Originally Posted by cycle
I would bet that most kids from blended families would tell you that the custodial home is their home. Whether its mom's or dad's.
Its not a bad things for the kids to have one place to call home, kids in split custody situations typically have a hard time and don't feel like either parent's home is home, but that its mom's house and dad's house.
I have never heard one child, teenager or adult from a situation where there is a custodial home and a non-custodial home (the home they visit every weekend) call the NCH home. Its home and NCP'c house.
In my state (WI), every weekend wouldn't be considered CP and NCP--it's joint physical placement. Anything over 25% of the time is joint. Anyhow...
We have weekends, vacations, and much of summer--it's about 60/40 when all is said and done. When SD is here, here is "home." When she's out and wants to go "home," she is not talking about her mom's (when she wants her mom, she says "I want my mom"). When she's with her mom, I'd assume mom's house is "home" the same way. This is what she says, though--I obviously don't know what's in her head.
Even if we assume that the OP's stepchild believes mom's home is home--is it really a good idea for mom to reinforce the idea? That ornament, in this situation, just implies: "Home is where mom is. Therefore, when you're with your dad and stepmom, you're not at home." (Again, in another situation, this ornament may be very appropriate, but when the mom is sending her kid the message that her "real" family is her mom's and dad is irrelevant, it's not.)
On edit: That said, I agree with a PP who said there isn't much you should do about it. If the girl likes the ornament, that's important. If you think that the mom is trying to undermine your husband (and you, but specifically your husband) as parents, this ornament is probably just a small part of a much bigger discussion, and your husband should be focusing on that bigger discussion. I don't know what to do about that--if it rises to parental alienation, you may have a cause of action, but not really much until then. It might just be something to vent about here, and keep away from your child unless it becomes necessary.