DH's frugrality keeps the house cold - has he crossed the line? - Page 3

[phatchristy]

My mom is like that...she keeps hers so low. Though, she lives alone in a very large house.

I think it's different if you have children.

[KatWrangler]

I keep it about 70 during the day and 60 at night. We are renting a townhouse and its built over a crawl space. The first floor is freezing (no insulation under the floor in the crawl space.

I am home with two toddlers all day. I can't be freezing.

I think your hubby is being extreme.

[captivatedlife]

I keep my thermostat at 55-60. I live in Colorado though!

I layer in the house though and it's ok.

It's not going to be cold for too long though!

eta - If you're the one home all day, 60 would be the minimum. He's warm at work. That's not fair.

[KatWrangler]

PS we don't have AC.

[mommaof3boz]

OK hand the wimp award over here because I like it 72 degrees at all times. My dh works outside in all weather rain, sleet, ice, snow, boiling hot and humid. I work in a Cardiac cath lab and we have to keep it in the low 60's to maintain sterile environment. When we get home we want total comfort. We don't spend money on a lot of "stuff" or eating out. Our comfort in our home and yummy food are top priority.

There isn't any gurantee any of us will ever retire. I'm not talking due to money. I'm talking due to health, the state of the world, etc. I am going to enjoy life's basic comforts and if someday I have a nice retirement lucky me.

Turn up the heat and find something else to cut back on.

[amyamanda]

I don't think 55 is extreme for everyone. We keep our thermostat at 55. We live here in Vermont where it was 16F this morning. In comparison, 55 is rather toasty. Our main reason for keeping it this low is frugality. Oil heat is darn expensive, and we don't have an easy option for any other heating source right now. Also, using oil, I'm aware that we're burning a fossil fuel. I am not comfortable turning our thermostat up any higher than our minimum comfortable temperature.

My kids are used to it, and so am I. The kids dance around in pretty minimal clothing and hardly ever complain - if they complain, we have more clothes, blankets, warm slippers and socks, hot tea, hats and mittens, etc. You do get used to it, especially when you're not going back and forth from hotter to colder (like my poor DH who works in a 70F+ office and comes home to 55F - he feels it much more than we do).

If someone is sick or really complaining I will turn it up to 60 to get the chill off and then turn it back down to 55F.

Anyway, I'm not crazy, and I don't think people who keep their thermostat in the 50s are necessarily nuts (and I resent that implication, which is why I'm replying here).

Definitely 55F feels cold if you're used to warmer temperatures. And in the summer? We don't have air conditioning, and it gets really hot, 80-90F, and humid, and we just live with it because there isn't another option (only fans).

However, to the OP, I think your issue is less about the exact temperature being reasonable than it is about your relationship with your DH. You both should be willing to negotiate a temperature that is comfortable for you and feels reasonably frugal to him. I don't think it's wrong to be frugal about home heating. If your lowest comfortable temp is 62F, then that's what it should be, especially if you're the one home all day with the kids. I think your DH should be part of the decision because he's working hard to earn the money (presumably) and I would guess he probably is the type who feels most appreciated and valued when he sees you being frugal with his earnings.

Anyway, more than 2c worth of my opinion, but in any case, good luck.

[Jane]

Doesn't really go with the thread, but I went to visit my brother in San Diego one Christmas. He said, "I put the electric blanket on you bed for you. They say it's gonna get down to 70 tonight!"

Obviously some of it is relative.

I live between two places (I commute for work). In one, it's a cozy place with double pane windows and 2x6 construction with good insulation. The other is a old house with no insulation and single pane, aluminium windows. 60 is fine in the cozy place - it's draft free. 68 is cold in the big house with lots of drafts.

[KatWrangler]

Originally Posted by Apricot

Doesn't really go with the thread, but I went to visit my brother in San Diego one Christmas. He said, "I put the electric blanket on you bed for you. They say it's gonna get down to 70 tonight!"

Obviously some of it is relative.

I live between two places (I commute for work). In one, it's a cozy place with double pane windows and 2x6 construction with good insulation. The other is a old house with no insulation and single pane, aluminium windows. 60 is fine in the cozy place - it's draft free. 68 is cold in the big house with lots of drafts.

LOL

Well we sleep with our bedroom window cracked open in the winter. Oh and it was 2 this morning. LOL I like the bedroom cool to sleep, but not freezing.

