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post #21 of 34
Thread Starter 
Many things can help the fighting, but it also depends on *why* they are fighting. I know that is abstract but is it because one wants to be in control? Because they are possesive of toys? Because they want the same thing at the same time? Because one tried to incite the other?

Rescue remedy will always be helpful, but you need to understand if there's a common pattern.
post #22 of 34
Thread Starter 
As for you, mama...can you talk about why you chose your remedies? Some are very similar and have minor distinctions between them. I need to know your picture to be able to help. I can guess, but then I'd be giving you what *I* think you need. How do you generally feel?
post #23 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
Yes, they would help but I would also strongly encourage some other modalities as well. We'll start here.

You can use several at once-5 is normal but most say that up to 7 is perfectly fine. I like to go with 5 at a time and then shift things when a new picture arises. I know it's an expensive endeavor, but if you see a drastic change then it was worth every penny.

It is a little more in depth than one might think. There are several questions to ask (for me) that you might well know the answers to. Let's start with your first kiddo though-maybe someone else will even come in to help rep!

So think aspen, cherry plum, mimulus and impatiens sound great.
I also think you may want to compare rock water and larch.

Rock water is the extreme perfectionism flower. It is slightly different than larch. In rock water the person tends to deny themselves experiences because they don't think they'll do things "exactly right." They have strict rigid views and are VERY hard on themselves. There also tends to be alot os stress in the body-which could easily manifest as ADHD.

In larch it's an inferiority thing....almost a despair and wistfulness. They are not as hard on themselves, they just believe they will never be good enough. There is an extreme lack of self confidence. They tend to make up illnesses as reasons to not try. It will be up to you to figure out which is more him as I don't know him and can't "see" him. Rock water and larch are similar, but rock water has a bit more anger and self loathing going on than the sadness and impotence of larch.

Why chestnut bud? Because he doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes? IS he sick often? Does he tend to suppress things?

The flowers will probably work quite well, but i would urge to to also look at some gut healing measures. You have two on the spectrum which suggests that they don't metabolize and absorb nutrients very well. Check out www.enzymestuff.com and look at the ADHD section. IF you haven't before it will be quite a help to you.

I had two on the spectrum (one with ADHD) as well. IT is a frustrating thing to deal with but there is *SO* much you can do.
Thank you, rock water sounds much better for him, there is alot of anger involved. I chose chestnut bud because he seems to always repeat the same unwanted behaviour, such as stealing, or peeing in my dishes, I thought perhaps it would help him "grab a brain" as my mother woud put it, about these things. I'll go check out that website. He has come so far, from being the little boy of 5 everyone said would fail in life, I want to do everything I can to help him.
post #24 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
Chicory and vine are definites I would say!

I'm not seeing a ton of vervain, could you explain? Is it the lack of sleep? Does she tend to try and rope people into things with enthusiasm or is it more bossy-like vine? You may be right...could you just talk a bit more about why you chose it?

Impatiens sounds good too.

Is she heather at all? Heather is similar to chicory, though more self centered. Heather is describe as the needy child, self centered but not self pitying (like chicory) A heather person always needs an audience. They get angry if the attention drifts elsewhere. Heather also tends to sap energy of others with incessant talking.

Again, I'm just going on what you offered, so I don't know.
oh that Heather sounds just like her. Now that I think aboutit, vine is likely better than vervain. She doesn't use enthusiam to manipulate, but it'snot bossy either though she is that, it's subtle snake like manipulation. She is so so bright but Ineed to find something that will help her chanell that appropriately.
post #25 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
For your four year old I would suggest walnut off the bat (holding on to things, not letting them go) and *maybe* crab apple. I would need to know alot more about his personality to say any more.

He would also benefit from the site that I linked to.

If the constipation gets bad you could try two things: an epsom salt soak or upping his magnesium intake. NaturalCalm is my favorite supplement in terms of taste and bioavailability, but that depends on whether or not he'd take it. Epsom salts are an easy way to get magnesium into the body. Just put a cup in his bathwater and let him play for 20 minutes or so.

Are you doing probiotics for him? His bowel function needs to normalize so he can get rid of the debris. If it remains inside for too long it becomes a breeding ground for many...undesirables.

really though, the site will be of great help for all your kiddos.
thank you, no we hadn't been doing probiotics but I will look into that. That activia yogurt would be good eh. His personality, lets see, very bright, mainly mellow though his sister likes to get him going. He is pretty low key mostly, prefers to play with a doll house, or lay on the couch than to participate in active play. He has hit the feircesome 4's and tha attitude and abcktalk are in high gear right now, but otherwise he is a pretty easy going guy. He can be very shy, though he eventually warms up to new comers, he will not sleep in his own bed, he needs me close.
post #26 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
Many things can help the fighting, but it also depends on *why* they are fighting. I know that is abstract but is it because one wants to be in control? Because they are possesive of toys? Because they want the same thing at the same time? Because one tried to incite the other?

