who here just had their 2nd LO, and completely lost???

[adon]

DD is just 2 weeks old and DS#1 is VERY VERY active alert/spirited/high needs...what ever you want to call it. i am completely lost and wondering how things are going to get back to some state of "normal". i just figured out how to keep DS#1 under control before DD was born, and now i feel like i have to start all over. it's my first week by myself and i don't know how i am going to do it!! i had my mom the first week and DH on and off last week. is anyone else dealing with this or has dealt with it?? how do you get thru it w/o doing "damage" especially with all the hormones and mood swings??

[MamaHippo]

No advice, but wanted to give you a . I am in your exact same boat - My DS has always been my constant companion, my buddy, because he is very high need. We were in a pretty good place when I got pregnant. Now we have a 2 week old DD, and I had a traumatic birth with a c-section, and I am having a hard time trying to heal, recover, care for the newborn and care for/regulate my son. My DH went back to work on Saturday, so I'm on day 3 of being alone. I am hoping you get some good advice I can use too!

[renaissanceed]

We are going through much the same thing but things are getting better, as my second is 5 weeks old now and I've been on my own for 3 1/2 weeks.

Although my oldest is younger than yours, what's been helping me is the following:

1. Make sure I think of a few activities to do the day before so I can plan for them. This might be a simple as 'put up the Christmas tree' or 'paint fingernails' or as complicated as 'let's bake muffins' or 'make playdough' (and then play with it). If I have two 'planned' activities, no matter how short, I find that the rest of the time gets filled in a bit better.

2. Although I wear DS most of the day, I also try to let him nap in his swing or bouncy chair at least once so that DD and I can do more active things, like I can bounce her or play Ring around the Rosie or we can 'exercise' (jumping jacks, stretches, giddy-up moving, chasing, rolling around on the floor).

3. We try to get out of the house once every day. Depending on where you live and whether you have access to a car, or how the weather is, this may or may not be as feasible. I have got a big list of all the free or cheap playgroups in the areas of the city that are close to us, and I make frequent use of these. On days when that's not going to happen, we go grocery shopping. One of these days, I hope to make it swimming or to the Children's Museum. Getting out of the house occupies at least 2 hours of our time between getting ready, getting there, doing our thing there, and getting ready to go home, and then getting undressed at home.

The more occupied DD is, the happier she is.

This may or may not work for you, but it's working for us right now. And don't forget, 2 wks PP is a huge adjustment still for everyone. We are still adjusting here and probably will be for some time to come.

[Curlita]

Lots of good hints from Ed... the only thing I can add is to try to take it one minute at a time as far as getting everyone's needs met. It's easy to worry about the whole day yawning out in front of you... just try to focus on what needs to happen in the next 5 minutes.

[renaissanceed]

Hey Erica, I love that you called me Ed! Thay's what DH & a few of my closest friends call me & I'm always happy to hear it. Just gets a bit confusing when my Dad - also Ed - is in the house.

[LittleLlama]

Same boat as Ed (now I feel like a shameless copycat ) Titus JUST turned two and the more occupied he is, the happier everyone is. I'm having a really hard time while Bridgette needs to nurse though because Titus is into everyfreakingthing. It seems like she can't ever get a full session without me having to jump up and intervene in whatever Titus has decded to break or climb on... and boob pulls out of her mouth (ow) and she gets hosed in the face.

Havign a lot more trouble with my back and wearing baby this time too. The sling just gets painful after not very long and the Beco is just cumbersome to get around with a fast, aggressive toddler.

[Curlita]

Originally Posted by renaissanceed

Hey Erica, I love that you called me Ed! Thay's what DH & a few of my closest friends call me & I'm always happy to hear it. Just gets a bit confusing when my Dad - also Ed - is in the house.

I tend to think of you (and most mamas) by user name... Renaissance Ed. And the Ren part is too long, so you're Ed to me.

And it's ironic that I tried to post anything helpful on this thread and have proceeded to have one of my worst parent-of-two days yet, in spite of the presence of a post partum doula. : I am in need of large amounts of chocolate.

[StacieM]

This isn't my 2nd, but I'm also feeling like it's taking some time to get back to "normal" - adding my DS seemed the simplest of any of my kids. I was hoping this one would be similar, but I feel like I don't have enough time to do what I'm supposed to.

I'm trying not to sweat it because I know this is only a temporary phase and one day, things will get more back to normal.

Just know that you are not "unusual" for feeling the way you do. I think we all feel overwhelmed at one point or another after any birth. Adding to your family is always and adjustment. Hang in there, it does get better.

[De-lovely]

Just wanted to offer hugs for you mamas!

[boogiemonster]

I'm just doing what I can to survive (and keep the girls alive) until Lucy is six weeks old...for some reason that's a milestone for me. I'm just tring to breathe and take it one step at a time. I feel like a crummy mum most of the time with my moods all over the place, so I'm attempting to be gentle with everyone, including myself.