PhD Student Mamas Tackling 2008 - Page 8

[~pi]

Originally Posted by Realrellim

As far as the socio-economic status thing, yes and no. Yes, it's a much better situation than someone who's working class, but doesn't that go without saying? Duh--DH as a tenure-track prof has it much easier than my father the diesel mechanic. It misses the point though: shouldn't colleges and universities, as presumably the "most enlightened," be doing more to help families succeed? Even DH has gotten a few snarky comments from colleagues if he brings DD with him to work for a few hours because our child-care fell through--and he works in a department that's mainly female (mostly empty-nesters). IMO, the point of the book is that the academy can do better, but in the meantime, here are the stories of how others are coping.

I absolutely agree.

I think it can be a very fine line to walk, knowing that you have it better than many others while still acknowledging (and fighting against) the inequities that remain.

[Realrellim]

One more thought on this, from my own experience:

and IIRC, there was a story in Mama, PhD that specifically addressed that. If I am remembering the story correctly, it was written by a woman who was a single mom and had grown up low SES. She talked about how she had trouble relating to issues like, "writer's block," and put it in a context like (going from memory here), "Do janitors get cleaning block? Do bus drivers get driving block? No. When it is time for me to write, I write."

She also wrote this:

[My kids] knew from an early age that their job was to go to bed at 8:00 pm and only come downstairs if they felt sick or needed comforting from an especially bad dream. I was often surprised when I heard other student-parents complain that their kids resisted bedtime or whined about errands or chores.

*This* is where her life and mine are radically different. Bedtimes with DD have never been easy. She was also a baby who didn't nap for more than 20-30 minute periods, always while being held, and who didn't sleep through the night until she was probably 18 months or longer. She'll be 4 next month, and she has spent the last two+ weeks waking up around 6 or 6:30 asking to nurse. (We don't nurse until 7 am. That's been true for over a year now.) During the last two weeks, she screams at me about nursing until I carry her into her own room, or until DH takes her elsewhere, or I'm forced to field questions about "what time is it now?" every 5 minutes until 7. (I even wrote "7:00" and taped it to the clock in hopes of avoiding this.)

I suspect she'd tell me to wean her and stop co-sleeping and to enforce a strict bedtime during which she was not allowed to wake me up. But, I feel obliged to try to meet both of our needs, and I do understand that DD still has a strong need to nurse (i.e., 9 months after I nightweaned--when she was 2.5--she would still wake up once a week and scream at me to nurse her, usually around 3 am).

Perhaps if I was in her situation, I'd choose a different parenting style, or I'd set an arbitrary weaning date, or perhaps a second child would be a little less intense than my first. Kids come in wildly different temperaments and with varying needs. I can think of a lot of days when I didn't so much suffer from writer's block, as found myself so stressed after DD didn't fall asleep until 10 (or a month ago, until 11), that I wasn't able to focus properly. I don't think that's about my "privilege" as much as it speaks to having a high-needs child and my own capacity for stress. "Enforcing" a strict bedtime with DD would mean a lot of screaming and most likely holding the door shut to her room, or types of punishment that we don't endorse on MDC and that I will not do. (Still, I realize ny post is a also little bit of this. )

[Carita]

Lisa - wow - that book would have REALLY frustrated me

I recently was diagnosed ADHD - I saw a couselour today - trying med free approaches because I am BFing - I had a semi breakthrough - that even though sometiome I don't have enough time to get alot done, that it is still important that I work on it, because I need to see the material often to remember what I am doing. Like brain exercises - LOL. She said I came up with that one on my own, but I think she is sneaky!

Anyway - DS is better from his ear infection, but is now getting molars. They are so slow. I feel like I give too much tylenol, but it seems for the last 2 weeks he has needed it every other if not every night at bed. And now the bottom gums are swollen too, so I think once the top are in, it wil be another week of the bottom. He woke up 5 times last night. Thank god we co-sleep and he eventually Bfed and went back to sleep easy.

