah, the whole "right in front of G-d" comment was pretty weird- um, hello G-d's the one who put milk in breasts instead of elbows!!!

But God put them on the front for that very purpose???? What is it with Walmart??? Seems every other week some employee is doing the same thing.
post #17 of 27
12/10/07 at 2:09pm
Thread Starter 
Corporate was REALLY nice, I spoke to a really nice woman, she was great.

Said that that was unacceptable and that she was really sorry it happened and that the employee was off her nutter because of course I have to feed my baby : and she asked what the manager did, I told her he was very dismissive of my problem and basically didn't really apologize or anything and basically just told me he'd discuss it with her and that was it. She said that wasn't acceptable either.

It's on file with walmart corporate so hopefully it goes somewhere

Although, I hope they just discuss it with their employees, I'd feel like garbage if I got that woman fired right before Christmas...
post #18 of 27
12/10/07 at 2:54pm
I think you did just fine! And good for you for calling to complain about this. It was totally unacceptable!

I've nursed on *those benches* at our WalMart, in a town where I've NEVER seen anyone else NIP, and oooooh the looks I get. No one's dared to say anything yet though.
post #19 of 27
12/10/07 at 3:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by amandaleigh37 View Post
I've nursed on *those benches* at our WalMart, in a town where I've NEVER seen anyone else NIP, and oooooh the looks I get. No one's dared to say anything yet though.
Me too. Not that I ever go to Wal-Mart though.
I also have shopped while breastfeeding with all of mine (even now with my 13 mth old , *the horror*) I have gotten some evil looks. :



Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance
"You think this is magical? You should have seen what I did in front of God and everybody to MAKE the baby!"
post #20 of 27
12/10/07 at 3:13pm
But she didn't have a problem with you opening unpaid for merchandise and putting it on your baby? Wow.
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