"I can do whatever I want!"

[NaomiLorelie]

This is 5.5 yo DDs newest saying. For the first time I am not sure how to deal with something she says. I have been dealing with it with humor and pointing out that nobody gets to do whatever they want, mommy and daddy certainly don't. I don't want her in any way to feel stifled and prefer that she makes most decisions for herself, but the truth is she really can't do whatever she wants. Has anyone found a really good way to explain this to their kids?

[MtBikeLover]

My response is always "You are right - you can do whatever you want. I may not like it and there might be consequences (natural) to whatever you do." And then we talk about whatever it is they are trying to do that I don't feel is acceptable.

Unless it is something that they are not physically capable of doing, a child CAN do whatever they want. But there may be consequences. For example, my kids can get out of the car and try to not hold my hand, but the consequence will be that we get a cart or we go back in the car until they are ready to hold my hand.

[zeldamomma]

Originally Posted by NaomiLorelie

This is 5.5 yo DDs newest saying. For the first time I am not sure how to deal with something she says. I have been dealing with it with humor and pointing out that nobody gets to do whatever they want, mommy and daddy certainly don't. I don't want her in any way to feel stifled and prefer that she makes most decisions for herself, but the truth is she really can't do whatever she wants. Has anyone found a really good way to explain this to their kids?

What's the context?

Unless its in response to being told she isn't allowed to do something, I'd let it go without comment.

ZM

[NaomiLorelie]

Originally Posted by zeldamomma

What's the context?

Unless its in response to being told she isn't allowed to do something, I'd let it go without comment.

ZM

Sometimes it is because she is doing something she isn't allowed to do, sometimes it's when she is doing something she can do. The times that I am at a loss is more when she wants something that she just can't do and I can't make it happen (ex. seeing gramma and grampa who live in PA). I think she is just saying it to declare her independence.

I love the idea of saying yes, you can do whatever you want but their will be consequences. I am not upset by the "attitude". I have attitude in spades and expect nothing less from my DDs. I am more concerned with explaining that no she (we, everyone) can't do whatever she wants for many reasons, KWIM? Part of this comes from my own very repressive and strict upbringing. Let's just say that the creative spirit was not fostered in my family. I feel a loss from that and I want my children to see all of the possibilities even if not every single thing is possible at all times.