The ADHD thing though - I just assumed everyone had trouble concentrating and buckling down. Isn't that the phd life? Then I find out it is not?? weird. My whole life is turned upside down! But I admit whatever pre-existing ADD I had was minor until after I got pregnant... then it took on a life of its own.

Anyway, the boss/advisor is away and I have been trying to finish the teaching off in a half-competent way for the semester. Under all the stress of students non-stop at my door asking about the project and the exam, another faculty member took pity on me and offered me an RA next semester. oh joy!!! not that i don't love teaching, but thei ADD thing is really hard to manage with teaching and classes and dissertation. And even though it is not directly reated to my dissertation, any research experience is good for me since I feel it is an area that is lacking in right now.

anwyay, that is my update...

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by Carita

Lisa - wow - that book would have REALLY frustrated me

I recently was diagnosed ADHD - I saw a couselour today - trying med free approaches because I am BFing - I had a semi breakthrough - that even though sometiome I don't have enough time to get alot done, that it is still important that I work on it, because I need to see the material often to remember what I am doing. Like brain exercises - LOL. She said I came up with that one on my own, but I think she is sneaky!

Anyway - DS is better from his ear infection, but is now getting molars. They are so slow. I feel like I give too much tylenol, but it seems for the last 2 weeks he has needed it every other if not every night at bed. And now the bottom gums are swollen too, so I think once the top are in, it wil be another week of the bottom. He woke up 5 times last night. Thank god we co-sleep and he eventually Bfed and went back to sleep easy.

The ADHD thing though - I just assumed everyone had trouble concentrating and buckling down. Isn't that the phd life? Then I find out it is not?? weird. My whole life is turned upside down! But I admit whatever pre-existing ADD I had was minor until after I got pregnant... then it took on a life of its own.

Anyway, the boss/advisor is away and I have been trying to finish the teaching off in a half-competent way for the semester. Under all the stress of students non-stop at my door asking about the project and the exam, another faculty member took pity on me and offered me an RA next semester. oh joy!!! not that i don't love teaching, but thei ADD thing is really hard to manage with teaching and classes and dissertation. And even though it is not directly reated to my dissertation, any research experience is good for me since I feel it is an area that is lacking in right now.

anwyay, that is my update...

hey carita,

i hope getting the diagnosis proves helpful to you. i wonder sometimes i should be tested as well. congrads on scoring an RA, that's fabulous!

i checked out the Mama PhD website. its good to know that women are discussing how un-family-centered the academic world can be. i found it to be somewhat of a downer that both editors put their academic careers on hold as they realized the challenge of mothering and professing. i do agree there is a class element involved---i mean many, if not most, new profs certainly can't leave a good paying tenure track job because of the stress level. i do have to say however that i grew up and identify as working class and i still have problems getting the work done so....

anyway, my proposal defense was not the triumphant milestone i imagined it would be. my committee wants me to make some changes. sigh. i had such adrenaline going for that deadline and now my brain is feeling sluggish and i'm feeling disappointed. i know that at this stage any work to clarify my project can only help me. but i feel like my adviser misled me a bit. i mean i've been working closely w/ him and sending him my drafts and he said i was ready to defend. he's says its not unusual for the committee to request changes, edits before signing off etc. but sheesh i'm so over it. just the mental energy it takes for me to get settled to write, the timing with baby, the consistently irresponsible babysitter i have (to replace), the loving but sometimes not getting it DH, ergggghhhhh!

yikes, i guess need one of these too!

so, i'm thinking of putting DD in daycare part time. she's almost 4 months and is very "active." so maybe it'll be good. but i feel sad just thinking about it. awww, my little peanut. we might not start until next semester, so we'll see. we're meeting the director tomorrow, its a new facility and she seems very nice and their handbook is well written and seems to reveal a sincere spirit. its my first daycare visit, so wish me luck.

take care (trying to get that frikin') PhD mamas!

