Do you let kids open presents early that arrive early?

[mamazee]

I don't wrap Christmas presents and put them under the tree until Christmas Eve because I don't think it's fair to my daughter to have to look at these presents she can't have yet.

But of course we get presents sent to us early. Generally, if we order something, we have it sent to my husband's work to wait to go under the tree until Christmas Eve. But we do sometimes get presents sent from others that arrive at the house.

If it arrives when my daughter isn't here, I put it with the other presents to wait until Christmas Eve. If it arrives when she is here, I first try to say it's for her daddy and I put it in the garage. But a couple of times it's been sitting on the front porch when we get home, and she runs up to it and sees that it is addressed to her. In those cases, I just let her open it.

Another mom I know was appalled that I let her open these things before Christmas, but I don't think it's worth a power struggle. I don't see that it's such a big deal.

I'm curious how other moms handle this not terribly serious, but timely, issue.

[CarrieMF]

Everything goes under the tree until Christmas. They get to open 1 present Christmas Eve.

The only time they open presents early is if we're having DH's family Christmas together & everyone opens their presents to each other that night. We also go to 1 friend's house who buys them stuff, usually that is on Christmas Eve if we're staying here & we count that as their CE present. When we go away they still get a CE present as we do that a few days early.

We've never had any problems with presents sitting under the tree. Of course they'd like to open them, but we've taught them to be patient & wait until the appropriate day when we open them.

[SunRise]

Presents that come in the mail go under the tree ... presents that I have wrapped go under the tree. My son admires the "pretty" wrapping paper - he is not happy about the one that came in an "ugly" bag [from amazon] and he wants me to wrap it properly! There are a couple of presents under the tree for him and he knows they are to open on Christmas. (I have other presents for him hiding in a closet until Christmas eve.)

but I do have a dilemma about the people who live upstairs ... they told me they bought him some presents and wanted to make sure they get them to us before we go leave for the holidays. SO I am not sure if he is suppose to open them when they give them to him (so they can watch) or if he is to save them for Christmas day?

(edited to add: when I was a kid, we used to sneak into the basement where my mom did her wrapping ... we would shake all the presents and even carefully unwrap a corner in hopes of getting a peak inside... we were older though; so I will have to keep this in mind!)

[Qtopia]

Originally Posted by mamazee

I don't wrap Christmas presents and put them under the tree until Christmas Eve because I don't think it's fair to my daughter to have to look at these presents she can't have yet.

But of course we get presents sent to us early. Generally, if we order something, we have it sent to my husband's work to wait to go under the tree until Christmas Eve. But we do sometimes get presents sent from others that arrive at the house.

If it arrives when my daughter isn't here, I put it with the other presents to wait until Christmas Eve. If it arrives when she is here, I first try to say it's for her daddy and I put it in the garage. But a couple of times it's been sitting on the front porch when we get home, and she runs up to it and sees that it is addressed to her. In those cases, I just let her open it.

Another mom I know was appalled that I let her open these things before Christmas, but I don't think it's worth a power struggle. I don't see that it's such a big deal.

I'm curious how other moms handle this not terribly serious, but timely, issue.

We do what you do.

I agree with you that it's not worth the power struggle. I'm also not interested in teaching DS patience by putting such a huge temptation right in front of him.... but he *is* learning to be patient because he knows he's not getting the majority of his presents until Christmas Day.

Plus, I like the super-surprise element of him not having a single idea of even what SIZE his presents are.

[mamabohl]

I'm with you OP, it sucks to have to stare at those presents and wait and wait and wait. We juist let the kids open one from their grandparents yesterday just to tide them over, the rest of the grandparents presents went under the tree to wait until Christmas. (if there had only been a couple presents we probably would have let them open them all...but MIL went crazy and bought about 10 gifts for each kid. There's no room under the tree for the presents from us now!!)

[Meksmama]

Yeah we do the same as pp (sunrise & Qtopia). They go under the tree until Christmas if they come in the mail or are for others. If I get dd's wrapped before then they go under also. If not I wrap Christmas eve and bring them out then. Some regardless will stay hidden until Christmas Eve.

