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Queer TTC: Taking a Break

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
This is the thread for all of us who find ourselves on ice.

One of my big struggles is that I get really really good CM and ovulation cramps every couple of months, and each time I think "Oh, man, this would be a perfect month!"

I'm really tired of being on a break. I've only been on a break for about three months now, and I expect to be on a break for at least a year.

There was a point where being on a break freed me from having to think about TTC, and now I'm just obsessed and I find myself thinking of nothing but. I hope it gets easier.
post #2 of 61
We remain on a break, but for the first time in a year, we're gearing up to try again.

Do you mind if I add a link to this thread in our ttc thread, so people can find this easily?
post #3 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
Do you mind if I add a link to this thread in our ttc thread, so people can find this easily?
Of course not, please do!
post #4 of 61
Last month, I got my first ++!!! OPK.
I was so upset, thinking "hey, I actually know when I am ovulating but we have no sperm.... what a waste."

I guess the time is killing me. I really wanted my kids a certain age apart, I guess you can't really control these things though.
I just have to think that getting my cycles predictable before we start again is for the best instead of swearing I am pregnant every month because my cycles are getting constantly longer. If I hadn't known better last month, I would have sworn I were because I was 7 days late. How frustrating!
post #5 of 61
Thanks for the new thread ftmPapa, i didn't want to start another one. Thought I might be jinxing them.

For those that don't know we've been TTC for four cycles (frozen) and are taking this cycle off. We'll start again in Jan and insem probably around the second week in Jan. The first three cycles were at home and the 4th was with an RE. I've had all the tests run along with the dye test this month. Everything looks normal except my progesterone was low but the next cycle with the fertility meds my levels were great! So now I know I'm normal it's just a matter of everything coming together.

This break was much needed, wanted, and appreciated for us. I feel like we are re-grouping and will be in a better "state" when we start trying again in Jan. For now, I'm enjoying wine, not thinking about TTC, not charting, not worrying about when to time the insem, and my wife
post #6 of 61
At first when we starting TTC, hearing the news we had to take 2 months off because of cysts seemed almost as devastating as finding out we werent pregnant on a certain cycle. Now as the next attempt comes closer I feel thankful that I have time some time to reflect and slow down because I am literally used to getting what I want when I want it. With TTC its completely different. Having no control over where and when or even if we will happen has put my life into perspective in a good way. In this whole process I have matured more than I thought was possible and I welcome whatever comes our way in the future.
post #7 of 61
Scalpel, I'm so glad you can articulate my feelings better than I can, . I'm in the same boat. BTW How are you feeling? Are the cysts gone? When's your next attempt?
post #8 of 61
Thread Starter 
Is anybody else on an extended break?

I've taken three cycles off - one while waiting for the fertility clinic to get their act together after one cycle at home. One because of cysts from Clomid.

So basically, one month on, one month off, one month on, one month on, until it went off, one month on. Or something like that.

That was a lot easier - I knew each time except the last that there was another try in my future. Even the last, I was sort of in denial, because I only had one insem, so I had (have?) another vial of sperm at the clinic.

Now I live in a different country, as far as I know, my sperm is still in Canada, waiting until I get up there at the right time, or something. I don't know when my next try will be. Maybe next month, but not likely. Maybe in six months - more likely. Maybe in a year - I'll be out of patience by then.

What do you guys do to make the "break" pass more quickly?

It doesn't feel like a break to me! It feels more like being exiled from TTC land!
post #9 of 61
We were on a break for a year. We passed the time by having health crises and Village crises, neither of which I really recommend.
post #10 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtsGirl View Post
Scalpel, I'm so glad you can articulate my feelings better than I can, . I'm in the same boat. BTW How are you feeling? Are the cysts gone? When's your next attempt?

