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Good Information Needed for the Locker Room Debate

post #1 of 78
Thread Starter 
My husband's concern with the whole circ issue is whether our son will feel *different* by being intact. Of course, with my current large circle of friends most of the boys are intact but I do realize that not everyone is as crunchy as our gang.
I'm just looking for some feedback on information I could pass on to my guy that might help aid my stance...
TIA
post #2 of 78
If he had red hair, he could be teased, too? If he had glasses/a goofy smile/a club foot, he could be teased?
One of my friends has a comeback about how many quarters he can carry with his foreskin- and everybody laughs and no more is said. My two intact brothers were never teased about it, and are very happy they have it! Honestly, kids are going to get teased about something.

If your kid feels "different" he will probably say something to you at the time. I know lots of girls that felt "different" because they had or didn't have boobs... but none of their parents surgically altered them as children. If your son decides he wants it done when he is a legal adult, then, well, he can.
post #3 of 78
I have two things to say:

1. Female perspective - I had breasts (not buds BOOBS!) by the time I was 10. We are talking D cup going into junior high, when most of my peers were going, "Gee? Is it time to maybe, kind of, start thinking about getting a training bra?" No one would advocate that I cut off my breasts so as not to look different than all the other girls changing for gym.

2. Male perspective - I have asked my husband if a lot of the guys he went to school with were intact. His response was, "How would I know?!" I then asked, "Well, don't guys look?" "LOOK AT WHAT?!"

So, I guess it's not true that all guys compare themselves to all other guys.
post #4 of 78
My husband is intact. He tells me that guys NEVER checked each other out in the gym locker room, and if they did, they certainly didn't admit it to anyone. So no, he never once got teased about being intact and is inclined to think that's a myth promoted by those with an agenda toward RIC.
post #5 of 78
Ok, hubby was in the navy right after high school, and said no one would dare look in the shower, in case someone thought they were gay. And it was never an issue in school, gym class, etc. In the navy, they did compare the size of their crap all the time, though :
post #6 of 78
Yeah! to all the previous posts. Neither of my sons is circ'd and our midwife told us about 40% of kids are not circ'd now.
post #7 of 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post

2. Male perspective - I have asked my husband if a lot of the guys he went to school with were intact. His response was, "How would I know?!" I then asked, "Well, don't guys look?" "LOOK AT WHAT?!"

So, I guess it's not true that all guys compare themselves to all other guys.
post #8 of 78
My DH said noone looked either - not at school and not when he was in hockey. He said he *thinks* there were guys who were intact on his hockey team but doesn't remember because it was a total non-issue.
post #9 of 78
Dp's response to the locker room argument: "the guy who is caught looking at another guy's penis or says something about another guy's penis would be the one getting teased...or worse..." He said no one ever looked or commented on each other's stuff in school. Since the circ rate is around 50% in most areas, girls will be used to seeing both and probably won't make a big deal out of it.
post #10 of 78
Ya, i definately agree with the making fun of the person looking thing.... I can't remember if it was here or not, but someone said their kid had someone say something when he was at the urinal and his reply was something like, "what are you laughing at, you are the one with half your penis cut off".
post #11 of 78
When I talked to dh about "the locker room argument," his response was, "Honey, the rule of the locker room is don't look."
post #12 of 78
My dh said the same thing. That's you'd have to be crazy to be looking!
post #13 of 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by thixle View Post
My two intact brothers were never teased about it, and are very happy they have it! If your son decides he wants it done when he is a legal adult, then, well, he can.


both were born in the circ happy 80s and live in'soggy' PA
post #14 of 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoMama View Post
When I talked to dh about "the locker room argument," his response was, "Honey, the rule of the locker room is don't look."
:
When I first started posting here, my youngest ds was still at home. I asked him if he'd ever been teased for being intact, and he looked at me as if I had two heads! He also said something similar to the above.
post #15 of 78
My teen sons, who are active in certain sports, and actually shower for gym (something that seems to be going out of style). It has never been discussed, but they are showing no signs of angst because they have a foreskin.

It's only one data point, but an acquaintance (with whom I had never discussed circ), recently had a boy in a large university hospital near here, was changing her 6 - mo old, and he is intact. They are not the least bit crunchy, so maybe neonatal circ is really on the way out around here.
post #16 of 78
My 13 yr. old nephew is intact and he is probably one of the few in his class that is. Anyway, he has gym everyday and I asked him about the locker room thing and he said No way does that happen. They all try to change as fast as they can and avoid looking at each other. BTW he is very happy his parents chose to leave him intact!
post #17 of 78
I'll let you in on a little secret. This article explains your dh's real concerns:

http://www.stopcirc.com/vincent/vuln...ty_of_men.html


(But obviously don't share the article with your dh. It's just for you to read and think about.)
post #18 of 78
I will second what has already been said. It is not an issue and flawed logic to use this worry to support RIC.

I will add an interesting parallel with school uniforms, for what it is worth. My son's school was considering uniforms. One of the argumants was it would cut down on teasing kids because of their clothes. My son had recently been teased because he was wearing white boxer style underwear, which, by the way was not uncommon. Do we also have to make them all wear the same underwear? Teasing willl happen. No matter what. Make them wear unfiroms, other kids will still find something to tease others about. I bet, even if we could make everyone identical twins, they would still tease each other....

But that in no way justifies harming a child, going against the Hypocratic Oath, and ignoring our responsibilty to put the childs interest first.

Regards
post #19 of 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama369
My husband is intact. He tells me that guys NEVER checked each other out in the gym locker room, and if they did, they certainly didn't admit it to anyone. So no, he never once got teased about being intact and is inclined to think that's a myth promoted by those with an agenda toward RIC.
:
My dp is also intact and was never teased in the locker room.
post #20 of 78
I know a man that was born in the early 80s, grew up in Utah, and when asked if he was teased said, "Why would I be teased about it?" with a look on his face that said it never happened. However, the reality is that some boys are teased (I know a woman online that circ'd her son because her dh was "ridiculed" throughout high school for being intact. It always bugged me when she would post on sex topics with NONE of the problems everyone else was talking about). But, I was teased about a lot of things, like having white-blonde hair, but I never wanted to change that, and that would have been easy, painless, and not permanent. I just chocked it up to people being jealous that I had such gorgeous hair and they didn't If you teach your son to be proud of his body, of what he has that they don't, of what happened to them (and maybe a few good comebacks), then it won't be an issue. Even if he is teased, which isn't likely anyway, it won't mean that he will wish he was circ'd.
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