Frustrated!

[jadzia's_mommy]

It seems like everyone I know ends up having a c-section. I have a friend who just gave birth a few days ago. She really wanted to have a med free, natural birth. Was very confident about it. However, her water broke, she went to the hospital and after 15 hours of labor they started scaring her with stories of infection and convinced her to induce. Well, you know the rest--induction led to epidural, epidural led to c-section.

I was super positive with her on the phone, because i know she was really upset and sad about it. But inside I couldn't help getting upset myself. 15 hours? They couldn't have let her labor naturally longer than 15 hours? I mean, wtf? Here they have someone they know is trying to do things naturally, but it just seems like if you're in a hospital, they do not care. This is one of those birth centers attached to a hospital, that looks all homey and stuff. But it is still a hospital in mindset.

I get that some women do have to have it. I have one friend who has a clotting disorder and I think she would have had to have a c-section regardless. But why is it everyone does it? Why is it no one seems to be able to go through a natural birth?

Anyway, I'm just bummed for my friends. The last 4 or 5 women I know who have had babies over the past year or so have had c-section. It seems like I'm the only one who didn't. It's so weird to me.

[OTMomma]

People just don't trust birth. Out of about 7 people I know who had babies this year, I"m the only one who waited for labor to actually start, all the others were induced. Some wanted to be induced, others were pressed to do so by their doctors. Thankfully, not all of them ended with c-sections.
I think if you want a natural hospital birth, its best to not go to the hospital until you are ready to push. But I had a homebirth this time.

[shanniesue2]

The way I try to look at it is this... if a woman is comfortable with her birth experience, then I try not to worry about it. Some ladies at church today were talking about their experiences... one lady had had 2 c/s and the other was talking about how her oldest was born with a vacuum that caused a calcium deposit in his scalp and made something go wonky with one of his eyes for about a year... However, neither of these ladies seemed upset or traumatized by their births... they were both laughing and talking just like everything was perfectly normal. The c/s lady was hailing c/s because her babies came out with perfectly shaped heads. I thought about saying something and then I rethought and decided that it wouldn't do anyone any good for me to try and convince them that they most likely didn't have to go through these types of births. I thought about praising all the benefits of a completely unmedicated, vaginal birth... but then I changed my mind. These ladies were obviously comfortable with their experience, and it wouldn't be right of me to take that away from them. Just like it wouldn't be right of them to try and be negative about my decision to hb.

Now in the case of someone who does feel bad about their birth experience... I think that listening and providing information about how they could avoid a similar experience if they plan to have another baby would be helpful.

[dex_millie]

OP I hear what you saying. I just had a friend that wanted it natural to and ended up w\ a c-sec, not sure what happened yet, as she has been iccelated(sp?) since the birth(a month ago). My cousin SO also had a c-sec. DH SIL tried a induction(before the due date, but it didn't work) because she was tired of being pregnant: My cousin was doing fine w/ labor and she said she only took the epidural because the nurse keep bugging her about it:

I am started to be like whatever when it comes to these pregnant women and labor. Doctors is always right and always do the right thing:

[jadzia's_mommy]

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't really get myself too worked up about it. Most of my friends don't seem particularly phased by it. But this last one I know really wanted a natural birth and I know they probably induced her way earlier than was necessary. She told me she cried when they told her they wanted to induce. She didn't want it, but they scared her so badly that she felt like she had to. The baby wasn't in distress or anything, they'd just hit this magical 15 hour number where they start saying if they don't induce there could be an infection. Obviously I have not expressed my doubts to her, because she doesn't need to hear that at this point. I'm just sad for her that she now describes her birth experience as "pure hell" when I know it didn't have to be that way.

[Violet2]

I got lucky. Like your friend, my water broke. Labor was non-existent, the baby didn't drop, I was at 2cm for 24 hours even with pitocin. The baby was at -2 station for 24 hours. And contrary to what I've read here, my waters did not magically reseal themselves to delay birth for a better time.

The only reason I didn't have a c-section as a matter of course was b/c my OB did actually listen to my birth preferences and did his best to give me a shot at vaginal birth (he actually told me that post-partum). Plus I had a doula which I think said something to the staff about my intentions. And my body did eventually get its act together and dilate and my LO finally dropped, ironically after they turned off the Pitocin and just as they were prepping me for an emergency c-section due to heart decelerations.

So I did birth vaginally after 36 hours. I had almost every intervention except the c-section.

But it was a double edged victory. On the one hand, I birthed vaginally. On the other, my LO had swallowed meconium and we both had fevers and my LO spent the first two days in the NICU. A c-section might've spared her that and actually made bfing easier and reunited us much sooner.

I'm sure women are pushed into c-sections irresponsibly, but there are also times when it's just not so cut and dry. And it really seems to matter how vocal we are as patients as my conversations with the OB really helped.

V