Originally Posted by beka1977
Maybe she feels fine imposing on her daughters but not on her guests (you)!
I like this explanation much better than passive aggressive, in this case. Every year I ask my mom for all kinds of help, because she is my mom! Dp's mom asks what she can bring, I always say something exactly like that. We have it covered, don't worry, if you want you can bring the relish tray. It isn't that I don't think she can cook, it's just that I don't want to sign her up for heavy duty.
If it offends her, she has yet to say anything to me about it. Hint, hint...if I were you, I'd either bring a fabulous salad and something else that you know won't be redundant (by this time you know what they serve, right?) and if you want to cook more, bring an extra dessert too. Cook your heiny off anyway, and see what happens...OR, I would be direct. "Hey, I'm missing out on the fun holiday cooking. I love to do this stuff, and it's bumming me out! Let me bring more food, please!"