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How do you feel about this? - Page 3

post #41 of 91

I think it's wrong in every way.

You, Queenjane, are totally right, imo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by queenjane View Post
But just because YOUR child can remember, doesnt mean ALL children can remember.

I also think that you are assuming all parents are as involved as you are. Your five yr old only remembers, because you've instilled in him that its important....what if you had alot of other things going on in your life (whether because you were working three jobs, or had six other kids, or because you had issues like drug or alcohol dependancy, or because school issues just werent important to you...), and therefore your child didnt get the support at home to do his homework or remember to bring it in? So that child gets punished because his mother dropped the ball?

I personally think that rewards are often just the flip side of punishments. Imagine being the only five yr old in a class who forgot his assignment, and having to watch all the other kids enjoy their treat. Personally, i dont think thats a very effective way to teach "good habits".....my son will never forget (and he's 11!)when he brought cupcakes into his K class for his birthday, and was told one particular child couldnt have one because he didnt finish his work. It was sad. These are 5 yr olds! If a child is forgetting his homework, the teacher should come up with creative/effective ways to help him remember it (and may include talking to the parent to see if there's an issue at home)....not singling out the child for punishment.


Katherine
I resent that my dd ever has this food/goody reward and punishment system in her current class with teacher Cruella De Ville II. All the time. I resent anyone taking the liberty of giving my child candy (I do it all the time myself, but she's MY child!).

Giving kids SWEETS when they are not going to be brushing their teeth for hours is detrimental to dental health=BAD HABIT

Motivating good behavior with sweets sets up equating sweets with being good=BAD HABIT

VF
post #42 of 91
I don't believe in homework for kindergarten.

I don't think that any child should be punished and made to feel guilty because he forgot to bring something to school.

And in any event, I don't think that children should view schoolwork as a kind of chore for which we need to give them candy to get them to hand in. And certainly not in kindergarten.
post #43 of 91
:
post #44 of 91
I'm not reading any responses, so I wont be swayed.

I'm perfectly fine with it. Kids love and deserve the occasional treat. If a parent is completely against all sugar, they should provide the teacher with an acceptable alternative.
post #45 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by meaghann View Post
I wouldn't be too crazy about candy as a good work habit breeder, and I would find a nice way to ask her to exclude my son
I agree with this - especially since my DS has pretty serious food allergies.
post #46 of 91
I would speak to the teacher about giving healthy treats.If she doesnt want to then send a healthy alternative for your child
post #47 of 91
Candy wouldn't motivate our son. He can eat it when he wants.

Pat
post #48 of 91
In California it's against the law. Yep, you read it right....against state legislation. Arnold signed a bill called the Healthy School Now Act that includes two bills in legislation. Teachers, and admin. are NOT allowed to give or sell candy and soda before, during, and an hour after school. Snacks sold at school must meet a certain criteria. No more soda machines. So teachers are not allowed to give candy, even one small starburst as a reward, ever. Where do you live?
post #49 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker'smommy View Post
In California it's against the law. Yep, you read it right....against state legislation. Arnold signed a bill called the Healthy School Now Act that includes two bills in legislation. Teachers, and admin. are NOT allowed to give or sell candy and soda before, during, and an hour after school. Snacks sold at school must meet a certain criteria. No more soda machines. So teachers are not allowed to give candy, even one small starburst as a reward, ever. Where do you live?
I'm moving.

ANd this guy can't be president?
post #50 of 91
Quote:
I don't believe in homework for kindergarten.
This was one of my big issues with ds kindergarten. He had homework and a homework folder that had to be sent to and from school everyday. I don't have a problem with the candy, but do see how it would be devistating for a child to not get candy when the rest of the class did. We are VERY unorganized here, and ds goes to daycare, so he has many opportunities to loose a folder, and did. He has also lost at daycare a few library books and a school book. He's in first grade now, and while we tell him that he needs to leave all his things in his book bag until he gets home it doesn't always work that way. There are many things that may cause a child not to bring a folder back to school. Around our house it was more like some of the work that was sent home was for parents to do rather than for the children. We try to make a habit (or I do anyway) of making sure homework is done first thing when we get home and then the folder goes right back into the bag, however because of work I'm not always home in the evening and ds might spend a few hours at grandma's before dh gets home, that adds one more place for things to get lost. Sorry, I kinda highjacked and rambled. I also probably lost my point.
post #51 of 91
I would have a problem with it. Unfortunately, it sounds quite similar to what went on all the time when DS attended school for two years. I think it's become normal in the school system to constantly hand out rewards and treats, often in the form of sugar. DS frequently came home with his healthy lunch still packed in his bag because he'd eaten candy and chips instead. What a great set-up for a sensitive child to have a crappy evening!

