PhD Student Mamas Tackling 2008 - Page 3

[Aletheia]

Alrighty! An "official" welcome to DariusMom, Inanna_Mama, and nagibus! Y'all are officially on the first page now.

Inanna, I hear you on the 15 minutes goal-- it surprises me how tough it can be! I've also been trying to add another component-- 15 minutes before noon. When I'm successful and getting those 15 minutes in early, I find I'm far more likely to do more later in the day.

So yes, I'm with you in renewing my pledge to do at least 15 minutes a day! I'll start now.

I'm running pretty (embarrassingly) behind right now on my timeline for developing an online course. I'm working with an IT support person who gets all the materials up on the website program we are using-- it's the first time I've had someone waiting on my to finish my lectures, and man, it makes me sweat a little! So I'm off to it.

In other news... we have our ultrasound to check on Baby #2 tomorrow... hopefully soon we'll have a better name than "Baby #2"!

[Inanna_Mama]

Originally Posted by Aletheia

Alrighty! An "official" welcome to DariusMom, Inanna_Mama, and nagibus! Y'all are officially on the first page now.

Inanna, I hear you on the 15 minutes goal-- it surprises me how tough it can be! I've also been trying to add another component-- 15 minutes before noon. When I'm successful and getting those 15 minutes in early, I find I'm far more likely to do more later in the day.

So yes, I'm with you in renewing my pledge to do at least 15 minutes a day! I'll start now.

I'm running pretty (embarrassingly) behind right now on my timeline for developing an online course. I'm working with an IT support person who gets all the materials up on the website program we are using-- it's the first time I've had someone waiting on my to finish my lectures, and man, it makes me sweat a little! So I'm off to it.

In other news... we have our ultrasound to check on Baby #2 tomorrow... hopefully soon we'll have a better name than "Baby #2"!

Thanks for the warm welcome and pledging to join me in your 15 minute challenge! I'm not a night person, but with as little sleep as I get, I can't drag myself out of bed even 15 minutes before DS to join you in the morning (although that would be my preference).

Wednesday DS took an unusually long nap, so I got 15 minutes x 3 in! I was super productive - one journal article read, updates to my outline and email with questions sent to said article author. It's a good thing, too, because Thursday & Friday were a bust. Hoping to get another 15 minutes in tonight (start reading intro of key book) after Earth Hour.

Congrats on baby #2...how was your ultrasound? My DS is completely smitten with your Oli. We watch his video over and again, especially the bath tub scene...he signs for it all the time!

[Tithonia]

Ooh, can I join? Too often I wonder why on earth I decided to do this, so a support community is just the thing!

Name: Tithonia
Age: 28
Children and birthdays: DD, 7/07
Academic Area: Philosophy
Stage of Degree: done with coursework, working on dissertation proposal
Goal for 2008: a Really Good dissertation proposal (ha! ha!) and hopefully comps
Geographical Location: Iowa, soon to be southern Illinois

[Aletheia]

Inana- Too funny about the videos. My best friend's little girl watches them all the time, too. Ovi is a movie star! I'll be sure to forget to tell him when he is 18 that perfect strangers were watching him bathe via the internet.

Welcome, Tithonia! You're the first other phil PhD I've run into on MDC. How fun! Can I ask what your AOS is going to be? I'll go add your stats to the front page.

My nanny was back today for the first time in 2 weeks-- one week we were traveling, and the other she was. Oh my gosh it is so good to have had 3.5 hours to work! Eegads! I had forgotten. I am so overwhelmed with feelings of potential, I want to do everything at once!

[Tithonia]

Thanks for the welcome, Aletheia! I love your user name!

I've been working for awhile on Hannah Arendt, particularly some of her exciting ideas on natality, unpredictability, and storytelling. For my dissertation I want to bring her approach to story together with a certain genre of young adult fiction which I think can be considered philosophy. Ursula Le Guin's "Tehanu" is one I especially want to work with. The feminist aspect is what I get really excited about.

Baby calling... gotta go!

[alison77]

Hi - nice to see others around!

Name: Alison
Age: 31
Children and birthdays: DS 7/03 and DS2 2/06
Academic Area: Social Epidemiology
Stage of Degree: Finishing up coursework
Geographical Location: Boston

[*Amy*]

Name: Amy
Age: 34
Children and birthdays: Brynn, 12/05
Academic Area: Neural Linguistics (language disorders resulting from neurological degeneration)
Stage of Degree: preparing for quals
Geographical Location: Indiana

I'm confused - I was subbed to another thread, but it looks like this is the more active one. So hi!

