Why do moms want THEIR OB to catch the baby so bad?

[Gilby]

I mean, I hear all the time how they make their doctor promise they'll be there or freak out when he isn't able to make it to the birth. I'm not judging, I'm just curious.

I understand this with a midwife because they are with you throughout labor but the OB usually walks in with about 2 seconds to spare. Seems like they should be taking appointments with L&D nurses if they want someone familiar there for support.

Anyone know or been there yourself?

[rmzbm]

Just cuz they walk in at the end doesn't make them a stranger...mom's typically spend 9 mos. getting to know this person & understandably don't want a total stranger there, which a L&D nurse WOULD be. I am having a section & STRONGLY want my last OB there, I like him alot & trust him. I don't want another OB there. Sucks for me as he won't be there, lol, but it IS a relationship.

[attachedmamaof3]

IMO, it's because sometimes you need to have someone you trust at your birth. For me, it was DP. For other moms, it's their MW. Still others, the OB. You want to have someone there who you feel like has your (and your baby's) best interests at heart. Someone you know....

[Nikki Christina]

well.my ob left to go on vacation when i was 36 weeks with my last baby & didnt come back till 38 weeks. freaked me out..since my first 2 where born during my 36th week.

i had to go into the hospital once during the time she was still gone & i did not like the doctor who was covering for her at all! he had a bad attitude!

i was most worried about him trying something i didnt agree to..cutting me..using forceps or a vacumn..
i figured i might tear..what if he stitched me to tight?
plus..my doctor had ok'd it for me to have more people then what hospital policy usually allows..
my first 2 births i had my mom,my sil & my husband & my last birth she said she had no problem with my 4 year old being present..i doubt this other doctor would have liked that.

i liked my doctor ..we built a good relationship over the 9 months of my pregnanices & i had her as a ob for 10 years! she felt like a friend..
unfortunely she's not my doctor this time..because she moved several states away..

my 1st & 3rd births she was there alot more then 2 seconds..she was in & out the room & made sure everything was fine..i was ok.
she got me a new nurse my 1stdelivery..the 1st one i had was rude to me..acted like i was some dumb knocked up 18 year old.
my mom had complained at the nurses station & was told "sorry..thats the nurse she's gonna have"
my mom located my doctor several minutes later..told her & then a few mins later i had a new much nicer nurse

my 2nd delivery..well..yeah..she only was there for the last 2 seconds..cause i showed up 9-10 cms dilated & delivered within mins..she rushed from her home .
i would have been ok with the nurse delivery that time..she was all suited up ready to go.
but i had pretty bad tears.. im glad it was my doctor who i trust to fix me up..thats a pretty important place!

oh & my last 2 births..she was the one who told the nurses no hep b shot. they didnt question her. & never meantioned it to me..i think theres less chance they will try to fight it if coming from the doctor..
not that i would back down..its just nice to not have to deal with it when you just give birth.

[bobandjess99]

I think it is just like you said...it is like the relationship you would develop with a midwife...and while "we" might find it to be a poor birth provider relationship, for most women, it is the only birth provider relationship they know, and to them, the relationship they have with "their" doctor is just as precious to them, as, for example, it might be to a woman with her homebirth midwife or even to some people's dh/dp. Having "their" ob there is just as important to most women as having "their" midwife, or "their" dh there....I'm a UC'er, and i'll tell you what, I certainly don't want a substitute DH there for my upcoming birth!!!!!
Also, as has been pointed out, lots of women take time and plan out their births, develop relationships with "their" doctor, such that it really IS similar to developing a relationship with a midwife, etc....Plus, your doctor, in a hospital setting really Is "in charge" s/he can basically tell the nurses to stuff it, etc, and so having "your" doctor on your side really is the best defense against possible unwanted/unpleasant people, etc....it is a legitimate relationship, with a lot of the trustbuilding that would go on with a different type of care provider.

[Red Sonja]

I can understand why they would want a care provider there that they know. When I was pregnant with DS I saw 2 CNMs and an OB in a practice together and knew all of them. When I was hospitalized for preterm labor at 29 weeks I had the on-call OB and did not like her at all. She was condescending and gave me the roughest, most painful vaginal exam I had ever had in my life. I definitely would not have wanted her attending my birth.

[MrsT]

I don't want any other OB at my labor/birth - I picked mine very carefully because he is a self-proclaimed "dinosaur" who thinks everyone should have a natural birth. (Not all OBs are pro-intervention as I have discovered) I'd be afraid that another OB would do things or push me to do things I don't agree with.

Also, it would be weird to have someone I've never met "catch" my baby. If my DH isn't doing it, I'd want it to be someone I'd met before!!!

[Kappa]

I think the model of OB/GYN practices needs to change. I think groups of OBs with similar philosophies need to click up, so a woman is not going to a particular OB but a practice of OBs and she will be guaranteed that one of the OBs are there during her labor. This is how my CNM practice is set up. I don't know who will be at my birth, and don't really need to know because I've met all the CNMs and their practice philosophy is the same, and they are led by one CNM "director." Sure, I like the well-seasoned, well-spoken director over the bubbly baby catcher, but at the end of the day I know they all share information with each other about my concerns and my concerns are addressed at my next appointment as if we're all working together, kwim? I think this model would work well for OBs, and would prevent so much scheduling.

