I am so sorry and I will be thinking of you both
post #21 of 66
12/15/07 at 9:56am
Thanks so much, everyone. It is so warning to see people here offering support and hugs and words of kindness for little ole me and my family. Very humbling.
I saw him yesterday, to fill out the forms to allow the facility temporary "custody". He went through the expected stages of asking to be taken home, then begging, then blaming, then yelling and arguing, and then things got very ugly. I was escorted out and he was semi-restrained as he was trying to charge me. I stayed calm the entire time and was loving but firm, "You need to be here right now. I love you too much to let this opportunity for help slip us by". etc.
It was bad. I felt so broken. I do know that this is the absolute right thing for him and our family but it's a crappy thing to live through. There is so much guilt, pain, sadness, and fear. I have had one of those years that no one imagines having....really. And this is icing on the cake.
I want him to be better. I know its going to be a tough road. But man, I think back to taking him this teeny little cherub, all of 6 pounds. His spirit has always been love and light. You just wonder how you got here.
Your DS is lucky to have such a strong mama fighting to get him the help he needs.
Sending live and light and best wishes to you, your son, and your family in this difficult time. :
I'm so sorry you're going through this. My 17-yo dd was voluntarily committed this October, and it was so hard. I can imagine how much more difficult it must be when your ds does not want to be there. I hope he gets the help he needs.
I've also spent many hours wondering how my even-tempered, good-natured little girl ended up so depressed that she needed confinement. Do not take it on yourself; try to move forward by getting him whatever help he needs.
|I feel very broken. I KNOW it's the best and right thing but it hurts so much to sit here eating my blueberry muffin and coffee with my family, knowing he is experiencing his own personal hell and I put him there.|