[g&a]

We open early stuff early - stuff from friends usually. We find Christmas so overwhelming that if it's opened then it's just another present, if opened early they really enjoy it. Plus, I think it's nice to open it in front of the person who gave it to you. Then they get to see the reaction on your face as you open it. And you can tell them how much you appreciate it right away. This is what we do for birthdays, too.

That said, anything from us, or people we are spending formal Christmas time with waits until then to be opened.

g.

[tankgirl73]

I always thought having to wait to open all those pretty present sitting under the tree tantalizing you was part of the great fun of Christmas!! To be honest, I'm surprised you're depriving your dd of that. I don't think it's "not fair", I think it's part of the excitement.

Come Christmas Day, all those presents you've been entranced by for weeks, you FINALLY get to open! Wheeeee!!!

You could get "educational" about it and say how it's promoting delayed gratification and stuff like that. And given today's "instant fix" society, that's probably a very good thing. But it's also very fun.

SunRise -- if you're not sure, I'd just ask them. It's a fair question -- "Do you want to see him open them, or do you want them to go under our tree?" I ask that all the time when my students (I'm a piano teacher) bring me a present at our last lesson of the season. Most want to see me open it, but a few just want to give it to me and let me add it to the tree.

[Strong Mama]

All of the presents that are NOT from us, go under the tree. The ones from Santa(us) go under after they are asleep on xmas eve. We do not want them to know what size the pressies are either! lol my kids are great and patient and dont bug me about opening them ever.im pretty lucky i guess.

[Momma Aimee]

nope

not unless that is what they are for -- Aunt P sends outfits each year they get to open early so they can wear (ok they are young)

all the boxes that arrive at our house -- and there are a lot -- 90% of all shppping is intent as we are rural .... go in to the laundy room (a NO KID ZONE). and that is it.

Nothing under the tree untill Christmas morning.

I agree it s not fair for them to see gifts they can't open untill they are old enough for that to be part of the fun .... but if they see UPS drop off a brown shipping box, to me that isn't the same ...

As they boys age a lot of the gifts will have to be shipped to daddies office and unladed to the laundry room after the kids are in bed

A

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by tankgirl73

I always thought having to wait to open all those pretty present sitting under the tree tantalizing you was part of the great fun of Christmas!! To be honest, I'm surprised you're depriving your dd of that. I don't think it's "not fair", I think it's part of the excitement.

Come Christmas Day, all those presents you've been entranced by for weeks, you FINALLY get to open! Wheeeee!!!

You could get "educational" about it and say how it's promoting delayed gratification and stuff like that. And given today's "instant fix" society, that's probably a very good thing. But it's also very fun.

SunRise -- if you're not sure, I'd just ask them. It's a fair question -- "Do you want to see him open them, or do you want them to go under our tree?" I ask that all the time when my students (I'm a piano teacher) bring me a present at our last lesson of the season. Most want to see me open it, but a few just want to give it to me and let me add it to the tree.

It might just be a personality thing. We tried last year to just have them sit under the tree and it ended up in tears. My husband and I thought, "Christmas is supposed to be joyful" and gave up on it. If it ends up being stressful and upsetting, it isn't right.

But yes, there are people who love that anticipation thing, and for them I'm sure it would be different.

[tankgirl73]

Interesting. I'd never, ever have thought of it as a problem, but I guess for some kids it could be. If I were in that situation, I'd probably try again in a couple years as they get more mature. But it's true that if it's not joyful, it's not appropriate.

I should add that I don't put EVERYTHING under the tree right away. Stuff that "comes" for us, from other family, etc, goes right under the tree. The only stuff that 'magically' appears on Christmas morning is the stuff from us, or from "santa". That's how it was when I was growing up -- a few tantalizing parcels under the tree for a few weeks, then KABOOM the tree explodes with gifts on Christmas morning.

[tpott4]

We wrap everything and put it out on Christmas Eve night after kids go to bed. We do let the kids open one on Christmas eve which is pajamas so they can wake up with new ones. Any gifts sent in the mail get hidden and opened on Christmas Day.

