Originally Posted by almadianna
Except there is a great deal of informations available, if there wasnt... how would we all be here?
we dont need pat on the backs... but we also dont need to be spoonfed things. If we wanted to be spoonfed information we could have gone to an OB.
I think you may be incorrect in your assumptions. I am betting that many people here problably did go to an OB and likely did have a bad experience at one time. Secondly, going to an OB is not necessarily the issue -- women can have good natural birth experiences with an OB involved. I know that I have had that experience with one of my labors.
I know what your experiences are -- but may I gently suggest stepping outside of your experience before you judge someone else? People cannot be held to the same benchmark as one person, objectivity is the key in this circumstance. I think it is wonderful that you did all that research -- I commend you, but not everyone will do that or think to do that and that doesn't mean they deserve to languish in a medical model.
Finally, you obviously had an inkling that something was out there that needed to be looked into. Many people do not. Good for you. Not everyone is in that position nor has access to those resources. But expecting a midwife to discuss birth management techniques is not being spoonfeed IMO. Instead, it is part of the package of providing care of birth IMO.
My experience is not everyone's and I do not expect anyone else to do what I have done. I witnesssed a homebirth during my childhood -- my mother having my younger sibling. I saw my mom breastfeed. To me birth was natural. Breastfeeding was natural. You just do it. What was there to research? I wanted to do it. Why couldn't I? I hired a midwife b/c that is what seemed natural. We never discussed pain management at all. I took the hospital offered courses on breatfeeding and childbirth. I thought I was covering all my bases and doing everything I could. I only learned about posterior positioning while in labor. I only learned during labor that it is really just hard to walk into childbirth and expect to do it naturally. Under your scenario, I am screwed b/c I expected to be spoonfed -- when in reality I am a type A personality. An overachiever and always have been. I was in lawschool at the time, got straight As the semester I delivered, won an oral argument competition 1 day before I went into labor -- but well, I wasn't spoonfed pain management techniques so I didn't learn them.
In my work I come across alot of women. I work in a very large law firm. I cannot tell you how many women want to breastfeed and want to have a natural birth. However there is simply no understanding that there is anything else out there that they need to learn to do it rather than just doing it.
This is just my opinion. In past generations and in other cultures, women teach women how to labor and how to breastfeed. Women see other women breastfeed and labor. Right now in the US there is a disconnect, that doesn't exist in our culture anymore because the medical and corproate model dominate. And if we continue to believe that this is okay as a norm, and blame women for succumbing to it -- it doesn't challenge the system, it only perpetuates it.