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DH's frugrality keeps the house cold - has he crossed the line? - Page 4

post #61 of 93
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
That's WAY extreme, IMO. But then again, I live in Texas and set my theromostat at 68.
Waaaaaaay extreme! In my house, we'd call your dh the "heat Nazi" (NO HEAT FOR YOU!) But that's just us... We keep it at 70. I'm thinking in a family (or even in a roommate situation), there has to be a compromise. It's not only extreme, it's unfair to insist that the house be at a temp that makes the rest of the family physically uncomfortable. That's not democracy! :

You could get all Dr. Phil on him with a conversation along these lines: Dear husband, I appreciate all that you do to help our money go as far as it possibly can. You are a good provider and we are in good shape. I'd like to discuss something with you that is important to me. Dc and I are very uncomfortable when the house is in the 50s. I'd like to keep the house warmer that we have been. I'd feel much more comfortable if we kept the thermostat at around 60 (or 65) degrees. I'd like us to work out a compromise so that we can all be comfortable in our house.

OR, you can do what I'd do which is say, "I'm turning up the thermostat to 65 (or 60), and unless you want to physically wrestle me away from it, that's where it's staying."

Whichever works best for you.
post #62 of 93
I usually keep the house temp between 60 and 65 F during the day. Below 60 I get very cold and uncomfortable no matter how many layers I put on. I spend most of my energy just trying to stay warm then. I don't mind wearing layers but I can't wear gloves and a winter coat inside and do the things I need to do each day.
I guess I'm odd in turning the heat up when the sun goes down. It goes between 65 and 68 at night.

If you have the money, I would inform your dh what the lowest temp you can be comfortable wearing reasonable winter layers (long underwear, sweaters) and still be functional in your home. Below that temp I would not budge.
If your dh wishes to save for early retirement he can save money on things that affect him but he should not force everyone else to be miserable.
post #63 of 93
I have to add a bit more... Maybe if your DH hates paying for heat so much you should consider moving! : Maybe Georgia? Maybe you can talk to your DH about heat being a necessity in your part of the country.

I have to say though, 80+ is fine with me in the summer. I would lose it is someone put AC on in my house!
post #64 of 93
Originally Posted by Momtwice View Post
My parents set it in the upper 50's at night when I was a kid. It was miserable!
Nighttime doesn't bother me as I have big down comforters on everyone's beds. In fact, I sleep better when it's colder. Now the daytime, well that's another story ... :
post #65 of 93
A bit extreme for me.

We are in MN (-12 this morning) and we have the heat set at 58 at night and 64 during the day. We are comfortable enough for the most part. We have a gas fireplace that I turn on for about an hour in the morning while we are eating breakfast. We do wear layers.

In the summer we have the A/C set at 78 during the day and 74 at night.
post #66 of 93
No way would I be that uncomfortable in my own house. I'd give up lots of things before I would give up heat. I have a friend who keeps her house cold, well her DH does, and I won't visit them in the winter. It's just too unpleasant. We average about 72 degrees and my Dh would go for 80 if I let him.
post #67 of 93
If your teeth chatter when you get up at night to use the potty, it's TOO COLD.

One thanksgiving I came home from college and that happened to me :.
post #68 of 93
Another Wisconsinite here. : Is everyone loving the snow? My parents house was always so cold that using the toilet at night was horrible and the hardwood floors would be freezing if your slippers weren't next to your bed in the morning. After reading this thread, I feel guilty keeping it at 70 during the day and 67 at night. I have a 2 month old and her hands always feel cold anyways. I think I'll turn it down and add more layer to us because I forgot that we aren't on budget this year.
post #69 of 93
I agree that's pretty low. I have to fight my husband to get 68 in my house. I know that's higher than some of the other posters, but I have low bp so I already always feel cold : Add in two toddlers and a crawling infant on the floor of a slab home and it just feels cold to me!
post #70 of 93
Originally Posted by pinecone View Post
Yes we can afford the bills. We just try to live sparingly so that we can save earnestly. DH wants an early retirement.
If we could afford the bill and my DH was doing this, he'd be looking at an early grave, not early retirement.
post #71 of 93
I think what's even more extreme than the temperature he's suggesting is the idea that he seems to be "in charge" of a decision like this! Who put him in charge?
post #72 of 93
ITA with the PP!!! No way is my husband in control of the thermostat when I am home full time and the kids need warm/cool. He could live with it in the 50s, but he wouldn't dream of trying to enforce that. He can turn it down if it seems too hot for him, and when I get cold it would go right back up.

I totally see why he's trying to save mooney, but it seems so disrespectful to control something that makes you all so uncomfortable.

I am SO not trying to attack you! Just giving you my thoughts May the warmth be with you
post #73 of 93
I'm outside of Boston, Ma and when we are out of the house or sleeping the heat is set to the low 50's and when we are home it is in the high 50's. Toasty warm for us but my less-than-frugal friends, who keep their heat set at 72-76, complain when they come over. :

We didn't even turn on our heat till last week... I love to to see the TY vs LY comaprsion on our bills! I try to beat it each year!
post #74 of 93
Yay, sounds like a great solution.

