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How old is too old to have another babY?

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 
I am 37. If I got pregnant now I'd be almost 38 when the baby was born. The baby's siblings would be 3 and 6.

DH is not in favor of going through another babyhood. He'd rather adopt an older child, like at least 18 mos.

I want to have another baby. I think.

There are many good reasons not to have another baby. But, I want one.

I really do.
post #2 of 91
My mother was 42 when she had my littlest sister! (She did have a miscarriage after that, which may or may not have been related to her age). She was talking about this the other day... said she felt bad about how she'd raised us older kiddies, but that now she was older she felt much more relaxed raising R and A, which is definitely true. On the other hand, she does get pretty tired. So, you know... pros and cons. If you did choose to have another baby, his/her siblings wouldn't be too much older, which is nice. Mum had R after a big (eight-year) gap, and if she hadn't had A too it might have been pretty lonely for R with all her grown-up sisters.
post #3 of 91
My MIL was 38 when dh was born and 40 when SIL was born. They are the youngest two of five. I wouldn't say it's too old.
post #4 of 91
I don't think you're too old. My grandma had her last baby at 43. A firend of mine had her second baby at 42 (she had her first at 23, I think). She has a 2 yr old now, and I"m pretty sure she wants one more, not sure if that's gonna happen though.

I also have a relative that had her foirst child at 48, and her second at 50.

I'm 33 with a 2 yr old, and hope to eventually have 2 or 3 more.
post #5 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
My mother was 42 when she had my littlest sister! (She did have a miscarriage after that, which may or may not have been related to her age). She was talking about this the other day... said she felt bad about how she'd raised us older kiddies, but that now she was older she felt much more relaxed raising R and A, which is definitely true. On the other hand, she does get pretty tired. So, you know... pros and cons. If you did choose to have another baby, his/her siblings wouldn't be too much older, which is nice. Mum had R after a big (eight-year) gap, and if she hadn't had A too it might have been pretty lonely for R with all her grown-up sisters.

Wow...this sounds exactly like my current situation. I am 40 currently, and have a 11, 13, and 15 year old. We had another baby 15 mos ago, and are trying to have another. Sometimes I feel like I am 'too old', but then again...I'm in great health, I am a much more relaxed/knowledgable as a parent, I am married to the same wonderful man for the past 18 years, and I LOVE BEING A MOMMY!!! I will be 41 (God willing) when/if we have another, and yes I worry about all the age-related 'what-if's' of pregnancy, but there are no guarantees in this life for any momma. I can only pray for the health and safety of any new baby that we are blessed with. I'm not sure how old is 'too old', but I know it's not me.
post #6 of 91
If you have the funds to support another child, 38 is defiantly not too old. Go for it, with your DH's blessing, of course
post #7 of 91
Im 40 and would love another child ( 16 13 and 4) If God grants us another child i would be
post #8 of 91
Well....I was 29 with my first, 31 with my second, had a miscarriage in 2002, and my last baby in 2005, at 38. (had a tubal)

I don't think 38 is too old at all.
post #9 of 91
My mom had 4 kids when she was pretty young (and in a 5 year span). Then no more kids for 12 (?) years (she had one more then). Then another 6 (?) years later she had another (at 40 years old). Then a year ago she had another (at 44, almost 45). She now has 4 adult children (2 of whom have 4 babies between them, my ds is the oldest), a preteen, a kindergartener and a toddler. Life is busy for her and she doesn't even look like a Grandma

For me, personally, I won't be having any children after the age of 35. Just a personal decision. I'm torn on whether I will have one more or not. DP and I have talked about it alot. I think it's going to come down to how we're doing in 5ish years. We have a lot of things we want to have done by then. If they're not, we probably won't have any more and either he or I will get "fixed".
post #10 of 91
My mom had her last at 39, and it was a surprise at that. IMO you are only too old once your body decides it's time to quit having babies.
post #11 of 91
My MIL was 41 when she had my DH.
post #12 of 91
35! My actual cut-off was 37, but then I decided earlier that I had abslolutley no desire to have any more kids. I wanted another baby.. But, I didn't want to HAVE another baby. Does that make sense?
post #13 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd View Post
DH is not in favor of going through another babyhood. He'd rather adopt an older child, like at least 18 mos.

How do you feel about this?
post #14 of 91
I am 36 my kids are 17,13, and 16 months. I would like one more before i turn 40. We are thinking of adoption but the verdict is still out
post #15 of 91
My aunt had kids at 47 and 48, respectively, and it's been a joy for everyone. Where she did find it hard was at the teenage end; her (second) husband was younger though so he did the heavy lifting. I'm 36 and considering another. I think it really depends on your energy levels, etc.
post #16 of 91
My mom had me at 20, and my brother at 43.

All I can really say is I wish she had waited to have me. She is a much better hands on mom with my brother. I am jealous of the financial benefit and just the patience levels she now has with my brother, stuff I never really saw. What is it they say??? 60 is the new 40? Boomers have set so many bars at new levels, who is to say what is too old.

My mom is now 58, and my brother just turned 15, so that makes me 38... and I have a 3 year old. Not much has changed since having my first child at 27.... just a few more grey hairs. My mid section did not bounce back like it did with my first two... but that might be the surgery i had to have while pregnant.
post #17 of 91
My mom had me at 41. One of my friends just had an unassisted home birth at 40. I don't think you are too old. BUT!!! Your dh doesn't want to have another baby. That is a MUCH bigger issue than your age.
post #18 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by boysrus View Post
My mom had me at 41. One of my friends just had an unassisted home birth at 40. I don't think you are too old. BUT!!! Your dh doesn't want to have another baby. That is a MUCH bigger issue than your age.
True. HE thinks we are too old. Among other things, mainly money issues.

About the adoption thing - I have very mixed feelings about it. It's not an option I want to consider right now, I guess because I am still attached to the idea of having a pregnancy, birth, newborn experience. I have to be able to really let that go before I can consider the idea of taking in an older baby.

Deep down inside, I want to have another. I agree with DH that newborns are a PITA, and yes we are broke and our house is too small. There are plenty of good reasons not to have any more babies, yes. But the heart wants what it wants, as they say.
post #19 of 91
Too old to physically have another baby would be sometime after menopause As long as you feel you can do it, I don't think there is an age limit. A woman who lived next to my grandmother was a foster mom for crack babies until she was nearly 80. Personally I do not plan on having children after 30. I am 22 now and have two children and one on the way. How ever many kids I have by the time I'm 30 is how many kids I have. But I know my body's limits and I am certain that beyond 30 I would not be able to care for young children as efficiently as I can now. I've had a few serious back injuries, lived a fairly hard life so far compared to most folks my age. But if you feel great at 37 and you have the energy for another baby, go for it!
post #20 of 91
I had my last babe (#4) when I was 36. No problems. I do feel like the odd man out, though. Most of my friends all have older kiddos, same age as my first 2. It is hard to find mamas in the same boat. I am nearly 40 now and I have little in common with most mothers of 3 year olds. It can get a bit lonely.

Also, the older you get and more kids you have, the harder and longer it is to get back to "normal" YK.

But for the most part, having babies as an older-ish mama gets the ol' .
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