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Did *anybody* have a good first birth? - Page 2

post #21 of 64
Well, I ended up with a healthy daughter, and that, in my books, qualifies my birth as a success. No, I didn't envision getting an epidural, but oh well, life goes on. Each one of my birth experiences has been different, right down to my last birth, a homebirth, but I never dwelt on the labor and delivery, I was happy with the ultimate outcome (a healthy baby).

susie
post #22 of 64
I can't imagine what is like to go through a csection but for me the experience of infertility left me with little expectations outside of a healthy baby. I think it is about expectations and I accept that my body is unpredictable and miraculous and Im glad we have options because 100 years ago our chance of dying in child birth was a lot greater without options. My experience with 2 bouts of horrible mastitis was my greatest disappointment worse than the pain of my delivery.
post #23 of 64
I had a great homebirth w/ DD (my first and only baby). It was empowering and amazing and all of those things. It was also really hard but that doesn't diminish anything for me. I remember being on a 'high' for a long time afterwards, and I still look back on my birth as the best thing I have ever done.
post #24 of 64
I've been thinking about how to respond to this. I absolutely think my first birth was amazing. It just worked out perfectly, my midwife let me progress at my own pace and when it was time my body (and my babe) kicked into high gear. I, too, was flying high on pride (and probably endorphins) for days & was so proud of us all. However, I've posted on here a few times about how I was not completely happy with my midwife (who, incidentally, did not end up delivering my daughter in in the end anyhow...) When I took birth classes (Birthing from Within) our instructor stressed the fact that you may think you will be fully prepared for your birth and everything is laid out, but there will always be something unplanned or unprepared for. And the secret to having an amazing birth is learning how to let go of the negatives and focus on the incredible life you brought into the world.
post #25 of 64
I haven't read the previous posts but wanted to say that education is the key to a good birth. Knowing what you want and working to get that will result in a good birth. That said...

My first birth was not a good experience at all. BUT there is so much more to my story than just not getting what I wanted. My 1st was 3 months premature and I was not at all prepared for her arrival, much less was the doctor. I was not ready for labor and didn't handle it well at all. I also made a very bad choice with my doctor and made changes after that. As I learned more I switched to a midwife and even after my first homebirth I wanted to make changes the next time around. We even had an UC that I consider my BEST birth and there are still things I wish went differently.

But they were all unique and special in their own ways and the best thing was a strong healthy baby and mom when it was all said and done. When I look back now I try to remember all the funny, good things that each birth brought with it.
post #26 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by smocklets View Post
I had a great first birth, in a hospital. Please don't listen to any horror stories. Everyone is different, and your attitude will affect you greatly during delivery.

Try to relax, look forward to childbirth and enjoy every moment!!
I had a good first birth ... with an epi, since that's what I wanted.
10 years later, I had a wonderful hospital birth, with 95% of my labor being at home. (I got to the hospital at 9cm) No epi, 2 pushes, and she was out. One of the L/D nurses even commented .. "girl, you did it right! Got to eat your own food, sleep in your own bed, etc"

I've made it a point to block any horror stories .... I stop people if they start telling me bad birth stories ...
post #27 of 64
I know lots of folks who had good first births! My own first was a lovely homebirth. My sister had her first with a midwife in a birth center. It was so great she says she's done having children. The midwife who helped me with my first babe, helped a woman birth a first baby who ended up to be 10lbs and presented bum first.
post #28 of 64
No horror stories here. I had a natural hospital birth with dd and everything went fine. This time around I don't have an ounce of fear about childbirth. I am actually looking forward to it as crazy as that sounds. I still remember how I felt after my daughter was born. I can't wait to feel that again.
post #29 of 64
My first birth was in a hospital, but I take at least half the responsibility for it turning out the way it did.
I was trying to be a good little patient, rather than ferociously advocating for myself if needed, or for my kiddo.
If I'd had a better idea what was going to happen, different things the nurses/doctors would try to pull, etc., it would've been nice.

Other folks had perfectly happy births at that same hospital, so who knows. Maybe they had a better situation, maybe they had a doula or were brave enough to stand up for themselves, or maybe they had no problem bowing down to the doctor and doing whatever OB said. All depends.