Originally Posted by pinecone View Post
Funny thing. DH just called me at work to say he's researching programs for replacing our furnace. He must be catching my heating vibe. We've had a bad year financially, so we may qualify for some assistance with this. Though overall we're financially secure. It would be great to qualify for some kind of help as we want to go from forced air heat to boiler heat and upgrade our old house to underfloor heat. That would be so awesome!

To answer a PP, I don't think it is that DH is so controlling. He's just willing to push it to see when I'll push back. There is no doubt that tonight we'll be discussing this and I'm confident we can come to an understanding. I'd like to keep it at 55-57 for night and 62 during the day when we're home. We have a programmable thermostat so it should not be a big deal.

Thanks for all the support. I haven't felt that I was in temperature crisis yet. But definitely getting there. In my part of Wisconsin it has been cold, but not yet below zero. The worst of winter is yet to come.

Much gratitude for all your replies. I'm ready!
post #75 of 93
Originally Posted by MommyErin View Post
See, this just proves I'm a freak! I'm the heaviest in my family and still the coldest!
You probably have poor circulation-- but I guarantee if you lost weight you'd suffer more in the cold.

I actually have so much resentment over this-- my most predominant, vivid memories of childhood are of freezing. And not just uncomfortable, but real pain. I burned holes through most of my socks putting my feet directly on the wood stove. My feet were so numb with cold I didn't feel the heat and just realized they were burning when I smelled the socks burning. I went to a school where the cut off for keeping kids in for recess was 10F. So we would get to stay in only if it was 9F (not counting wind chill).

My mom lost a lot of weight later in life and I remember asking her kind of wryly, So, do you feel the cold more now? She said she did. I remember just staring at her, I couldn't even find words.
post #76 of 93
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
That's WAY extreme, IMO. But then again, I live in Texas and set my theromostat at 68.
Ditto, except Arkansas here. lol
I crank it up to a whopping 70 if I'm gonna actually be home on the sitting still at the computer or something, but 66-68 if we're gone or sleeping under blankets.
(I have really low blood pressure, I'm ALWAYS cold but I do heat fine, so I could live at 80 degrees year-round)
post #77 of 93
I definately think a compromise is in order.

But, I do not think 50's is nuts. We set ours for 52 at night and 62 during the day. However, our house is VERY old and drafty so while it might be 62 degrees at the thermostat, which is right in the center of the house, the kitchen and living room where we spend all of our time tops out at 55. The upstairs is even colder due to lack of registers. I have frozen a crust on the top of my water a few times since we moved into this house. Luckily, whoever did the plumbing (once this house got indoor plumbing) must have been smart because every pipe is near ducts or registers.

Once you are used to it, it seems warms. And of course it seems warm after coming inside from 5 degree weather I agree with a pp that it actually feels colder when the outside temp is about the same or just a little less.

My dh is the one that complains. But he is here and awake for about 3 hours a day. If he wants, he can bump it up during that time. But then dd complains that it is too hot She will run around all day in her bathing suit and it does not even occur to her that it is "cold".

Ironically, I was always cold growing up. I think my parents kept their modern house much warmer than I do mine now. No one told me to put on a sweater and I never really complained. I just remember spending a lot of time perched on top of a register with a blanket surrounding it to catch all of the heat My cats do that now, minus the blanket, of course. Wimps.
post #78 of 93
I'm in Wisconsin, too. I got a shiver just thinking about the house being in the 50s. I hope you were able to talk to him and work out a compromise. I can understand wanting to save on the cost but if the rest of you are freezing, then it's not worth it.
post #79 of 93
[QUOTE=amyamanda;9983914]I don't think 55 is extreme for everyone. We keep our thermostat at 55. We live here in Vermont where it was 16F this morning. In comparison, 55 is rather toasty. Our main reason for keeping it this low is frugality. Oil heat is darn expensive, and we don't have an easy option for any other heating source right now. Also, using oil, I'm aware that we're burning a fossil fuel. I am not comfortable turning our thermostat up any higher than our minimum comfortable temperature.

My kids are used to it, and so am I. The kids dance around in pretty minimal clothing and hardly ever complain - if they complain, we have more clothes, blankets, warm slippers and socks, hot tea, hats and mittens, etc. You do get used to it, especially when you're not going back and forth from hotter to colder (like my poor DH who works in a 70F+ office and comes home to 55F - he feels it much more than we do).

Same here. Our (oil) heating is so old it doesn't have a thermastat, so the only way we can use it is to only have it on for very limited sessions each day. Currently we use it for 30 mins each morning, whilst we have our shower/dress and then 1 hr in the evening whilst the kids have a bath etc. It keeps our house at about 55 during the day and obviously less at night (but that doesn't really matter.)
It's cold but I don't think it's unhealthily cold. You get used to it after a while. However, in response to the OP, I wouldn't choose to live like this. We just can't afford to heat the house more this winter, but if we could I would because by mid afternoon I am feeling it.
Good luck talking with your DH.
post #80 of 93
There are some people that are just never going to do well in 50-55 degree temperatures. I froze through my childhood in winter when my parents set the thermostat that low, and still freeze when I go see them during the winter.

It's not a character flaw. It's just that my body's not wired to be warm enough at those temperatures no matter how many layers are involved. There were times where I'd sleep with sweatpants, long underwear, a sweatshirt over a long sleeve t-shirt, and three thick comforters, and I'd still wake up insanely cold.
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