Anyhow, I think that you could approach the teacher about it but it'll be something that comes up repeatedly in the school system. If these kinds of things are deal-breakers for you, you might want to check into homeschooling. That's what worked for us!
post #52 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Viewfinder View Post
Giving kids SWEETS when they are not going to be brushing their teeth for hours is detrimental to dental health=BAD HABIT
VF
I was reading the whole thread looking for a mention of dental health in here! Thank you!

I cringe at the thought of DD eating candy first thing in the morning when she gets to school and then not brushing her teeth until bed time. Especially something as sticky as a starburst. Just the dental geek in me, I suppose, but this is the first thing that came to mind. Not rewards and punishments, not parenting styles, or responsibilities, not whether homework in K is good or bad, but PLAQUE!!! Without thinking at all about whether or not the reward system itself should be used here, I would be much more comfortable if there wasn't candy involved.
post #53 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logan's mommy View Post
We try to make a habit (or I do anyway) of making sure homework is done first thing when we get home and then the folder goes right back into the bag, however because of work I'm not always home in the evening and ds might spend a few hours at grandma's before dh gets home, that adds one more place for things to get lost. Sorry, I kinda highjacked and rambled. I also probably lost my point.
Actually, I think you've just made an excellent point! Don't at least 50% of school-aged children have both parents working outside the home? It doesn't seem fair to me to reward half the class (or whatever percentage it is) for having a SAHP who's able to keep all the loose ends tied up (and even many SAHP's may have lots of other stuff on their plates), and punish the other kids for coming from homes where sometimes life gets in the way.
post #54 of 91
Quote:
Actually, I think you've just made an excellent point! Don't at least 50% of school-aged children have both parents working outside the home? It doesn't seem fair to me to reward half the class (or whatever percentage it is) for having a SAHP who's able to keep all the loose ends tied up (and even many SAHP's may have lots of other stuff on their plates), and punish the other kids for coming from homes where sometimes life gets in the way.
I do not think it is a SAHP vs a WOHP issue -- even if you work out side the home and DH does too, you are still the parent and still responible for all things parental -- permission slips, getting things to school, home work getting done and so on ............ thoese responiblies are not ONLY the responiblity of a parent at home ..... so an at home parent and a working parent have a differnt system, have differnt ways of doing things -- MAYBE -- but all the same things have to get done

If doeswn't matter if a praten wroks our side the home, how many hours or anything -- they still have to meet their parental responiblities regarding school one way or another ...............

I know MANY parents who work who would be insulted to have it implied they are less involved in school (or whatever) because they work -- they do all the same stuff i do.... just some times differntly.

AImee
post #55 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma Aimee View Post
I know MANY parents who work who would be insulted to have it implied they are less involved in school (or whatever) because they work -- they do all the same stuff i do.... just some times differntly.

AImee
I dont think its an issue of being less "involved" but rather a time issue. When i was working fulltime outside of the home (now i work fulltime caring for my mom, at her home), at an office job, and my son attended school...there was soooo much less time to get things done. I would work til five or later, pick him up from afterschool program, possibly stop and get groceries or take out or go out to eat...by the time we were home, and settled, and lets say bath or whatever..it was bedtime. There is a big difference in time when your kid gets home at 3:30, and when you get home after six oclock. There were days that i honestly did not want to struggle with him to color in little ditto sheets at night.

Thats not to say that all WOH parents dont have time, or that SAH parents dont have alot on their plate....its more of an individual issue than that. But add in the fact that sometimes my son would be dropped off to school by me, then picked up by his father (who did not live with us), then transferred to grandma's house if dad had to go to work, then picked up by me late....can you see how in all that shuffle homework COULD get lost? There were days that my son spent the night at his dad's house and then was dropped off at school...i couldnt control what his dad did and at times he couldnt even remember to feed or bathe the kid, let alone send homework back to school.

Regardless, the point still stands that most five year olds in the absence of a parent helping them to remember will not remember to bring homework back on Thursday. And if thats the case, then is it the child or the parent getting the "reward"??


Katherine
post #56 of 91
Quote:
the point still stands that most five year olds in the absence of a parent helping them to remember will not remember to bring homework back on Thursday.
I agree

but

my point is this

it doesn't matter if the mom and dad both work or not -- homework still has to get done, and turned in, ON TIME be it for the candy or not, .......having a dule working couple for parents does not give a child a pass on getting the homework done and turned in. It doesn't matter if it is getting getting a reward or not -- even without the candy the homework folder would still be due and the working parent would still have to find a system for making sure it got turned in.




nad really ...........