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by nnaemeka

i checked out the Mama PhD website. its good to know that women are discussing how un-family-centered the academic world can be. i found it to be somewhat of a downer that both editors put their academic careers on hold as they realized the challenge of mothering and professing. i do agree there is a class element involved---i mean many, if not most, new profs certainly can't leave a good paying tenure track job because of the stress level.

hey z.--

i agree. it is disheartening that academic careers are so hard to square with mothering. and yes, there's a class element to the fact that some have an option to "put things on hold" and others do not. but frankly, as time goes on and dh's salary goes up and i'm getting the option to "put things on hold," that also creates its own set of problems. as it becomes possible for me to opt out, it becomes a real choice for me when i DON'T.

and not to be like all sob story over it because i'm so lucky to have choices, but it's HARD when you realize you are CHOOSING to pursue a career when you could stay home. at least for me it is. there are all those social messages about SAH being better, even more so in the AP community

not to mention, the more he's working and getting career-focused to get these promotions, the more is falling on me in terms of DD's care. and even though i am technically a WOHM, everything seems to fall on me in terms of choosing childcare, taking her, picking her up, and then most of the care at home as well. sometimes i think it would be easier if i just SAH and let him do the career thing :

so, i'm thinking of putting DD in daycare part time. she's almost 4 months and is very "active." so maybe it'll be good. but i feel sad just thinking about it. awww, my little peanut. we might not start until next semester, so we'll see. we're meeting the director tomorrow, its a new facility and she seems very nice and their handbook is well written and seems to reveal a sincere spirit. its my first daycare visit, so wish me luck.

it is hard deciding to start daycare. but if you go that route, i think you'll find you can get a lot more done. i never had the best luck with sitters, either. even if they're responsible, they're expensive and they get sick, and they leave town (especially the student ones!), etc. daycares are much more consistent. you can rely on them day in and day out at a (mostly) reasonable rate.

where are you looking at?? good luck! i know how hard it is to choose a place.

[Carita]

I had my DS in DC 2 days a week so that I could go to class and meetings and teach. Then by 4 mo or so he was in 3-4 days a week, now I only take Wednesday mornigns off with him.

The molar issue coincided with a 15 mo well baby check up - and guess what? The Ear Infection is back!! I fee guilty because I wonder if it was the splurge on my no milk diet when I frantically grabbed 4 peices of pizza starving my head off because I forgot my lunch last week.

[muchpeace]

: to all the new folks! it seems the thread is picking up some yah!:

everybody busy?? reaching those goals for 08?

oh man, I feel super busy but at the same time like I am wasting so much time. I have gotten more than 1/2 my data collected and a good chunk transcribed, so I am happy about that given it's been a slower process than I initially expected. I knew it would slower, but not this slow. I am also teaching a lot this semester, 4 classes so I am looking forward to the W term. only 1 class then, which is good since I'm due w/ #4 near the last part of W term. I have balanced it before this way, but I am thinking it was easier just a few years ago. as for other work...got a few papers in the works, hope they move forward & a couple presentations. so it's busy but then again I am checking MDC so I guess I am not keeping as busy as I should be

as for Mama PhD I haven't read it, I do check the blog on occasion most doesn't seem to apply to me. it's good to see that there is discussion about what it's like to balance work/family in the academy but I haven't read the book so I can't offer more on that. however, I do think it is a different type of balancing act in this supposedly progressive environment for those with families than one would expect. I think a lot of folks go in thinking it will be far different and are suprised at the resistance women (especially) and men face who are trying to balance. given that the academy is usually (at least in my area) offering so many suggestions to the rest of society on what is beneficial for families, women, and a healthy social world that you'd expect more of that within the academy itself. or at least more consistency--given it can vary so much from location to location.