[Aletheia]

Tithonia- Yay for Hannah! I was a philosophy of literature major as an undergrad, and that continues to be my chief area of interest. I'm toying with going with Ancient (Plato) for an AOS, though, to make myself more marketable. But my heart would really rather work on some combination of the ancients and Woolf, probably, or maybe Gadamer. You see how close I am to dissertating. Sigh. How are you managing to make progress with your little one being still so little? My babe is a year older than yours, and I've gotten next to nothing done since he showed up.

Welcome Amy and Alison! Yes, this thread does get traffic, but it is still a bit sporadic. I know I could benefit from more people checking in more often--- I'll try to make it a point to do that myself. It is so helpful to me to know that other women are out there, trying to walk this dual-life path, too.

I am coming down to lots of deadlines as I get the on-line course I'm teaching this summer ready. I've got two lessons (lectures) left to write and some general housekeeping to attend to. I got a lot done today between having the nanny here and then babe sleeping for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Plus, DH is on call tonight at the hospital, so I got even more done this evening. Yay!

[Inanna_Mama]

Originally Posted by Aletheia

Tithonia- Yay for Hannah! I was a philosophy of literature major as an undergrad, and that continues to be my chief area of interest. I'm toying with going with Ancient (Plato) for an AOS, though, to make myself more marketable. But my heart would really rather work on some combination of the ancients and Woolf, probably, or maybe Gadamer. You see how close I am to dissertating. Sigh. How are you managing to make progress with your little one being still so little? My babe is a year older than yours, and I've gotten next to nothing done since he showed up.

Do tell, especially those of you with more than one little one. My DS has been a high-needs babe since birth. Up until last month I couldn't leave him with anyone (even his dad) - he's not a "get over it" baby, he'll just escalate until he makes himself sick. And, I couldn't have anyone try to look after him while I did any work in the next room (he'd just stand outside the door weeping, pounding, screeching, gnashing his teeth, etc.). I really want another babe, but I can hardly function now, let alone find time to keep us fed, out of squalor, etc....and I haven't even started my Master's coursework yet.

Originally Posted by Aletheia

Welcome Amy and Alison! Yes, this thread does get traffic, but it is still a bit sporadic. I know I could benefit from more people checking in more often--- I'll try to make it a point to do that myself. It is so helpful to me to know that other women are out there, trying to walk this dual-life path, too.

:

Originally Posted by Aletheia

I am coming down to lots of deadlines as I get the on-line course I'm teaching this summer ready. I've got two lessons (lectures) left to write and some general housekeeping to attend to. I got a lot done today between having the nanny here and then babe sleeping for 2 hours and 45 minutes. Plus, DH is on call tonight at the hospital, so I got even more done this evening. Yay!

Best of luck you to on meeting your deadlines! I'm trying to keep up with the 15 min of work/day, but it's tough. I need to start making travel arrangements for the conference (June 4-7), but am afraid to. What if I have nothing to present? Then there's no way I can justify the expense (or embarrassment) of going (DH's a full time Master's student = tight budget).

Anyway, lots of whining today. My mentor once said to me what has become my motto ... "we do what we can" ... may that be enough.

[Tithonia]

As to how I do it with such a little one, I'm fortunate to have the perfect co-parenting arrangement. My husband is also working on his Ph.D., so we go halves. I take Sweet Pea in the morning, he takes her in the afternoon. He changes her diapers, I feed her. Yeah, we're the kind of people who do everything together. I can't imagine how I'd cope if DH had a full-time job away from home, even without the whole Ph.D. thing! The only problem is I tend to spend my afternoons doing other things than working... like reading MDC. Even though I did my best to pick a direction that really excites me, I worry that I went on the Ph.D. track just because I didn't know what else to do, or because I felt like I should because so many women drop out part way.

I'm curious about how others have dealt with the combination of motherhood and academia emotionally, as well as practically. I really struggled with that when we got pregnant, and didn't even want anyone to know for a long time. (I'm tall and like baggy clothes, so I could hide it for a long time!) I felt like as soon as people found out that I was a mother they would think my brain no longer worked as well as they used to think it did (apart from the question of whether or not it does or ever did work that well!). Never had a role model, either. Not one single female professor in college or grad school, much less one with kids. How do other people feel about this?