Quote:
Giving kids SWEETS when they are not going to be brushing their teeth for hours
most schools do not have kids brush after lunch, or after any other in-class snack (DN has 2 snacks, am and pm in his all day kindergarden class puls lunch) ...............

and really

do YOU always rush off to brush your teeth each and every time you take a bite of anything? I am lucky to get to bruch mine twice a day and more often than not miss the night time brush due to getting kids to bed ....

really ........
post #57 of 91
[/QUOTE]homework still has to get done, and turned in, ON TIME be it for the candy or not[/QUOTE]

We run into the problem that ds's folder isn't getting turned in. He is in first grade, and he gets the homework done and it's in his book bag he just doesn't give it to the teacher (which is really a whole other problem )
post #58 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmlp View Post
I don't believe in homework for kindergarten.

I don't think that any child should be punished and made to feel guilty because he forgot to bring something to school.

And in any event, I don't think that children should view schoolwork as a kind of chore for which we need to give them candy to get them to hand in. And certainly not in kindergarten.
I agree with all of that. On the other hand, as a mom with a child in public school, I've long since accepted that I don't get to dictate how the teacher runs the class.

That doesn't mean that I just throw up my hands about everything. If I believe something that's going on in the classroom is detrimental to my son's well-being, I'll certainly address it. For example, I hate homework. For the most part, I believe it's a bunch of crap and interferes with time that kids should be spending with their friends, with their family, and doing interesting things that enhance learning (which most homework doesn't) and enrich their lives. That said, am I going to throw a fit about one or two worksheets a week? Of course not. Am I going to address the situation if my kid starts coming home with 30-45 minutes of homework? You bet. With gusto.

I've had to let a few things go when I put my son into school. The rewards thing is one of those. We don't do arbitrary rewards at home; never have (and candy absolutely is arbitrary because it has nothing logical to do with bringing a folder back). Ds' classroom, they do rewards. Not candy, but they get stickers for bringing in their Friday folders and those go toward filling up a bucket with bears (as do random other things - when the teacher notices good behavior, etc. - kind of like house points in Harry Potter ). When the bucket is full, they get to have a party of their choosing. I don't like it. However, I understand where the teacher is coming from. I can't honestly say I wouldn't resort to the same thing if there were 20 of them and 1 of me.

I also think my kid is smart enough to understand that we don't do things the same way at home. Last year, when he first went to K, he picked up a mess he had made in the living room and said, "Do I get rewarded for that?" I said, "you bet." Went over, gave him a huge hug and said, "I really appreciate you cleaning up the mess you made. It makes our living space so much nicer, don't you think?" It wasn't what he was looking for, but he got the point.

Anyway... that was a freaking book. Long story short, I'm of the "pick your battles" mindset. If this is a health issue, then by all means. If it's not, one small piece of candy in school as a reward - probably taking all of 5 seconds from the giving to the eating - isn't going to wreck your kid's health, physical or mental.
post #59 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
Not candy, but they get stickers for bringing in their Friday folders and those go toward filling up a bucket with bears (as do random other things - when the teacher notices good behavior, etc. - kind of like house points in Harry Potter ). When the bucket is full, they get to have a party of their choosing. I don't like it. However, I understand where the teacher is coming from. I can't honestly say I wouldn't resort to the same thing if there were 20 of them and 1 of me..
See as far as rewards go, i kinda like this idea....no one child is singled out as not getting the reward, yet there CAN be some sense of "peer pressure" to do well...so other kids might encourage others to be nicer, do their work on time, etc, to benefit the class as a whole. Rather than one child not getting to participate. And i like that things that kids are more in control of (like good behavior in class, doing extra work, whatever)also gets rewarded instead of just something the kid might not get to control (bringing in homework).


Katherine
post #60 of 91
Quote:
We run into the problem that ds's folder isn't getting turned in. He is in first grade, and he gets the homework done and it's in his book bag he just doesn't give it to the teacher (which is really a whole other problem )
This is a problem we had in both K and in first grade. In K, my son packed a lunch the first few days, but i guess he was the only kid who did, everyone else bought their lunch...i guess? Because he would come home with his full lunch still in his backpack, and a note in his pocket that said "Seamus owes forty cents for lunch." Grrr....how hard would it be to ask him to remember his lunch? But instead, they would line the kids up, walk them over to the big school for lunch, and he wouldnt even know what was going on til he was in line and they wanted money and he didnt have any. So i stopped packing, and just started sending money, which i made sure to put in his pants pocket each morning so he could just reach in and get it...if i put it anywhere else (like his backpack)he could not remember.

In first grade, at the parent teacher conference, his teacher was complaining to us that he never turned in his big homework packet...i said "Yes he did, i know he did it because i helped him with it" (normally i would just let him not do homework as it seemed like a waste of time to do busywork like that), she said no, i said "i'm sure you have it" so she went and got the box of homework packets...yep there was my son's. She had merely lost it. Great. :


Katherine
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