Carita: congrats on the RA

nnaemeka: I remember having to make changes too after my proposal. really looking back on it now, it seems small in comparison to all the work that went in to it. it is a pain, but just look at all you have accomplished--you are ABD!! it's a big milestone, don't let the small stuff take away from this accomplishment you deserve to enjoy it too:

[Carita]

My bad news is that my dept will only support me into my year 6, which is next year, so I have only 1 year left to finish. I am nervous. This week I have a pile of grading and we are still battling the ear infection. In the haze, we forgot to give DS his allergy medicine and he woke up at 1 inconsolible and screaming. No amount of nursing would put him back to sleep. then I remembered the allergy meds. I am exhausted today.

BUT

yay! Last class of Class #1 teaching is today!
There are only 3 more classes and a study session and final for Class #2 I'm teaching.
1 more class Friday for seminar #1 taking, 2 more for Seminar #2 I am taking, and 2 mor for Seminar #3 I am taking/teaching/co-facilitating.

The end is in sight!!! Then I can focus on those darn 08 goals... LOL

[FtMPapa]

I know I'm all about the books lately, but it kind of comes with the territory!

Carita - I don't know if organization is an issue for you, but it's a big one for me, and one of the shared struggles of most people with ADD/ADHD.

This book is supposed to be excellent: Organizing Solutions for People with Attention Deficit Disorder

I haven't read it, but here's a review from someone I know and trust: http://www.mmartone.com/?p=51

I'm worried when you say your ADD picked up after you got pregnant - I have ADDish tendencies, but I'm a coper, not a doper, so I have been consciously coping and not medicating for a decade, and I've been coping since before that. Who knows what will happen when I get pregnant! (I am in the 2ww right now.)

I think my comment about the class issues behind mamas who say that academia and children don't mix well comes from my own class position, vis-a-vis that of most of my colleagues.

Though, in fact, most of the people I know well in my PhD program come from working class or lower middle class families, and almost all are the first people in their families to attend graduate school, this is not the norm across academia.

Where I did my MA, most of the people were from upper middle class families.

However, most of my professors and most of the people I know who are above the rank of grad student (postdocs, lecturers, junior faculty, on up) have never really worked outside of the academy for any length of time.

I worked a really odd night schedule in a factory for two years after high school, including working a double shift (15 hours) with only nine hours off between shifts at either end. I worked full time days in a corporate setting (overlapping with that job - on Thursdays and Fridays, I worked about forty hours. Every week.)

I worked for the university where I did my undergrad for four years - full time days, mostly.

Altogether, it means that I have spent about seven years in the working world, working full time, supporting myself, and partially supporting my partner, paying the bills, getting myself through university (though to be honest, my focus was always paying the bills.)

It was really hard for me to leave work, even though with a generous scholarship and a TA lined up, my MA program paid me just about the same as when I was working.

I was also self-supporting through most of high school, from the age of 16 until when I finished at 19.

This is not typical of my colleagues.

Nor is it typical for most the mamas who complain about the lack of work/life/family balance within academia.

I don't believe the corporate world is any more family friendly, I don't believe the academic service sector is either.

In fact, I chose an academic career because I saw, after working for seven years, how much more supportive working in the academy could be. Although, truth be told, I am not aiming for a research job at an R-1 university, I'm hoping to finish my PhD in five years, and head off to a small teaching college.

[Carita]

FtMPapa - All I can say is that I wish many times I had a job that I could leave at work 8-5. I love the flexibility during the day, but it is not the 8-5 during the day and summers off job I thought academia would be years ago when I started this process. BTW - every ADD mama I have spoken too agrees that their ADD was way worse during pregnancy. I have a good friend TTC that is currently beginning dissertation stage - I am worried how she will manage her ADD too.

Thanks all on the RA congats. Got some teaching evals already for a seminar and I had a handful, about 3, out of a small seminar, 14, think I was pretty bad. (This is my 3rd semester doing this particular course and have only had 1 student ever give me a negative eval). I can't imagine how I pissed people off . I consider my potential better than my output .

Hope my evals for class #2 are better...

muchpeace - #4! I can barely handle 1, I am in awe!

