PhD Student Mamas Tackling 2008 - Page 9

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post #161 of 165

12/18/08 at 12:05pm

2,194 Posts. Joined 3/2008
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GL much peace - still in awe - how do you do it? I want some of what ever you are on

There is never enough time, is there? - I have 2 days before my son is on break, then 2 weeks with him, then school starts again.

I want a longer break... can I throw a tantrum now?

SO I orginally had that light RA and now I have my own time, well I am thinking my prof feels a bit threatened by the other prof that offered me the "light" RA. He has done this in the past to help another student in our lab out, and I think my prof was also upset that he was working on someone else's project and not his thesis. My advisor doesn't seem to understand that if it wasn't someone else's research that it would be teaching - you don't get paid for doing nothing. I wrote to the other prof and let him know the situation as tactfully as I could, but he wrote back curtly. I think he is upset at my advisor for being so territorial - there are not many people in my area that he can use his RA money for, and he is a new prof himself without any students of his own yet. My advisor is upset I didn't talk to him first - I think I have gotten myself involved in a little internal fight. oops! I hope no one holds it against me - they won't will they? ugh. now i feel guilty when instead I should feel motivated and happy. grr..

okay - must stop procrastinating!

Take it a day at a time. Try to work on it every day, especially if you're like me and the longer you're away, the harder it is to start again. If you don't have large chunks of time, do it in small chunks ("I'll write two sentences today" or "I'll just read for 15 minutes"). Remember that every little bit adds up and every little bit moves your forward. A writing group can be helpful, even (or if strapped for time, especially) if you only send what you've done over the last two weeks to other people via email because it establishes a deadline to meet (and allows you to see you are making progress).

Also, here are these from the ABD Moms group on Yahoo. These are not mine, but I kept them on a sticky note on my computer and used them for inspiration and support.

Quote:

FOCUS AND FINISH

a done dissertation is better than a perfect or even practical dissertation

"A good thesis is a done thesis. Good=done. Done=good."

Learn to respectfully but firmly demand what I need without feeling compelled to justify myself

But, you CAN do it. With the self-doubt and the guilt and the anger nipping at your heels.

FWIW, it took me five years from the time I became ABD to defend. DD just turned 4 on Monday.

post #165 of 165

12/20/08 at 5:08pm