Its actually my Dp's the one with the cyst but I suppose I type like its me hahaha.....hey im on this journey too right? The cyst are gone for now but they found some polypoid structure in the lower uterine segment of her endometrium which seems to appear/disappear depending on the day of the u/s. We inseminate this thursday( our 3rd time) and if its a no go this time she will have some other dye procedure done and removal of the strange polyp. Hopefully it works so we wont have to discuss the latter treatment.


How are you doing? Much needed break huh? TTC is stressful enough and mixed with the holidays no thank you! I suppose I can still enjoy a buttered rum as long as I dont do it around my Dp hahaha.
post #11 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by FtMPapa View Post
What do you guys do to make the "break" pass more quickly?
I guess it's a little different for me because my "break" isn't as long as yours, FtM but like I said on the TTC board, I'm diving back into my hobbies. Doing some knitting and reading all non-baby related. I find when I don't think about it, the time goes by much faster.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scalpel View Post
Its actually my Dp's the one with the cyst but I suppose I type like its me hahaha.....hey im on this journey too right?

How are you doing? Much needed break huh? TTC is stressful enough and mixed with the holidays no thank you! I suppose I can still enjoy a buttered rum as long as I dont do it around my Dp hahaha.
Scalpel, I'd certainly say it's your journey too. So glad everything is going good and hope that the insem on Thursday goes great and the mysterious polyp is no where in sight! I'm doing well, enjoying the break. Buttered rum...YUM!
post #12 of 61
I feel for those of you on an extended break. You are very strong - I don't think I would make it.

Our break has only been one cycle long. We will try again next cycle, probably around New Years Eve. The crappy thing about this is that it makes me completely disinterested in Christmas. I'm normally a Christmas freak!!! I love it, but this year, I can't wait till it's all over and we can try again. This will be our fith try, and I never imagined it would take this long. I guess I thought I'd be one of the lucky ones that gets pregnant within 3 cycles.

It doesn't help that my 40 year old best friend who has 3 kids already decided to start trying for a 4th and got pregnant the 1st month. I'm happy for her, but it makes me so sad for us.

I don't like this break thing, and I hope I don't have to take another.
post #13 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by pranava View Post
I feel for those of you on an extended break. You are very strong - I don't think I would make it.
Oh, you would. That's the thing about this journey--you find out all kinds of stuff that you can do that you never thought possible.
post #14 of 61
FtmPapa, thanks for reigniting this thread in the queer space. And thanks to I think Rachel for linking it to the TTC thread so I could find it again.

I agree with frog that you find patience where you didn't think there could possibly be any. We got pregnant on the first try with DS, and now, trying for number two, it has been about a year and a half. And there have been MANY breaks throughout the process. There have been the breaks because our donor lives on the other side of the country, then there were the post-miscarriage breaks...waiting for AF to return so we could try again. And now we're in the wait called...wow! I think my body can do this without drugs...but we have to recalibrate the timing through charting.

I have my moments of being DONE waiting. But they aren't as frequent as they were at first. I know it will happen eventually. Last august, when I was really upset about not being pregnant, DW and I had a great talk, ending in, "we're not going to give up." And that makes the wait that much more bearable. I think part of my impatience has to do with being afraid that if it takes too long we'll just give up. Now I don't have to have that worry anymore.

And, of course, this post makes me seem much more laid back than I really am. I really want to be pregnant. I really want to have a big belly in the summertime that I can show off in a bikini!!!
post #15 of 61

Waiting as well

Thanks for having this thread! My DP and I are taking a month off due to travel issues and such. It was much easier for our KD and we to keep things simple. We are planning on flying him to Portland in January. We are so hoping that the timing will be perfect and with fresh spermies we will be successful!

Enjoy the rest...although it is hard not to think about timing. My midwife is asking me to keep charting and stay away from all the evils...I am having hot chocolate...I can't resist! It is soooooo cold...for us anyway. Nothing like what is happening on the east coast!::
post #16 of 61
Hey y'all!