[Realrellim]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

I think my comment about the class issues behind mamas who say that academia and children don't mix well comes from my own class position, vis-a-vis that of most of my colleagues.
[snip]
However, most of my professors and most of the people I know who are above the rank of grad student (postdocs, lecturers, junior faculty, on up) have never really worked outside of the academy for any length of time.
[snip]
Altogether, it means that I have spent about seven years in the working world, working full time, supporting myself, and partially supporting my partner, paying the bills, getting myself through university (though to be honest, my focus was always paying the bills.)
This is not typical of my colleagues.

Nor is it typical for most the mamas who complain about the lack of work/life/family balance within academia.

I don't think that's fair. If you show me numbers--actual numbers of women in academia, the kinds of jobs they have worked, and what they do now, maybe I'll be convinced. All of the women in my department work to support themselves or their families.

I complain about the lack of work/life/family balance. I worked PT all through undergrad (FT really, the second two years as I had a regular student job and was editing the student newspaper), worked two PT jobs through my master's (supporting myself). I stayed at one of those (a retail job) during my "year off" between the master's and PhD, while working two other PT jobs (one at a mouse-infested office, oh the joy!). I continued working at the retail job while working on my doctorate, and also had a dept RA-ship and eventually, added a third PT job (teaching as an adjunct).

Since then, DH's salary has picked up. I left retail. Since DD was born, I've reduced my PT schedule and then reduced it some more in order to complete the dissertation and phinish.

Even then--even though I managed to win a fellowship and have only one class this semester--it's a huge struggle. The struggle looks something like this:

- I have a big deadline and lots of grading
- DH has a series of early meetings and/or extra work that he brings home.
- Things don't get done around the house.
- I pick up the slack.
- DD immediately reacts to the stress by getting up early and/or going to bed late, and spends a good deal of the day whining and demanding even more attention, which slows everything down. Case in point: I was printing out a [mostly] final draft of my dissertation to bring to my advisor this afternoon. DD knows that as soon as I finish doing it, we're going to do fun things. Rather than actually allowing me to print it, she demands to nurse, demands that I pour her juice, demands that I allow her to have the juice on the rug [the rug that I just washed because she spilled milk there yesterday...which she wasn't allowed to have on the rug but poured herself because I was busy trying to do laundry]. So I've nursed her twice and finally (!) printed out the draft. She's sleeping on my lap as I type this because she got up extra early when she noticed DH was up extra early).
- I either set aside my dissertation goals, or stop sleeping (lately, the latter)



This didn't stop DH from complaining about the general state of untidiness the house is in last night--not that he's bothered to pick up her toys or put the bills in the bill pile or recycle the newspaper anytime recently.

The only concession to work-life balance we've had is that DH took Tuesday as a vacation day and took DD to the zoo so I could have an entire uninterrupted day for my final push on the dissertation. It is the *only* entire day I've had to work on it since DD was born. Yeah, ideally I could just stick her in daycare (not dissing people who do!), but DD is not ready for that (social anxiety, borderline selective mutism--but both are improving so I'm reluctant to "shove" her forward when she is making progress).

On a board like MDC, I certainly think that respecting our child's needs is important too. In our family, it's very difficult to balance DH's tenure-track work load with my own adjunct PT load and dissertation work and DD's needs.

More importantly, I don't really think that I somehow have more or less of a reason to feel frustrated with the situation because I came from a working class background or because I worked retail/cleaned apartments/did office work (yes, all three). We ALL deserve more flexibility in work-life balance: men and women in academia, and men and women in corporate fields, and men and women in working-class jobs. Frankly, it doesn't make any sense to take the worst working situations and then use those as a barometer of what's "good."

****
My 2008 accomplishments: as soon as I transfer DD off my lap, I'm off to take a shower and then to deliver the mostly-final draft to my advisor, yay!