I'd say trying to find a doula you love would definitely help. Between a doula and your hubby, your chances of having to concentrate on other stuff besides labor are much better. Just by educating yourself, you're in a much better place than I was when I had my first kiddo. I just went with the flow and listened to my OB, regardless of whether I thought he was full of it or not. And staying home as long as possible rather than rushing immediately to the hospital is probably a good idea, too.
post #30 of 64
Perfect Great Birth!! A long push session because I think the water was just not working for me and I just kept trying in that birth tub, but my first labor start to finish 9 hours long, home birth, healthy perfect baby girl! I loved each experiance I have had each unique and perfect. I love giving birth
I have 2 of my 3 births on you tube you are all welcome to check out. You can have the birth of your dreams
The Home Birth Of Emma Dae Dallas on you tube

Mahala Rain Dallas Birth on you tube (tried to post link but didn't work)
post #31 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by smocklets View Post
I had a great first birth, in a hospital. Please don't listen to any horror stories. Everyone is different, and your attitude will affect you greatly during delivery.

Try to relax, look forward to childbirth and enjoy every moment!!
Yes! I had a planned homebirth with a hospital transfer due to footling breech and a section...and it was still a positive experience! it's all in the attitude! Ignore the horror stories and believe in yourself
post #32 of 64
I had a great first birth, and know lots of mamas who did! While I was prepared to go way past dates and have a long and hard labor, I ended up birthing my son at 38 weeks after 5 hours of pretty easy active labor (though I'd been in early labor for over 24 hours) - I loved labor and birth, it was absolutely the best experience of my life at the time. I was on a birth high for weeks! I cannot wait to do it again
post #33 of 64
My one and only birth was exactly as I wanted it - in the hospital with midwife and partner. Everyone followed my written birth plan and the only time my ds left my room was to see the pediatric oncologist who came down from Yale to examine him (double checking that the genetic testing said he was clear of the cancer I lost one of my eyes to as an infant). The hospital staff was supportive of my breastfeeding and let hubby camp out for the 3 days I was in the hospital.
post #34 of 64
I had an excellent drug and intervention free first birth in a hospital with an OB. I believe that the key was that I empowered myself with knowledge and firmly stated my expectations. I had a birth plan in the sense that I listed out how I wished to birth
ie. 1. No pain medications of any kind were to be offered, however they were ok to be given if I requested. 2. I required the ability to move freely as I labored and the ability to choose the positioning that felt most natural for me as I delivered...and so on and so on....

I made myself aware of what I could 'demand' and when to know that I may need to change gears in case things did not go well.

So for anyone I would say
1. Educate yourself... about the birthing process, interventions, actual signs of complications, etc.
2. Decide what you are comfortable with.
3. Communicate your expectations with your partner, Doc/Midwife, hospital staff... anyone you feel needs to know
4. Maintain a positive focus
5. And finally it really helps if you feel that you can trust your provider


Hope this makes sense... I am currently NAK so sorry if it doesn't! I generally just lurk, but I had to let you know that your first birth can definitely be an amazing and empowering experience... even in a hospital
post #35 of 64
I was preparing myself for a long, long, first birth since that is what i kept hearing about. Imagine my surprise when it was only about 3 hours long! I would read Spiritual Midwifry by Ina Mae Gaskin, lots of positive birth experinces and have a doula present if you can. Trust your own instincts! That's what I found works best. Birth is hard, hard work and it is uncomfortable but remember women are made to do it. It can be a great experience even your first time. Think of as running a marathon, hard, yes, pain, probably but it is not terrible and feels good at the end and the rewards are awesome
post #36 of 64
I am sorry you had to even ask the question - but I totally understand. For the most part, "civilized" society perpetuates a major fear cycle when it comes to birthing.

