I think I have PPD

[*Lindsey*]

My only emotion lately seems to be pissed off or aggravated. Not so much with Hazel and Lucy, but with my older kids. I feel so put out when I have to do things for them. It makes me incredibly sad b/c they've done absolutely nothing to deserve this. : I'm not having crazy thoughts of harming anyone, but today I wanted to run away from these 4 walls and never return. The constant screaming and juggling needs is making me nuts.

I called DH and bawled to him and he tells me to relax. It's not that simple. This morning I woke up in a foul mood for no apparent reason.

Suffice it to say, I get the world's worst mom award today. I feel so horrible for my kids.

I put in a call to my doctor (I saw her Monday at my 6 wk pp check and we discussed ppd a bit. She said to let her know if I started feeling that I wasn't functioning at my optimum level.) She'l be back in the office on Friday, so I'll call her then.

It's easy to put on a happy face and hide the way I'm feeling from everyone.

[monocyte]

I had issues after DS #1 was born, but very much delayed - probably 13-14 months or so. And then I hit a wall after a few m/c's. It is hard, and Im sure its doubly as hard for you with 2 new ones, and the older ones as well. I had the anger, yelling side of it. I wasnt really weepy, just generally mad at the world, and DH esp for no reason...


Is there anyone around that could just come and hang out with you? I felt somewhat better after seeing some friends that I really could talk openly with, esp one who was going through the same sort of thing.

Do call on Friday. You don't need to be feeling like this!

[De-lovely]

Please call mama.....you are soooo not alone though. BIG BIG hugs!!!

[Curlita]

I have been thinking the same thing about myself... you have a lot on your plate, and twice as much adjustment to do as those of us with only one new baby. Keep us posted on what your doc says... I'm not sure any of us are functioning at our optimum level right now.

[renaissanceed]

Hugs Lindsey. Do call your doctor and talk to her about this. If you need meds to help you through this, better to get them sooner than later.

As for functioning at your 'optimal' level - who's doing that at 6 wks PP with newborn twins & two toddlers?? I think you should be proud to survive each day - don't know how you're doing it.

[*Lindsey*]

I called but she won't be back in until Friday (tomorrow). The nurse said she'd put a note on my chart and have it ready for her.

DH thinks that maybe I just had a bad day. And maybe I did, but I don't want to get caught in a downward spiral and be out of control before I realize something's wrong. Yesterday was a really bad day, I reminded myself so much of my mother.

Today is a new day!

[isosmom]

nak
Just wanted to offer some hugs and btdt.
It can be so hard when we feel like bad mamas. You are an incredible mama and woman. I'm glad you're asking for help now. There should be no shame in it.
And bad days suck so much more when we're mamas.

[Isaac'sMa]

Originally Posted by renaissanceed

As for functioning at your 'optimal' level - who's doing that at 6 wks PP with newborn twins & two toddlers?? I think you should be proud to survive each day - don't know how you're doing it.

: Hugs, Lindsey. I couldn't read and not post. What's going well for you today? Something, I hope!

[Kontessa]

See I did not think the grumpy anger mommy could be PP, thank you for bringing this up. I am not so much depressed but everything little thing Pisses me off. I have never been like this. My poor DC as well. And poor hubby. He comes home with all this patience expecting me to be the peaceful parent I have always strived for and here I am something neither of us are used too. I have actually YELLED and after my DS hit me I put him in his room for 10 minutes where he screamed as if I did not put him some place I was going to hit him back! I KNOW that punishment will not correct why he hit me but I needed him to be the heck away from me for a few minutes.

Anyway.... your such a smart mama and I think it is good you called and keep on top of this.

How are you doing now?

Blessings,
Kimmy

[*Lindsey*]

Today is proving to be a MUCH better day. But I know that doesn't mean I don't have PPD, but it makes me feel like a better mama!

The twins woke up at 6:45AM and went back down after nursing. I stayed up and had almost an hour of quiet time to myself. I was able to pray and eat breakfast in peace! When DS got up he was in a good mood (which helps a lot). I only yelled once today!

It would help if the weather was nice and sunny and warm so we could all get outside. We all are a lot happier that way. Guess I'll have to wait a few more months for that.