[lolar2]

DH comes from a working-class background, I don't, and he gets more frustrated with work-family-academia balance than I do.

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by readytobedone

hey z.--

i agree. it is disheartening that academic careers are so hard to square with mothering. and yes, there's a class element to the fact that some have an option to "put things on hold" and others do not. but frankly, as time goes on and dh's salary goes up and i'm getting the option to "put things on hold," that also creates its own set of problems. as it becomes possible for me to opt out, it becomes a real choice for me when i DON'T.

and not to be like all sob story over it because i'm so lucky to have choices, but it's HARD when you realize you are CHOOSING to pursue a career when you could stay home. at least for me it is. there are all those social messages about SAH being better, even more so in the AP community

not to mention, the more he's working and getting career-focused to get these promotions, the more is falling on me in terms of DD's care. and even though i am technically a WOHM, everything seems to fall on me in terms of choosing childcare, taking her, picking her up, and then most of the care at home as well. sometimes i think it would be easier if i just SAH and let him do the career thing :



it is hard deciding to start daycare. but if you go that route, i think you'll find you can get a lot more done. i never had the best luck with sitters, either. even if they're responsible, they're expensive and they get sick, and they leave town (especially the student ones!), etc. daycares are much more consistent. you can rely on them day in and day out at a (mostly) reasonable rate.

where are you looking at?? good luck! i know how hard it is to choose a place.

i still don't know what to do. the daycare is on meade st--about a 7-10 min drive. nice, clean small place, affordable, open door policy. we met the director/dcp, she's nice enough, its just her and another parttime dcp. they are both mamas and happy to accept pumped milk and clothes dipes. she said she'd wear dd. besides that there's not much to see since our dd would be part of the first batch of kids in the place as its a brand new center. my babysitter got a job so she quit before i managed to replace her. i should writing/reading and preparing for teaching next semester and i'm not. caring for dd is my main excuse so i've got to get some steady childcare. she's 4 months tomorrow. DH is not thrilled about sending dd to daycare but he's generally a quite reluctant "sitter" himself esp if i'm trying to work at home.

this sucks. any words of wisdom on placing a 4 month old in daycare or not?

[nnaemeka]

Originally Posted by muchpeace

:

nnaemeka: I remember having to make changes too after my proposal. really looking back on it now, it seems small in comparison to all the work that went in to it. it is a pain, but just look at all you have accomplished--you are ABD!! it's a big milestone, don't let the small stuff take away from this accomplishment you deserve to enjoy it too:

that's sweet of you! thanks for the perspective.

[loveandmore]

Hi Mamas! I usually hang out in the Working/Student area.

[Carita]

Reviving the thread.

As I am sitting here panicking that I will never graduate ever, my advisor jaunts in and asks me about my funding for next semester. Mind you he told me this fall that because I didn't perform to expectations, he was no longer going to fund me (no fault of his - I wouldn't even fund me - ugh!) . I told him another prof has offered to let me help him on some research tasks as a light RA. He insisted I needed to work on my dissertation, but I said if I didn't work for the other prof, I would have to teach, so I figured a light RA (finding papers, proofreading MS, etc.), would be less emotionally exhausting than teaching. Well he changed his mind and said he still had a little money left over and that I need to be working on my diss FT so I can graduate sometime soon. :

Holy 180 Batman!!!

Now how do I finally live up to his expectations? I am working on some new ADHD coping techniques, but I am still worried. Really worried! How can I get somethign wonderful out of this blob of research that has so far gone no-where?!

Advice??

[FtMPapa]

Carita - no advice, but big congrats! That's great news.

You mentioned that you were seeing someone earlier, have you thought about accessing services through your center for students with disabilities?

Often, they have people who can coach you, recommend appropriate resources, etc. Sometimes they may even have money set aside for tutoring students that you might be able to convince them to let you use to get someone who could tutor you in coping strategies. They might also have support groups.