[Lynski]

I wanted "my" OB because I'd met a few others in his practice and wasn't enthusiastic about their bedside manner or their methods of practice. Turns out my OB was on vacation, and I ended up with someone who was not the best.

A friend also had the same practice, she was hoping for our OB becuase he was willing to try and turn her 2nd twin after delivering the first. His partners were not, and one wasn't willing to try vag delivery at all regardless of their position.

[philomom]

I had a midwife practice and had bonded more strongly with one midwife over the other. I teased Connie for years that I only went into labor because she was "on duty" those nights. Yes, she did get to catch both babies.

[lyttlewon]

Sometimes you pick a practitioner because of how they think, how you click with them, whether or not they agree with your birth choices. If a person is making life affecting decisions about my care I want to KNOW the person and them to know what I want. I wouldn't trust just anyone with a degree with being my doctor so I would be PISSED if someone else came in to handle things. It isn't about "labor support". That is what my mom, DH and MIL are for. A medical practitioner makes much larger decisions than simply "catching the baby".

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by Gilby

I understand this with a midwife because they are with you throughout labor but the OB usually walks in with about 2 seconds to spare. Seems like they should be taking appointments with L&D nurses if they want someone familiar there for support.

Anyone know or been there yourself?

This is not always the case. My Dr. was there for me the entire time I was in labor with my DD, she sat with me and a nurse for the entire 2 1/2 hours that I pushed. I trust her like no other and would not have wanted anyone else with me that night. My nurse was fabulous as well - she stayed after her shift had ended so that she could be with me until my daughter was born.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I think the greater question would be, why would a woman want any OB to catch their baby? Of course there are some great OBs out there but at least where I live, they are few and far between. Most are surgeons FIRST and FOREMOST. But, if I'd hired one specific OB and gotten to know her at least a little bit during pregnancy (you know, in those 5 minute appointments), I'd rather have that person than a stranger staring at my crotch.

[crsta33]

I've heard a theory that women "fall in love" with the person who catches their baby b/c of the outpouring of oxytocin after the birth. It "bonds" you to the ppl close by during/after the birth. I think that's how women can "love" their OB even after a really rough birth, esp if she feels like the OB "saved" her or the baby.

But women also get attached before birth happens.

Christa

[Pastrydemon]

Originally Posted by crsta33

I've heard a theory that women "fall in love" with the person who catches their baby b/c of the outpouring of oxytocin after the birth. It "bonds" you to the ppl close by during/after the birth. I think that's how women can "love" their OB even after a really rough birth, esp if she feels like the OB "saved" her or the baby.

But women also get attached before birth happens.

Christa

Don't know about others but this did NOT happen to me w/ my last birth (w/ a midwife).

To answer the original question. I actually like my OB a lot. She's the only one I could find that mostly shares my philosophy of birth as a natural life event. She's very big on waiting until the cord stops pulsing before cutting, she's very in favor of doulas attending, she actually listens to me, etc. I'm hoping she's there (she has no partners) for the birth. She doesn't spend quite as much time w/ me that the midwives did but she's all I have right now. Health ins. won't cover a homebirth for me, I have a medical complication that risks me out for most midwives AND the city I live in has banned midwives from practicing in hospitals. This OB is the closest I can get to a midwife. (she used to work w/ midwives when they WERE allowed in hospitals here and learned a lot from them).

[sunnmama]

I can think of lots of reasons.

I know what to expect from my ob. I know him--both good and bad. No surprises in the most vulnerable of moments.

My ob knows what to expect from me. Again, both good and bad. No surprises.

If he weren't there, both he and I would have felt like "he missed it". He wants to be there! (and I want people there who want to be there!)

And, a small factor , there is a familiar face in the pictures I have a pic of my ob holding ds up, seconds after birth. I remember him saying "get the camera, dad!" and dh snapping the pic. I *know* that face (well, from what I can see of it behind the protective gear, lol). That is the man that caught both of my babies He is written into the story of our family, and it feels good to have "picked" him.

[Twinklefae]

Well, I can tell you that not having "your" doctor there can be upsetting. My doctor was ten minutes too late. The doctor who caught my baby introduced herself to me while stiching me up. Bleah.

[Joyster]

My doctor is actually our family doctor so we've known her for a lot longer than the 9 months. I'm a sexual abuse survivor and really like consistency when it comes to my healthcare, especially below the equator. I only chose people I feel comfortable with. She is also someone I have built a friendly professional relationship with, she knows my needs and preferences, we have discussed them oodles of times, it's not something I really want to have to re-explain while in labour. She's someone I trust not to take a knife to me at the first sign of anything out of the ordinary and I really like her.

I don't think any of those are bad or trivial things.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

My doctor with my last pregnancy stayed with me off and on throughout my labor, so not all doctors just show up at the last minute.

My first pregnancy ended with the on-call doctor and because of that, it also ended in a BS "emergency" c-section. My doctor would not have done the things to me that caused the labor to end that way.

[Kitten]

If women really want their care provider at a planned hosp. birth they should look into family practice docs. We see family practice docs and had I chosen a hospital birth, one of the docs I talked to there said she caught 80% of her own patients' births - said it would be higher but she had a 3 year old and couldn't always find someone to watch her last minute.