my secret fear

[cravenab00]

i havent talked much about this IRL, because i dont want to deal with it really. We dont know the gender of this baby. We like it that way. Its bad enough that people give me crap about that. I have 3 sons, and a daughter. So everyone's first reaction is "i hope its a girl" i've even had a few "it better be a girl!" (what am i gonna do if its a boy, take it back?

i fear that no one will love this baby if its a boy. I truly do not care if its a girl, a boy, or a heffalump at this point, i just want to hold and snuggle my baby. Yes, there is a big part of me that wants another DD. Mainly, because i want my DD to have a sister. I fear she will be disappointed if she has yet another brother.

Today DS #2 had a dentist appointment. And he told everyone about how a new baby is coming soon. As we were leaving, the receptionist says to him "i hope you get a beautiful baby sister!" whats wrong with having a beautiful baby brother? it made me so sad.

right now, i want a girl, mainly because i dont want to see people reacting negatively, when i would say we have another son to love.

i'm really upset about this and i feel like no one understands.

[wife&mommy]

I am sorry you are going through this. We found out this baby was a girl (although I won't be convinced until it comes out) and I was so surprised at people's reactions. "Oh good one of each. Oh girls are so much more fun. Oh good you don't want 2 boys, etc. etc." It really drove me nuts, especially since we both were secretly wishing boy, mainly to give DS a brother since this will probably be our last (of course we were thrilled with a girl but just in shock). But anyway... I know what you mean... not totally but somewhat.

[mama2rey]

People are just so insensitive! Before we found out the sex of the baby people were asking me what we wanted (a baby?)

It's disrespectful to the baby-because what if it is a boy? I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm glad that your child has a sensitive mama that will love him/her no matter what!

[kittywitty]

I know the feeling. Everyone in dh's family is so set on this being a girl. They were telling us all this stuff before we had the u/s. We are pretty sure it is a girl between my dreams and a decent u/s shot. But if it's a boy, I don't want to hear them rattle on.

[starry_mama]

Thats really sad. I have 2 boys, and although random people have made comments like "I bet you're hoping for a girl!" and stuff, no one we know hsa said anything negative about possibly having another boy. I don't know if I could handle that. I'd probably not be able to talk to them or see them. Ever.

[stellimamo]

That sucks. Everyone says " Oh perfect now you have your set and you can be done." When we tell them we are having a boy. Like the sex of our children controls the number of kids we want to have.. :

[MCKH]

It's very rude of people to say things like that, or assume you'd prefer one gender over another. I have heard many times, "Oh great, a boy and a girl - that's perfect!" Huh? I was actually hoping for a sister for my daughter, although I am also thrilled to be the mother of a boy.

On another note, it's interesting that the trend in the US tends to be a preference for girl babies. I think in almost every other country, boys are the much preferred gender and it is considered "unfortunate" to have your first be a daughter. A woman who bears several is thought of us unlucky. In China you are even "allowed" to try for a a second child (in the hopes of conceiving a male) if your first is a girl.

[ghuaghua]

Originally Posted by stellimamo

That sucks. Everyone says " Oh perfect now you have your set and you can be done." When we tell them we are having a boy. Like the sex of our children controls the number of kids we want to have.. :

I get this one ALL THE TIME too...I guess people just have more than 2 children because they failed to have one of each?
:

[cravenab00]

yes! i get that too. "I hope this one is a girl, so that you can be "done" "

my first was a boy, and then i had a girl, and i got the "oh good, you have one of each, you can be done now"

why is it anyone's business???

people suck.

[Momma2DoubleCuties]

I get that too. Just because I have 2 boys doesn't mean I don't want another. If someone walked up and said you can choose what sex I'd like. I honestly wouldn't know which one to choose. I LOVE being a boy momma. We have such a great bond with each other. So when we found out we were having another boy everyone was bummed and kept saying oh well you gotta try one more time then. Ughhh...I don't care what sex this baby is. Boy or girl I will love them just the same.

[Beppie]

We have just one dd so far, and when people ask me if I know what it is and I say "it's a girl!" You can just see their minds thinking, oh, another girl.

That drives me nuts! I really don't mind if I have 10 girls and no boys, kids are kids, and that's why we're having a baby, not because we want a boy or girl!

so yes, I can understand why it annoys you. And I can't believe people would actually SAY those things to you out loud. Don't they realize what they're saying?

[Mom2Wilmo]

I always answer, "We are so excited to ba having another boy it just works out perfectly for us."
I know it doesn't help since you don't know the sex but maybe you could say "We are just so excited to be having another baby, I can't imagine not being happy with whatever sex it is." Right when they ask what you are having.
Then they are the jerks if they dare say anything negative after that. You haven't really given them a choice to not be on your side.