I, for one, had a great first birth. It was completely different than what I expected though. I took Bradley classes and all they talked about was how first time moms have long births - so get ready - and here are the stages/signposts, blah blah blah. Well, I had my first in 2 hrs. and 45 minutes. Major freight train birth! It was intense but I had confidence and support and I did it. I was with a midwife in her birth center (which is basically just someone else's house imo - might as well stay at home). I had my dh and my lovely midwives around me, whispering support, comforting me in any way. I was having back labor and I'll never forget the midwife slapping some kind of peppermint extract on my back and WHOOSH. It was like the pain evaporated! So cool. Then, right before ds was born she said "Your baby is about to be born in a room full of love." I whimpered a little - it was so sweet. He was born, they wrapped me in warm blankets fresh from the dryer (a ritual now with my births ) because the adrenaline usually leaves me "shakey." Then we slipped into an herbal bath with candles lit all around while we watched our baby's eyes open wide up and drink us in. I didn't ask for these things. They were just part of my midwives birthing routine I guess. Lucky for me!!

I wasn't doing cartwheels during the actual birth part but, yeah, it was still good because I was in good hands. I trusted and cared for the people that were with me. I knew they were there for me. I think that's a big factor going into birthing. Be in a place and with people you trust.

Now for the horror stories... I understand women need to process and talk about their births. I find myself talking about my births all the time - I love it! However, I don't perpetuate fear and I had some fear issues creep in after #2. When I talk to new moms I find myself trying to say as many positive things as possible just to balance out the fear laden stories they've heard. I think it's important to be respectful to those who need to "process" their difficult birth but, while pregnant myself, I won't listen to it. I don't need to hear it. I'm focusing on a healthy pregnancy and a wonderful birth. Those are my expectations and I believe words are powerful. I think other women can understand that. Seriously, before they get the first "OMG! My first birth was the worst!" out, I would stop them politely and kindly let them know that you are looking forward to having a great birth and you would be most appreciative if they helped you toward that goal by not imbedding any undue, unnecessary fear. Maybe too strong?? Oh well, I'm not so good with tact sometimes. In short, they can get on board or shut it

April

PS Like I said, I had some fear issues creep in after #2 but, honestly, I would say all my births were great. There are specific things that happened during each one that I just get so d@mn weepy over. Feeling #2's little head right inside my body - weird but sooooo cool! Having her slither into my hands. #3's birth was just so peaceful and quiet. The bag of water bursting right before I pushed - felt soooo good I think I started smiling! I could go on - but you get the picture. I don't think I'm "lucky" to have these kind of births. I think I make decisions that create a good birthing environment and I prepare my body and mind, kwim? I don't read "scary" birth books. I read practical and inspiring birth books.

HTH
post #37 of 64
I had a picture perfect birth in a hospital. I was 19 but read everything i could get my hands on about natural childbirth, lived on MDC, and had very supportive people all around me during the birth. I had a wonderful midwife and a very detailed birth plan. I went all natural and had the baby 4 hours after i got to the hospital. I labored with my family at home during the day and night till i was ready to go. I would think its most likely that your first birth would be the best because your body is more toned and in shape and your uterus is SO strong! Plus its sometimes better to NOT know whats going on and let your body do what its suppose to do. In the births since my first I thought more about things. I didnt always let my body do its job correctly and just cause you have done it once doesnt mean you are able to do it better the next time. Each birth is so different anyhow.

You will do great!! And i second, dont listen to others horror stories.
post #38 of 64
I had a wonderful first birth. I was at home, surrounded with love and so much support. Active labor was long, but when I was in the thick of it, time didn't matter. I was just focused on having my little one.
post #39 of 64
Another great first birth here! I can't wait to do it again -- the endorphins are such a high after, and I have this crystal-clear memory of my first sight of DS. I felt like my body gave me back 10 times what I asked it to do. It was hard, but miraculous. I agree with PPs; fill your head with great birth stories -- that kind of auto-suggestion is really powerful IMO.
post #40 of 64
It was great to find this thread. I am expecting my first, and currently plan on birthing at a birth center (the only one in CT). The birth center is over 1 hour away from where I live, but I really want that type of environment, and I really want a waterbirth. The only thing I am hestitant on is the fact that they release you 12 hours after your birth. Will I be ready to go home 12 hours after?
Another option is a midwife practice that delivers at a hospital (40 mins away). I do know many women who have had amazing natural births at this hospital with the midwives, but they do not have waterbirth as an option (or even a tub to labor in). Any suggestions?
Being a doula, I know how hospital births can end up (with sometimes un-needed interventions). That is why I am hesitant?
Any input is appreciated.
Rhon
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