family against homeschooling

[RImommygrammy]

I just moved to Southern Maine and am so lost to homeschooling ways here. I know what we believe and have done this for years my son homeschooled since 3rd grade and is now in college and doing great. My family lives here (Mom,sister) they are badgering me about this homeschooling. I get the usual how can you homeschool without a degree, etc. They are soooooo against it its upsetting me they wont let up. My daughter (unliike my son) is in 4th grade and has learning issues the one on one is so wonderful for her. They believe she has "issues" because the public school could do so much more for her. She is hyper at times and has alot of anxiety which has been diagnosed she was like this as a baby she is a spirited and wonderful child. No shes not a genius she cant read as well as others but works with numbers above her age limit. She thrives in science and math and history. I read and do NOT thrive in math we are just different. I need some support I want to be nice and calm but firm too. Is anyone else from this area (Windham, Maine) where I can find a homeschool group. They (family) say I should be working full time and she should be in school (like we are not normal but we arent and thats ok!!!!!) They do not respect stay at home Moms at all thats another hard thing I work hard from home and love it and dont mind working part time at all I love homeschooling we all do. Any support or suggestions?? Or just a hello?
Doreen

[Lillian J]

Well, I can tell you this much - this is one of the more ridiculous of the stories I've heard about this sort of thing. Your son who homeschooled is in college and doing great, and they're asking you how you can homeschool without a degree? I really think you need to tweak your response a bit:

I think "I want to be nice and calm but firm too" is going to have to change to "I want to be calm but firm too." I'm all for being nice, but they're clearly overstepping boundaries, and being "nice" is not going to work. :

Here's a post (in another thread) that has links to good places online to find lists of support groups: Support groups

And here's a post that has links to some great threads here in MDC that have to do with how to deal with skeptical relatives. Much of it has to do with husbands who are reluctant to homeschool, but it overlaps talk about other family members too.

Hang in there. You're doing the right thing. - Lillian

[chaoticzenmom]

I don't think they're sceptical, I think they're jealous. They can't believe that you have the nerve to do something that goes so against what is "normal" They sound like they want to put you in your place. Why bring up your lack of a degree and pressure you to live within their ideals. The less you engage in this conversation, the more they'll back off. You know what you're doing, it worked before and it's working now. You already know your daughters strengths and your helping her to work on those and letting her learn her weak points at her own pace without embarrasement, humiliation and comparison.

People actually had the nerve to ask me "how will he know if he's not good in math?" when we decided to homeschool. People don't understand what they don't want to understand.

Good luck and I hope you find some great groups to hang out with!
Lisa

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by lisa49

I don't think they're sceptical, I think they're jealous. They can't believe that you have the nerve to do something that goes so against what is "normal" They sound like they want to put you in your place. Why bring up your lack of a degree and pressure you to live within their ideals. The less you engage in this conversation, the more they'll back off. You know what you're doing, it worked before and it's working now.

I had all the same thoughts. Lillian

[RImommygrammy]

Lillian thank you so much I am a kind person gets me in trouble sometimes!!! They are not and they know it but I do need to be firm and show them this is our family and thats that. I dont agree with their parenting or lifestyle but thats my opinoin I dont tell them its wrong its just wrong for our family. Thanks for the links!!!!!!
Doreen

[Itlbokay]

Originally Posted by lisa49

I don't think they're sceptical, I think they're jealous. They can't believe that you have the nerve to do something that goes so against what is "normal"

I agree too. Fitting words for this, by John Holt, "People who feel themselves in chains, with no hope of ever getting them off, want to put chains on everyone else." - from the Introduction to his book Teach Your Own. I love that quote.

When things aren't going as "perfect" as others in the family would like them to, regarding homeschooling or the homeschooled child, we, the parents, often find ourselves having to deal with unsolicited advice, unwelcome criticism, and sometimes both. It's unfortunate.

I hope things start to get better for you once you've adjusted to your area.

Good Luck!

[LukesMum]

I dont have much to offer other than keep doing what you are doing. I have to admit , my family stays way out of my business. Of course I live on the other side of the world ...but my mom once told me ( and we aren't very close) that she doesnt approve of everything I do, but she wants a relationship with me so she lets me make my own choices. I guess any dispaoorval from my family wouldnt matter to me so its hard for me to relate. Still, hugs and stay on the path, sister!

[hippiemum21580]

(Hi mom!)
I second the recomendation for Holt's book "Teach Your Own". I feel many people who put their two cents in as far as your choices in life do so out of ignorance, even when they mean well. The big problem is when they are offered cold hard facts to SUPPORT your choices and choose to themselves remain ignorant. You cannot be responsible for the educating of everyone else, only yourself and your children as a homeschooling mom. Find peace in knowing you have homeschooled one child straight through into college where he is excelling. Just like when I look at my exclusivly breastfeeding baby and feel pride and satisfaction in knowing it is MY body alone that nourishes him, so you can look at your child's growth mentally and know it is solely through your guiding and teaching that she is learning.
BTW, check out the Find Your Tribe page here, there's a link for each state or you can begin your own thread if you cannot find one already begun for your area....