Originally Posted by jessjgh1
I agree w A&A and the siggie:
Circumcision is a violent wound on the body of a boy and the heart of a mother.
Sadly, we have to fight so hard for our births to be gentle, from the issue of circumcision to all the standard interventions pushed that interfere with the normal process of birth
sometimes it helps dp's to understand when looking at the big picture of our birth culture- which i'm sure you will get w/ bradley.
Yes, as Jessica and A&A posted, if it is any consolation, he will almost definitely "get over it" fairly quickly...
My DP was pretty much over it after the first few days (and I think he was worried about how to approach any criticism from his family or friends that expected us to circ...while he was doing diaper changes...etc)..
Originally, we were head to head on this issue... he was adamant about my DS being circ'd... I stood firm and would not sway or budge and said absolutely not, no negotiating. (I also cried about this, but did it out of his presence so that he would not think that he had any sort of influence on me emotionally regarding this issue whatsoever). I know it is hard, especially when you are pregnant and emotionally charged, but it might be best NOT to discuss this (AT ALL anymore, and at least not..) while you are upset (he may see this as a window of opportunity-thinking you will only put up with so much before you cave in)...
Fast forward almost three years and my DP is very one of the strongest advocates AGAINST routine infant circumcision now.
It seems as if you are confident in following your intuition not to circ. I would be lying if I said that I suspected a possibility that I might see an updated post from you that you allowed your DS to be circ'd... IT seems you are set with the idea of leaving your son whole, but just having so much trouble dealing with DH over it... so stressful!
Maybe your hubby is (sub)/consciously repulsed by the thought of an intact penis (or being confronted with your son's) because it is a reality check. It is something that will remind him of how he once was and he may think it will emotionally torture him... all of these are highly likely, although he will use the fronts/excuses that he's already provided...and as you stated, these are all emotionally charged. The atmosphere when discussing it is probably more than he can bear and the thought of handling your son with something that he was stripped of as an infant may really be eating at him. POOR GUY! I feel bad for your husband!
I really think after the first few days, after seeing your son's beautiful whole body, he will fall in love, be so overwhelmed (excited/tired/in love!) with your new baby that this lingering argument between you both will disappear..at least dwindle.. there will be so many more important things to tend to.
This may also be about him kind of living vicariously through your babe. He was not afforded the basic right of being allowed to make the decision of whether or not he was cut, so maybe now is his opportunity.. this one issue that he thinks he can persuade you to give him control over (although he is also pushing to circ/as opposed to being on the other side of the fence..HE may think that making this decision is his way to stay in control) .. am I making sense? (probably not...I can't articulate well what I am thinking right now)
He told you this is the one thing he can't agree with you on for a reason... it is soooo extremely personal to him... he feels he can maintain whatever control he thinks he may (but didn't) have, by making an executive decision about your son's genitals-which of course is your SON'S personal business...not your husbands (which I know, you know)
(The Vulnerability of Men is an excellent article...)
Good luck with everything, Wishing you the best for a wonderful birthing experience and less stress from your hubby.