would you ask your 5.5 y o DC's permission?

[moodymaximus]

let's say you have a pile of t-shirts she's outgrown a year ago, that you kept in a box. you decide to finally do something about them--they are too old and stained to donate or sell--and you decide to make rags out of them.

would you ask your DC permission? would you ask permission if you knew that she'd grab every one of them, tell you that they are the best clothes ever and she can use them, and you'd end up with them unused all over the house again...

OR would you quietely toss them out (at that point it was over a year that she's seen them) and forget that you want to be frugal and need more rags for family cloth?

OR you'd cut them up, quietely hoping that she won't think it was a big deal? especially since you've been reading a book (i forget the title) about joseph's blanket being turned into a vest, the vest into a yarmolke, the yarmolke into a handkerchief, the handkerchief into a button...

and now imagine you did cut it up, your DC noticed, and is screaming that she wants the exactly the same t-shirts made for her NOW, despite 10 "new", prettier hand-me downs that she has been enjoying for the last 4 months? what do you do?

and what if she is threatening to cut up your clothes as well?

[Ruthla]

I'd see if I could swap outgrown t-shirts with a friend, so I could get new rags and the t-shirts she "loves" wouldn't be wasted, but she wouldnt' see the connection between the two or threaten to ruin good clothes with scissors.

Or, if you DO make rags out of the t-shirts, for your own household use, discard the parts that would make them distinguishable as her old t-shirts.

[4evermom]

I can see that scenario happening. I like Ruthla's idea of trading clothes, next time. At this point, I'd probably find some of my old t-shirts and ask her to help me cut them up for our new rug, and hope that appeases her sense of justice.

[Catherine12]

When I was about that age (maybe younger?) my mom gave away our collection of outgrown baby shoes, which I guess I had occasionally liked to play with (they were cute and little). I was upset about it for years. So from that perspective, yes, I'd ask permission.

OTOH, I'm a parent now and can totally see how the scenario would play out... this is a tough one. I guess the best case scenario is that, if you ask permission and pose it as a fun thing ("Look what we can make with these useless old shirts!") your dd might assent to it and even learn a useful lesson about reusing and repurposing old things. But we don't always get the best-case scenario...

[moodymaximus]

what if no one to trade old clothes with?

what she sees you cutting your own t-shirts, and asks what's up, and you say, ah, i don't need these any more--they are old and stained--so i'm going to make something useful of them, our rags. and she says, ah, okay, and takes off?

btw, she's calm now, it took a while, she is pretty intense but i can still see this happening every time she sees these.

i wonder whether i should have just tossed them out, and got a flanel sheet in a thrift store to cut up. but on the other hand, isn't she learning about re-using etc? and i was so proud of myself for finally going through my stash and doing something useful...

[4evermom]

I know someone who over dyed all her cloth before quilting. That way, all her hodge podge scraps would have the same hue. You could do that which might make the fabric less recognizable. My ds has really gotten better in the past year about getting rid of old things. Hopefully your dd will do the same.

[mamaw/two]

If it were me, I would have a discussion with dd. Not really asking permission, but explaining that they are to small, stained, etc. I would then offer to let her help cut them up. My dd LOVES to use the scissors!

[philomom]

I generally give the option of keeping a couple in a "memory box" if they can't let go. But most will go. I just don't have unending storage.