[StephandOwen]

If gifts come early in the mail (this year there was only 1- from his great grandparents) he gets to open it when it comes. No sense in torturing the kid (and us) making him look at it every day, under the tree. For people that send him stuff from out of town I try to get pictures and/or video of him opening/using the item and email that to them

[Momma Aimee]

when i was little, as i expect to at least try --

wrapped gifts showed up slowly under the tree -- in zzzzzz adult paper and you knwo what they were always FROM us to like grandma and aunts and so on ... the gifts our family was giving ... but none TO us ....

as i got older we'd all sit and wrap gifts to grandparents, freinds and so on and pop them under the tree ....

and as we went to family or freinds christmas events we'd go under the tree, pull out the correct gifts nad pack them up ...

Christmas monring, (or Christmas eve depending on the year) POOF all sorts of other gifts appeard in fun paper and they were for ME (and my mom and dad of course).

Mom and dad didn't put out their gifts to each orther, or mine, till the night before.

after a while i started keeping my gifts to them in my room till then too.

We have no gifts under our tree now with a 2 yo and it looks so empty course i can't keep the tree skirt there, i am NOT trying for a gift, to him or not.

i think part of it is age -- i would not dream of asking my 2 yo to look at gifts he can't have NOW -- but my newphews are 6 adn 8 and they have gifts under their tree and they are so excited, they sit and guess what is in them and count them and so on ... t is cute .....

Aimee

[blsilva]

We have always said that anything that came early was fair game.

I kinda think its more fun that way- prolongs the fun of the holiday. And it takes some of the pressure off of Christmas day. For our kids, opening 50 presents on Christmas day is too overwhelming, and they end up missing most of it. But if we can get a few opened early, its not so much of a problem.

We also always open one gift on Christmas eve, too...

[~Nikki~]

If gifts arrive from friends or family, I let them open them as they show up. Honestly, Christmas morning is so overwhelming, and throughout the day they typically receive so many gifts. I'd rather them open the early gifts and be able to appreciate them, and remember who purchased them, and call to thank them, rather than have the gifts get lost or forgotten in the rest of the excitement on December 25th.

As for gifts that we've ordered, those obviously get wrapped or packaged up in some way, and find their way under the tree on Christmas Eve after the kiddos go to bed. DH won't let me put the gifts out early because he thinks it's mean to "taunt" the kids that way. We always had gifts under the tree by mid-month, when I was a child, so I don't see why it's such a big issue. But eh, it's what he wants, and it's not worth bickering over.

[tinuviel_k]

Wow! I had no idea so many people opened their presents early!

We never, ever open our presents before Christmas. When Denali was younger I'd put them up in the closet so they would be in her line of sight. This year she is four years old and specifically asked that we put them under the tree "where they belong."

It isn't torturing her to see all those gifts: on the contrary, she is getting really excited for Christmas time. We talk about advent and how we are "getting ready" for Christmas, but it isn't Christmas yet. I don't see it as a power struggle at all: I am helping to teach her patience, and guiding her in learning self control and to wait. I think that is a really positive lesson to teach children.

She knows as well that we won't open all the gifts at once.
When I was growing up we got to open two gifts each every day, starting with Christmas Day, until they ran out. My father always hated that flurry of unwrapping, casting aside, and grabbing for another presents at my cousin's house, and the post-gift meltdown that always occurred. So he taught us to open a few at a time, savor them, enjoy every day what we opened. I loved that as a kid, and Denali enjoys it now.

[Alyantavid]

Everything goes under the tree until Christmas. They get to open 1 present Christmas Eve.

Same here. I don't put the gifts we've bought out until close to Christmas. Its agonizing to look at a bunch of presents when you can't open them!

[limabean]

If I felt as you do, OP, that it's not fair to let the kids see presents that they can't open yet, then I would do the same as you -- I agree it's not worth the power struggle or the disappointment on your DD's part.

That said, we wrap presents as we buy them and put them under the tree. For us, they're part of our holiday decorations, and I think they look pretty. I always loved seeing all the gifts under the tree for a few weeks prior to Christmas when I was little, and so far DS hasn't expressed any sort of problem with seeing his wrapped gifts early.

I also wrap birthday presents a few days before DS's birthday and put them out on the table, like my mom always did. Again, I loved that when I was little, and DS hasn't had any problems with it so far.