[gradmama]

Originally Posted by Tithonia

I'm curious about how others have dealt with the combination of motherhood and academia emotionally, as well as practically. I really struggled with that when we got pregnant, and didn't even want anyone to know for a long time. (I'm tall and like baggy clothes, so I could hide it for a long time!) I felt like as soon as people found out that I was a mother they would think my brain no longer worked as well as they used to think it did (apart from the question of whether or not it does or ever did work that well!). Never had a role model, either. Not one single female professor in college or grad school, much less one with kids. How do other people feel about this?

Lately I'm not dealing with the combination of academia and motherhood (in my case single-motherhood) with any level of emotional competence. On the one hand I am a mother with the responsibilities of running three girls through school activities to sports and so forth (not to mention all the other stuff) and everyone present in that regard (including my girls!) think that that should be my whole life. On the other hand, I'm a graduate student (which coincidentally pays the bills, so its my job too) and everyone there expects THAT to be my whole life. Where does this leave me? An emotional wreck. Granted, its a little worse than normal at this particular moment in the moon cycle but still..... As far as role models, I do have female professors (several) and my undergrad mentor was a single mother. So, I do know that it is possible..... But how is a whole another story....

So....I guess I'm not helping am I? I'm definitely interested in hearing others.....

[Inanna_Mama]

, Gradmama! Hoping you get a little relief with summer on the horizon.

I sure could use some, too. DH's finals are due on Friday. After that, I've asked for his help full-time (save for nursing DS to sleep) so I can work on my conference paper which, basically is going to be a research proposal (if I can pull it off with just under 3 weeks of work - is it possible, do you think?).

Sadly, we may not be able to afford to go to the conference. How bad is it to have my professor present for me? This would be my first conference presentation.

[*Amy*]

I hope you are able to go, Inanna Mama. Conferences are pretty fun.

Hey, do any of y'all have an NIH F31 grant? I will probably be applying for one later this year and would love to hear any inside scoop from those who have gone through it.

Gradmama - all I can say is WOW. Your username should be GradSUPERmama!

[gradmama]

Oh Inanna_mamma....I hope you get to go! Can you apply for any travel fund to help defray the costs? My department often has some monies for graduate students who are presenting, as does graduate division. Also, perhaps you could look at the conference itself - sometimes there are monies to be found there. For example, the ASA has a lottery of travel grants - i.e. send in your name, they draw out of a hat.....etc. Anyway....I do hope you get to go.

No, Amy, I don't have an NIH grant.....and I would write the (extensive) application, except my ma research is qualitatitve and sexualities based and therefore it would more than likely be tossed out the first go round....... But its a huge deal if you can get one (or even an honorable mention!).

Anyway.....uh, yeah. About me. This is really really really hard. I'm not complaining. Just sharing the facts. The more i look around, the more I realize how unusual I am! And that doesn't make me feel better, because its so uncharted territory. I'm not finding the institution itself to be very mama friendly...or at least single mama friendly. But yea...we'll get there!

[Inanna_Mama]

Originally Posted by gradmama

Oh Inanna_mamma....I hope you get to go! Can you apply for any travel fund to help defray the costs? My department often has some monies for graduate students who are presenting, as does graduate division. Also, perhaps you could look at the conference itself - sometimes there are monies to be found there. For example, the ASA has a lottery of travel grants - i.e. send in your name, they draw out of a hat.....etc. Anyway....I do hope you get to go.

Anyway.....uh, yeah. About me. This is really really really hard. I'm not complaining. Just sharing the facts. The more i look around, the more I realize how unusual I am! And that doesn't make me feel better, because its so uncharted territory. I'm not finding the institution itself to be very mama friendly...or at least single mama friendly. But yea...we'll get there!

Thanks for the good wishes, Amy and Gradmama! Since I'm going as an "Independent Scholar", no funds available, I'm afraid. But, I did it! Bit the bullet and registered, booked flights and hotel and stuff last night. We're going to use our economic stimulus money that the US government doesn't have, but generously gave us, to pay for it! DH and DS will be coming along since DS is still nursing.

I'm terrified. But, DH is being so supportive and positive. He's quite the scholar himself, so he's agreed to help me pull it off even though this isn't his field. A dear anthropologist PhD candidate friend arrives on Monday for a few days, so I'm hoping she can help me pull my thoughts (what few of them there are at this point) together.