[MommyErin]

Originally Posted by DisplacedYooper

I find that the house feels colder during the fall, when outside temps are in the 40s and 50s, than it does during the winter, when it is typically below freezing. 60 feels like a heatwave when you come in from outside during the winter, but it's dishearting to come in when it's 50 and you're already chilly and the house isn't really that much warmer... just my experience...

This is so true. A 65 degree house feels much warmer coming inside from below freezing temps than in does coming in when it's 52 outside. And coming in and out of the house is a lot different than having to sit in it all day.

[phathui5]

Ours is around 62 during the day and 58 at night.

[meowee]

pinecone, are you thinner than your DH? Because thin people feel the cold more than not thin people. I grew up in an overweight family, I was the only underweight one. I was constantly, constantly cold. I was so cold most of the time I couldn't feel my feet or fingers. I would sneak up the thermostat at night. If you also have poor circulation on top of being thin, that will make it even harder.

[MommyErin]

Originally Posted by meowee

pinecone, are you thinner than your DH? Because thin people feel the cold more than not thin people. I grew up in an overweight family, I was the only underweight one. I was constantly, constantly cold. I was so cold most of the time I couldn't feel my feet or fingers. I would sneak up the thermostat at night. If you also have poor circulation on top of being thin, that will make it even harder.

See, this just proves I'm a freak! I'm the heaviest in my family and still the coldest!

[MissLotus]

Okay, if money problems are not severe, it's crazy that he's trying to freeze his family to save some dough...added to the the idea, as some PP's pointed out, that HE is not there freezing all day, and....

You do not need his permission to keep yourself and your children warm. When he's home, all by himself, he can keep it as low as he pleases.

[crunchy_mama]

another vote that you and the kids should be comfortable! I keep our house at 66-71 depending on my mood and the time. We heavily invested in a highly efficient c/h/a and state of the art insulation. I want to be comfortable inside, I wear pants in the house- not shorts or anything. I am much better at tolerating heat. Regardless we all have different internal thermostats and unless you are having serious financial issues you dh shouldn't be freezing you out.

[SugarAndSun]

We are trying to cut back this year. We are all always freezing!!! Here's what I do... I turn the heat off at night. It stays around 60 anyway. Maybe 56 if it is below 30. Our house is really well insulated. THen when I get up, I give us a burst of warm air up to 70 and then turn it down to 65 or so or turn it off. In the evening I give us another burst to 70 and then turn it off. We have hot air heat so it only takes about five minutes of running the heat to get it up to 70 from 60.

[ett]

Lower 50's is very low! If you can pay the bills, then you should definitely be able to turn the thermostat up a couple of degrees. Especially with kids in the house.

[Red]

I'd insist on warmer day time temps, though the nighttime wouldn't bother me. (THose menopausal night sweats keep my whole room warm!)

Can you close off a room or two during the day or for the winter, and save money not heating them?

And while I'm all for early retirement, getting it by letting your wife and kids be cold all the time isn't very...honorable. Or nice.

[Momtwice]

My parents set it in the upper 50's at night when I was a kid. It was miserable!

[StrawberryFields]

Originally Posted by pinecone

Funny thing. DH just called me at work to say he's researching programs for replacing our furnace. He must be catching my heating vibe. We've had a bad year financially, so we may qualify for some assistance with this. Though overall we're financially secure. It would be great to qualify for some kind of help as we want to go from forced air heat to boiler heat and upgrade our old house to underfloor heat. That would be so awesome!

To answer a PP, I don't think it is that DH is so controlling. He's just willing to push it to see when I'll push back. There is no doubt that tonight we'll be discussing this and I'm confident we can come to an understanding. I'd like to keep it at 55-57 for night and 62 during the day when we're home. We have a programmable thermostat so it should not be a big deal.

Thanks for all the support. I haven't felt that I was in temperature crisis yet. But definitely getting there. In my part of Wisconsin it has been cold, but not yet below zero. The worst of winter is yet to come.

Much gratitude for all your replies. I'm ready!

I am glad you are coming to an agreement because I am in Milwaukee and I am totally on your side! If dh wanted to keep the house in the 50s I would have him sleep in the garage while I cranked our heat to a toasty level in the house That would never happen though because dh likes to be just as warm as I do. We keep our heat around 70 around the clock.

[SneakyPie]

Originally Posted by mtm

I don't understand why one person gets all the say when others are getting cold.

:

: