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My kid is dirty - Page 3

post #41 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by mummy marja View Post
3 yr olds do not stink like grown men. He doesn't smell. I'm pretty sure that by the time he is 4 or 5, he will be ok with having a bath again. He'll probably shower twice a day when he's 15. Right now he just doesn't have any motivation.

I'm going to slowly get him used to baths again, and leave off hair washing for a while. That's the worst for him.

Thanks for all the understanding and been-there stories!
You haven't met my kids then! Seriously, we live in FL, my kids play outside, in the dirt, and they get NASTY. I mean it. FUNKY.

My DS has sensory issues, much of them with water. He has is terrified of his face getting wet so washing his face is difficult. Washing his hair is next to impossible.

Here are some creative ideas that have helped us:

Calling it "playing in the bubbles" instead of a bath

secretly washing them in the kiddie pool during the summer (love this one!)

Offerning a shower or "wipe down" and other options

letting them play with the hose outside

"swimming" with daddy in the big pool


When DS is *very* resistant, I'm willing to let it go a day or two if he isn't filthy. However, if he is truly filthy, then I coax him in, make it fast, and get him out. Being vaguely clean is not negotiable, just like being in a car seat while in the car is non-negotiable.

I have to agree with MPJJ on a many of the points she states. Also, how do YOU feel when you are dirty for long periods of time? Gross! I don't want my children growing up feeling comfortable with being dirty. Also, at this age, they are not capable of cleaning themselves thoroughly after toileting so this too is a health and hygiene issue.

Last, but not least, consistently dirty children become cause for concern to others and I do not want anyone calling CPS on me for neglect because my kids are dirty and don't want to bathe.

I feel this is an issue where some common sense needs to prevail. It can be handled gently and with respect, but at some point it has to happen, and on a regular basis.
post #42 of 62
Quote:
Oily hair is more likely to become infected with lice.
not true. Lice prefer clean hair.
post #43 of 62
my dd is 5 now and she has never taken very 'regular' baths. partly my fault (mostly probably) for not having a bath time routine...its kind of whenever...if she isn't stinky i don't push it but if she is (usually just vaginal/butt stank) then i'll get her in there. if she is very resistent still, i'll just wipe her w/ some baby wipes. she really enjoys it if i get in the bath w/ her but in our new place our tub isn't as big as our other place's tub.

funny, i was just thinking that i need to get a routine for this cuz its so 'whenever'. she also hates me brushing her hair, even if its only w/ the what we call 'gentle brush' made of boars bristles. i also haven't been pushing her to brush her teeth and she now insists she is not going to the dentist ever again. ugh. so i don't make her. but i'm beginning to think this is not a good idea as she thinks she runs the show in everything...she will argue til the cows come home. i think maybe i've been tooooo lenient?
post #44 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrysalis View Post
it but if she is (usually just vaginal/butt stank) then i'll get her in there.
:

That was the funniest thing I heard all day!

Seriously though...if your DD really doesn't even brush anymore, get ready for some very painful, and *expensive* trips to the pediatric dentist. I read an incredibly fantastic post on MDC once about the whole brushing teeth thing and it just rocked. This mama thought is was just soo important and really got her kids into it. I loved it. Made me more consistent about dental health care in our house.
post #45 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
not true. Lice prefer clean hair.
Yeah that.

DD never stinks. She has the most perfect, softest skin ever and the prettiest curly hair with no problems in regards to our cleaning methods. I've grown up with people of poor hygiene who grew up to be the cleanest people you have ever seen. This is definitely a ymmv situation but I am not going to force DD into a traumatic situation just to get her clean when she isn't really dirty.
post #46 of 62

Most of the answers here that insist you should be like them and bathe every day, are kind of funny to me. like, my reality should be yours. Really, complete bath is not a health issue! Kids hair doesn't get greasy, and their armpits don't smell. And people can have different bed time routines. for us breastfeeding and a book has been plenty, no problems falling asleep. I've been one of those crazy people who bathe their kids when ever we feel like. For my own happiness though, since they are naked in the house a lot, we don't wipe, but WASH their bottoms after they poo, every day. (and it's true, since I've done it daily since they were born, they don't know there's a choice)

Hands, though, I had to learn the hard way. They got pinworms from school, very common I found out. Adults basicaly never get them because we wash our hands all the time, so we might get pinworms from someone but they will die out because we don't circulate them in our own bodies by scratching our booties and then eating with those fingers, sorry to be graphic, but I thought you should know.

When this happened to us, my kids finally believed me and now we wash hands before eating. Before this, i had to entice my little one to play in a sink of water with some animals to get him to wash his hands. there was times that my younger one (who has eczema, and shouldn't bathe so much anyways) hated baths, but for few years has been wanting to bathe sometimes twice a day... so anything can change. :thumb I have to do oils instead of soap so he doesn't crack in half!

some advice here is great! maybe he should start gently, with a shallow bath, no soap, and you play with him. even if he used to love it with sister, he might get scared if she splashes on him, so, start him alone... my eczema boy needs to try the water temperature many times with foot and I adjust it until he decides it's good for him...

Good luck, but mainly, don't worry, if you like the way your kid smells, all is good! Some people will think they should smell like johnsson's baby, but I like to smell real kid ;) there's nothing better (in the world of smells) than breastfeeding a little head with a hint of sand, fall wind and sweat from a hard day of lot's of fun. Johnson's baby smell would have me thinking "chemicals"

Now, when they are tween's and the real body odor comes, there's another story, my new problem, and how I ended up in this thread. Now I have to convince my kid that we don't bathe when ever we want, but like, every day, if you want to have friends :D

I can hear someone say, that THAT'S why it's good to learn the habit at birth, I would say, it's ok to learn it now.

post #47 of 62
My kids have rarely fussed about bathing, but when my oldest tried to assert independence that way, we made fun outings contingent on being clean. He was 6-7. Now the evening routine includes taking a shower and completed homework before free screen time. Theres the occasional protest, but we stick to the rule & they know.
post #48 of 62
My kids love baths, so this hasn't been an issue, but I don't worry about how often they're bathing until they get old enough to have stinky pits. Young kids in my house end up getting a bath generally twice a week, even though they like it. They like it but always want to play right up to bedtime. Then there will be a rainy day and I'll say "Bath!" and the little one will get excited and have a bath. But the older one really needs a shower every morning at this point just like her dad and I do, and so she does shower after she wakes up each day.
post #49 of 62

Personal hygiene is not optional here.  My kids all hate getting their hair washed but it gets done twice weekly.  No stanky kids here. 

post #50 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by mummy marja View Post
Hair is curly and honestly, I don't think it looks bad. When it does get washed, it is just a little fluffier and a bit lighter in colour.

I just wanted to say my hair is curly and I wash it once a month with baking soda and vinegar. And that's it. I never get more compliments than when it hasn't been washed 3 or 4 weeks. It doesn't get greasy or smell bad. I do jump in the shower with a cap on, of course, but I'm also an adult and probably smellier ;)

 

I think it's great you don't force him. Especially with a sensory issue! So nice for him to have a mama so in-tune with him and his needs. My kids are pretty okay with baths, but not hair washing. It happens, but I also just let them play outside in the hose or play and splash in the bath without the pressure of hair washing. I sometimes spot clean (especially ears) with a wash cloth and they don't mind that.

post #51 of 62

I believe in pick your battles. To me, hygiene is paramount and this is  a battle I would pick. I can not even imagine cuddling with someone who has not had bath in three weeks. I am sorry but it is gross.

 

The more he bathe he more he will get used to it.

 

I would make it nonnegotiable time and do not get emotional. Do not show that his behaviors upsets you. Right now he has perfect button to push and he manipulated you to get away with a bath,

 

That sad, get him involved.

 

1) You will have baths every day

 

2) You get to pick new bath toys

 

 

3) You can do fun things in the bath.

 

4) You can pick your own shampoo

 

 

My kids loved "paining" on the walls with the shaving cream foam (0.99  at Walgreens and lasted for a few baths). I would spray the foam on the wall and they would make designes on it with their fingers.

post #52 of 62

Forget all this bathing your child every single day. If your kid loves baths, wants it as part of the daily routine, you have the time... then fine. But otherwise, kids do not need a bath every day. My kids have eczema, dry skin, and a bath every day would dry out their skin even more. And I'd rather spend time on doing things with them, making a nice dinner.... everyone has different interests and priorities. My kids are clean, they get a bath or shower twice a week. But if they have a bit of dirt on them for a day or two I am fine with that. When they were younger they enjoyed playing in the bath a lot. DD and I sometimes bathe in a tea bath. And we sometimes do an olive-oil day, where we deep condition our hair in the morning by combing tons of olive oil through our hair, and then rinsing it out in the bath or shower in the evening.

post #53 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

I believe in pick your battles. To me, hygiene is paramount and this is  a battle I would pick. I can not even imagine cuddling with someone who has not had bath in three weeks. I am sorry but it is gross.

The more he bathe he more he will get used to it.