Gradmama, I think you're a rock star! Where are you located? I wish I could help you out IRL. I am sure some awesome woman somewhere is critiquing The Academy right this minute on situations just like yours. May she kick asses royally on your behalf. In the meantime, I'm thinking of you and wishing you strength, courage and support from unexpected places in the coming weeks and months.

[*Amy*]

Yay, Innana Mama! That'll be so nice that you get to go!

So, here's a twist in my story: Just as I'm starting to get my PhD sh*t back together after 3 years....I'm starting to want another baby. :

[gradmama]

Originally Posted by Inanna_Mama

Thanks for the good wishes, Amy and Gradmama! Since I'm going as an "Independent Scholar", no funds available, I'm afraid. But, I did it! Bit the bullet and registered, booked flights and hotel and stuff last night. We're going to use our economic stimulus money that the US government doesn't have, but generously gave us, to pay for it! DH and DS will be coming along since DS is still nursing.

I'm terrified. But, DH is being so supportive and positive. He's quite the scholar himself, so he's agreed to help me pull it off even though this isn't his field. A dear anthropologist PhD candidate friend arrives on Monday for a few days, so I'm hoping she can help me pull my thoughts (what few of them there are at this point) together.

I'm soo glad you're going! Conferences are so important and they're fun too! Come back and tell us how it went!

Gradmama, I think you're a rock star! Where are you located? I wish I could help you out IRL. I am sure some awesome woman somewhere is critiquing The Academy right this minute on situations just like yours. May she kick asses royally on your behalf. In the meantime, I'm thinking of you and wishing you strength, courage and support from unexpected places in the coming weeks and months.

Thanks mama! I hope I'm not coming off sounding whiny because that is soo not my intention (although I do sometimes). I really love my program (in SoCal) and my life...Its just stressful in ways that are "different" than many.

Originally Posted by *Amy*

Yay, Innana Mama! That'll be so nice that you get to go!

So, here's a twist in my story: Just as I'm starting to get my PhD sh*t back together after 3 years....I'm starting to want another baby. :

Well, so....I've always heard that grad school is THE best time to have a baby. I think if I were going to do it, this would be when.......

[Inanna_Mama]

Originally Posted by gradmama

I'm soo glad you're going! Conferences are so important and they're fun too! Come back and tell us how it went!



Thanks mama! I hope I'm not coming off sounding whiny because that is soo not my intention (although I do sometimes). I really love my program (in SoCal) and my life...Its just stressful in ways that are "different" than many.



Well, so....I've always heard that grad school is THE best time to have a baby. I think if I were going to do it, this would be when.......

Sure thing! And not to worry...you don't sound whiny at all! I am just empathizing with you because although my DH lives with us, we've seen nothing of him since his Master's program started (that is until this past Sunday when finals were over and he'd had a few hours of sleep). It's been brutal (my DS is a high-needs kiddo who loves and needs *both* parents to help keep him on an even keel).

Anyway, I've heard the same thing about the best time to have a baby, but they must be referring to PhD research/writing, not Master's coursework. My DH has been totally out of commission and I'd be a dead woman if I had started my coursework during DS's first 18 months.

Today was the longest I've ever been able to be away from him...3 hours! He made it 3 hours with his Papa without a single melt down. And I *thought* for the first time in about 16 months - at a coffee shop - alone - just me and my book, taking notes. It was remarkable. I'm a new woman with great hope that I'll have something to say on June 5th!!

And, Amy, for as difficult as it's been, I'm wanting to get pregnant again soon, too. DH thinks I'm mad. But, if we time it to arrive the summer after he finishes his coursework and I plan to postpone my Master's one more year, perhaps it will all work out? Of course, if I do that I may never get started

[Inanna_Mama]

Hey all! Everyone taking a break for summer?

I'm heading out to my conference tomorrow - scripted talk, handout and ppt presentation in hand. I'm not as terrified (yet) as I thought I'd be ... I've been preoccupied with packing.

Anyway, hope you all are well and starting on a well-deserved summer break!

[Aletheia]

Goodluck, mama! Knock 'em dead!

I've been quiet on this board (and all boards, really) lately because I'm teaching an online summer class. It's my first experience teaching in the summer, and it's my first experience teaching online. The combination has my head spinning! It all goes by so fast, and there are so many technical things to be aware of! So far, mainly so good.