Just wanted to check in before I jet outta here (between storms) tomorrow for California!! I'm glad we have a queer taking a break thread. I've been crazy trying tie up loose ends but I've enjoyed lurking.

so as for me--YUP still on break and it looks like I will be until the end of February Its been hard and I know it'll get harder. Now that I suspect that I'm Oing later (based on my 20 OPKs this month) we could actually be back in MA before I O (most likely Jan1st or 2nd.) Once I figured this out I begged and pleaded!! But Moll said, "No, that is not what we said. We said we'd take 3 months off." I know she is right! But I can still pout (at least around y'all) right? I know her main concern is that she is starting her program in Colorado the end of next summer. She has to go the last week of August thru the first week of Sept and she really doesn't want to leave a 8+ month pregnant me behind. She's fine with a 6 month pregnant me, but she doesn't want to cut it that close. I get it--I do--I know she is right, but its hard when she (7 years my junior) is making such grown up decisions!!! Naw--I always say she is waaaaay more mature then me!!!!

Also met my new OB/GYN yesterday--He was GREAT!! Really open minded, very supportive os my trying at home. Very reassuring. Explained all my options, put ABSOLUTELY no pressure on me to do Clomid etc. at this point. He said we'd do blood tests:
Estradiol, FSH, Prolactin, Rubella and checking how my progesterone is now that I've been doing the cream for 6 months. We're also gonna do a dye test right before we start trying again. I feel really good about him and the work he does!!

that's it for me. I'm sure I'll be checking in from Cali--but Peace to you all on you breaks, Great luck to you when you get back on that zany coaster--and Happy (whatever)!! Enjoy yourselves, your families, your lovers, and your friends during this holiday-dipped season.
post #17 of 61
Keely, I hope you and Molly have/had a safe trip to and from Cali and you had a blast while over on the west coast. And don't you hate it when you know they are making the most sense but all you want to do is be irrational. Augh. So GLAD the meeting with the OB/GYN went well. Sounds like you really found a great one that really works well with you and Molly and your plans.

Our break will soon be coming to an end and although I'm excited about starting to TTC again, I'm a little sad too. I've really enjoyed not having to obsess over everything. I am finally feeling a little like my old self. So I've been thinking about how I can "cope" with this process better when we start again in Jan. I've really enjoyed not charting and I'd like to not chart again but I'm afraid it will backfire on me again. I haven't come up with any answers yet, but hoping to at some point between now and the new year. AF should be here within a few days and then our cycle will begin.

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Holiday Season.
post #18 of 61
Ok, so we're taking a break too. So much taking a break that I didn't even necessarily want to post here. I haven't even so much as glanced at the TTC area in months.

Originally we were taking a break until January, as I was supposed to have the option of changing my health insurance to a plan that would cover some IF. Company switched providers, so that's out the window.

Now I think we're taking a break for a year or so. My timing (kid-wise) is pretty much out the window to begin with, as DSD is almost 11 and DD is 8 1/2. They'll be a generation apart anyhow, so that part doesn't really matter so much.

I am glad to be on a break. For some reason, I'm not itching to get back into it. Feels like it would never happen anyway, after 4 failed clomid+IUI attempts. We've probably spent 5000+ this year, and we canNOT afford to continue down that path.

What stung was DD (who has no clue about any TTC stuff) asking me for a brother or sister for Christmas.
post #19 of 61
Oh, girlie. I'm so sorry.
post #20 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtsGirl View Post
Our break will soon be coming to an end and although I'm excited about starting to TTC again, I'm a little sad too. I've really enjoyed not having to obsess over everything. I am finally feeling a little like my old self. So I've been thinking about how I can "cope" with this process better when we start again in Jan. I've really enjoyed not charting and I'd like to not chart again but I'm afraid it will backfire on me again. I haven't come up with any answers yet, but hoping to at some point between now and the new year.
You know, what helped me a lot when I was feeling burnt out on charting was this compromise- I started temping six days before my earliest expected O date, temped for three days after O (to confirm the shift with three high temps), and then put my thermometer away. It gave me all the info I needed, and made me much calmer.....
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