It was hard when my first one was 4 but we survived and it wasn't nearly as stressful. Twins adds a whole new twist to it. They fight ALL. THE. TIME. About everything. They aren't happy with any compromises. They're identical twins and personalities are very similar as well. They're both very shy outside the home but rowdy and outgoing at home. They are together all the time. Dh and I suggested every now and then letting them take turns sleeping with the oldest, so one of them can have a room to himself for the night. They don't want to. They go to the same preschool class and wouldn't go without their brother. If one is sick and one isn't, the other won't go. We suggested two activities- like through the park district, where they could go for the afternoon and share what they did with us. They don't want to go without their brother. I take turns of which boy goes grocery shopping with me each week. First we go to Barnes and Noble and I get coffee and let him get chocolate soymilk and look at books together. They're excited to go at first, but within 15 minutes are saying "Where's my brother? I want to go home."
Yet when they're together, they can't get along. Every single thing is a fight. They both want the same chair at the table and will fight physically for it. So dh and I will pull two chairs next to each other in that spot or see if they want to share the chair. No. They do whatever they can to annoy the other. All day long we hear "Stop it. I don't like that!" from both of them.
When my oldest was 4, he did annoying stuff, but it was to me and dh. These guys do less stuff to annoy us and tons to each other (and sometimes big brother).
I'm really questioning whether or not we can GD them. Until 4, when people would say things like "Wow twins! You must really have your hands full." Dh and I kind of shrugged because while it wasn't easy, it was just busy. It was just doing the same thing more times. It wasn't hard though. Now at 4, it's hard and every day I feel like we get further and further from where we'd like to be.
I've read all sorts of books. I've tried putting it into practice and we're in the same place or getting worse. Help!
Yet when they're together, they can't get along. Every single thing is a fight. They both want the same chair at the table and will fight physically for it. So dh and I will pull two chairs next to each other in that spot or see if they want to share the chair. No. They do whatever they can to annoy the other. All day long we hear "Stop it. I don't like that!" from both of them.
When my oldest was 4, he did annoying stuff, but it was to me and dh. These guys do less stuff to annoy us and tons to each other (and sometimes big brother).
I'm really questioning whether or not we can GD them. Until 4, when people would say things like "Wow twins! You must really have your hands full." Dh and I kind of shrugged because while it wasn't easy, it was just busy. It was just doing the same thing more times. It wasn't hard though. Now at 4, it's hard and every day I feel like we get further and further from where we'd like to be.
I've read all sorts of books. I've tried putting it into practice and we're in the same place or getting worse. Help!
I don't want to resort to timeouts, taking things away, and being extra strict because there are two of them. It's not their fault that it's harder! But I'm not quite sure how to do it.