I would make it nonnegotiable time and do not get emotional. Do not show that his behaviors upsets you. Right now he has perfect button to push and he manipulated you to get away with a bath,

That sad, get him involved.

1) You will have baths every day

2) You get to pick new bath toys


3) You can do fun things in the bath.

4) You can pick your own shampoo


My kids loved "paining" on the walls with the shaving cream foam (0.99  at Walgreens and lasted for a few baths). I would spray the foam on the wall and they would make designes on it with their fingers.

As I posted earlier, my son is nine and has NEVER gotten used to it. Once or twice a week, he'll quickly sit in the tub and get his hair washed. At this point, there is NO point in more than that.
post #54 of 62

i don't force cleanliness at all in our house, my two boys aged four and seven love to be dirty, and I have absolutely no problems with it.   Both boys love being barefoot everywhere so their feet are filthy. I think we, as mums often worry too much about unnecessary bullshit like cleanliness when our children simply want to enjoy themselves.

post #55 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by solemum View Post
 

i don't force cleanliness at all in our house, my two boys aged four and seven love to be dirty, and I have absolutely no problems with it.   Both boys love being barefoot everywhere so their feet are filthy. I think we, as mums often worry too much about unnecessary bullshit like cleanliness when our children simply want to enjoy themselves.

 

No.  Just no.  Why is hygiene optional to so many of you????

post #56 of 62

When my kids were small, we had a mud pit int he backyard right by the chicken coop. My kids got dirty and muddy to their heart content. Then they would take a shower or bath and have dinner with us.

 

All is good in moderation but filth is filth.

post #57 of 62

Proper hygiene is what helps keep us healthy. As I'm sure we all know, the simple act of hand washing keeps germs at bay and is vital to stopping the spread of said germs. It is non-negotiable in our home. My kids are 3 and 5. They play inside/outside, get dirty, etc. When they get dirty and are done with getting dirty... they get clean. Dirty, barefeet are fine... outside. I don't allow the dirt to come in the house... to the best of my ability. I work hard to keep our home relatively clean and the dirt belongs outside. We live in a very tiny apartment (less than 600 sq ft, there are 4 of us) and things can get dirty quickly around here. Baths are a few times a week, but hand washing, face washing, feet washing, teeth brushing occur daily. My kids don't go to bed dirty.

post #58 of 62
It sounds like your son has sensory issues with the water. Picking up a screaming, upset kid and putting them in the bath or shower would not be an option for me unless it was an immediate priority (they were rolling in dog doo doo). My son bathes about 5 times per week due to pollen allergies (gets transferred from head, to pillow, to eyes and nose if he goes to bed without a shower). If this isn't an issue for you, I would at least suggest implementing a strong handwashing routine before eating and after bathroom to keep germs and pollutants away from the face and mouth.
That said, eventually this will have to be dealt with- kids (even young ones) start to stink, and they sit all over the furniture and beds so the house doesn't smell great either. Also, obviously, as they get older, there will be feedback from family, friends, etc., that may hurt their feelings. My mom wasn't big on a bath routine- she grew up poor and rural, where kids didn't bathe regularly.. I was mortified when kids at school said that I "smelled" because I didn't realize I was starting to get body odor around age 9. It hurts my feelings to this day.
post #59 of 62

I had one child who went through stages of hating to bathe. I just took her into the shower with me. Sometimes that went well, sometimes not, but at least while in there for a few minutes she got water on her and a quick scrubdown. I remember once we were camping. She was filthy and I had a shower tent. She really needed a bath-- not only covered in dirt but had peed on her legs trying to squat in the dirt. I took her in with me and she was throwing such a screaming fit the camp park ranger came to make sure everything was okay!

 

I don't think kids need baths every day, but washing the privates at least every other day-- even if it's just a water soak and towel wipedown-- is important. Especially if your son is not circed-- and very very important for little girls to be somewhat clean to prevent UTI's. 

 

In warmer weather I would sneak in a bath by filling the wading pool in the back yard and she would play, and I would pour soapy water on her from a bucket next to the wading pool. I also did the public swimming pool-- and while it is not the cleanest place to soak in, it's better than nothing.

 

I understand you not wanting to force him. I really do get it. But some things are just not options in my house. I remember it used to take 2 of us to brush dd's teeth. But we got through her childhood with no cavities. The "trauma" of forcing the teeth brushing by her parents in her own home saved her the real trauma of being put through a tooth filling at the dentist.

post #60 of 62

Our DS went through hating baths period and I got a cheap plastic stool and put that in the bathtub.  He sat on the stool while I quickly washed and rinsed him.  It worked like a charm and he eventually moved back to regular baths.

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