I found their services invaluable as an undergrad, but at my last two grad schools since then, they've been really unapproachable and hard to acess. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a grad student or because they just have different priorities at research schools.

Do you think you'd respond to a little bit of micromanagement? Like, getting your advisor's help in structuring weekly to-do lists, and then setting yourself a schedule?

I've found it useful to not think of my calendar as being "lots of free space" but to block out chunks of "work time" at times I know are my best times of day (long, uninterupted stretches from 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM, say) and then I wirte down exactly what I want to be working on, in some detail - i.e. go through paper, check citations. Do reading for X, write short response paper for Y. That sort of thing.

I also write down "low brain power" tasks that I can do in the evenings, when my brain is mostly fried, but I'm still able to put in library requests, or find articles, or respond to student e-mails, or grade papers.

The trick for me is to not get distracted by each e-mail that comes in - I don't need to stop what I'm doing to reply to a student who doesn't need and answer right now, but can wait 12 hours, or to get up, go to the library, get that book, if I put a request in, I can pick it up tomorrow morning.

Hope that helps a bit! Let me know what strategies you've been working on!

[Carita]

Originally Posted by FtMPapa

Carita - no advice, but big congrats! That's great news.

You mentioned that you were seeing someone earlier, have you thought about accessing services through your center for students with disabilities?

yup - I have been seeing someone through my student counseling ctr. ODS only services the test taking time, etc., types of things. The SCC works on coping techniques, etc.

Do you think you'd respond to a little bit of micromanagement? Like, getting your advisor's help in structuring weekly to-do lists, and then setting yourself a schedule?

I would, but he wouldn't. He has always taken a firm stance that I need to be more independent and he shouldn't have to babysit me. I get that, but I would do much better with babysitting

I've found it useful to not think of my calendar as being "lots of free space" but to block out chunks of "work time" at times I know are my best times of day (long, uninterupted stretches from 8:00 AM - 2:00 PM, say) and then I wirte down exactly what I want to be working on, in some detail - i.e. go through paper, check citations. Do reading for X, write short response paper for Y. That sort of thing.

I am so looking forward to being able to do this. last semester I only had small chunks of time, and I couldn't get involved in anything. I would have a 1 hr break between class and teaching, then 1.5 hrs between office hours and picking up my son.

A couple of things I am working on:
1) Making a self-reward chart with my officemate. We make lists of what we have to accomplish that is school related and we earn stars. Then when we get to a certain quota, the other person has to bring in a treat for the office.
2) Not spending so much time surfing the www. I was working on a timer system where I work for 20min, then play for 5 min. I think I need to go back to that.
3) Breaking big research tasks into smaller goals and writing up my to-do lists accordingly. (like what you mentioned) Also goes with #1.
4) Sending Weekly updates to my advisor
5) Working on my research for 1 hr/day on days off so I don't lose track of where I am and what I was doing.
6) Better communication with my advisor. Necessary, but difficult.
7) Dang, I am forgetting something...

Thank you - that has been very theraputic!

[nnaemeka]

yippie on the good funding news Carita!

very good suggestions from FtMPapa. helpful for me as well. thanks!

[muchpeace]

Carita: no advice but lots of Congrats! Thanks for the awe, but really there are days I wonder if I have totally lost my mind. My oldest 2 also have ASD & so it can be a really interesting some days

Also, thanks FTM for the suggestions/ideas on time management! I need them

I am also excited, all my classes are graded & done! I have my syllabi & course work for next semester pretty much ready to go, just need to make copies. Got 2 presentations accepted to a regional conference, getting submissions ready for several national (I should get at 2 accepted), & still working on the endless papers. My transcribing is set to get attention over break & I only need a handful of interviews to be completed before I am done with data collection. Then it's off to complete writing, revisions, & move toward defense. Plus meetings, appts, & therapy sessions starting for the kids...life...and oh yah I am sure I forgot about a million other little things. Man, I just realized that somehow I have to get a whole lot done in the next 3 months before baby gets here So much for my break