Rescue remedy will always be helpful, but you need to understand if there's a common pattern.
Alot of the fighting is due to dd instigating things with her brothers, she knows which buttons to push to get them really worked up. SHe and my older ds battle for control often, including over me. 99% of the fights here either between me and them or between each other is due to one of those 2 reasons, the problem is it ends up being a huge set of battles all day, it rarely stops.
post #27 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by swellmomma View Post
And if you have a suggestion on what to use to help with the non stop bickering/yelling/fist fighting that happens here please tell me.
Corn flower essence. But it isn't a Bach Flower essence.
post #28 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
As for you, mama...can you talk about why you chose your remedies? Some are very similar and have minor distinctions between them. I need to know your picture to be able to help. I can guess, but then I'd be giving you what *I* think you need. How do you generally feel?

thanks for helping with all of these. For me, well I am so burned out dealing with all of them it's not even funny. I keep on going because as a single mom that's what you do, but would prefer to stay in bed and hide. I do have PPD though minor right now and being monitored by myself and dr. My depression comes out as anger and aggitation not sadness. I also have suspected ADHD some sensory issues(hearing) that make me impatient and irratible. I have a very hard time making friends, often I get thoughts that they are too stupid to deal with, even if logically I know it's not true at the same time it I cause alot of rifts between myself and others because I act on that feeling, either by saying something, or acting aloof etc In general I would love to be a hermit in the woods but still have friends to talk to/turn too when I wanted kwim I often feel regret/guilt at the end of the night for how I reacted during that day, yet the next day I do the exact same things. Weight issues are of concern, I hate how I look, wish I was back to my skinny prebaby ways, but can't seem to change the pattern of behaviour I am to make that change kwim Man I sound like a self centered jerk which I am not, As much as it sounds like I think only about me, I actually spend very little time focusing on me, Instead my days are filled with focus on the children and their behaviours, their education etc, as well as worry about others. Think that's my neurosis in a nut shell lol One thing I have noticed is that I almost do better when under extreme pressure, for example ds runs away, while most moms are panicing because theydon't know where their child is, I am actually quiet calm while dealing with it, it's the aftermath where I am feeling out of control, every emotion is on high alert in the aftermath, the what if's race through my mind enough thatI can't sleep etc.
post #29 of 34
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by swellmomma View Post

FOr me I am looking at Beech, Chestnut Bud, Crab apple, Elm, Impatiens, Oak, Water Violet.
Okay, mama. WHY are you not looking at willow and holly? I see the beech (and I can absolutely relate...I have three with special needs.) Willow has resentment, spite, bitterness, anger and plenty of negativity. This is one I take OFTEN. Maybe it's me projecting....but look at it.

Holly (which may also be great for your dd actually if she's looking to hurt others) has anger, distrust, intolerance of others, feels supersensitive but thinks the other is at fault, belittles others in heart (you mentioned feeling this way) Heart feels hardened (better to be alone.) For kids there is often lashing out physically.

Beech, crab apple, willow, elm, holly and chestnut bud I would say are good ones for you. I can also see oak...but I wonder about that. I'd need to hear more about your exhaustion and how you feel to distinguish between oak and olive. I also wonder about mustard and pine for you...

Look at those and see what you think. For a quick synopsis:
Mustard: depression, feels excluded from life, introverted, caught up in gloom, no inner serenity.

Pine: undervalues self, introverted, looks at limits rather than potential, guilt, feels responsible for other's issues, little joy in life.
post #30 of 34
I just ran your issues through with DH and while he never likes to make suggestions without being asked directly. He did say the following. The first thing you need to do is change the entire energy in your house. For this he would recommend having an Omni device in your home, if you want more info on this let me know. Omni is a very powerful inert gas device that covers an area of 50 square meters. When you enter its space it releases all negative patterns. For example, the Omni will resolve emotional difficulties from night terrors or nightmares, emotional imbalances, long-entrenched, difficult patterns.

We generally have one at home and I really notice the difference, if by some chance, we have to go without it for a while (ie DH has run low and needs ours for a customer), life flows so much more easily when it is in our home.

For the fighting, he felt that Snap Dragon would be a more appropriate remedy. As for your children, DH said that he would be reluctant to give them anything at this time. He sees the priority on you healing yourself first, and then wait a month before you start treating the children.

FYI, my DH has been manufacturing and using essences and other vibrational healing modalities for over 30 years.
post #31 of 34
Thread Starter 
This is not about flowers, but it is so intertwined in your postings that I cannot NOT say something.

Everything you are describing about yourself and ALL your child comes back to gut function....all of it. When the gut is damaged there is a whole cascade of problems that only get worse with time. EVERYTHING you mentioned falls on this spectrum. ADHD, anger, depression, constipation etc.

All your neurotransmitters are formulated in the gut. If you don't make them you can't use them. For instance, all the feel good neurotransmitters that are needed for brain function are made in your gut. This includes seratonin, dopamine, nor epinephrin and epinephrin. IF you are deficient most people would prescribe antidepressants to combat the deficiency. In fact if you take meds for it it gives your body the message that it no longer needs to spontaneously produce them at all. So your body that was fighting to produce some, now stops trying at all. This is why you need to wean off meds if you go off them. Your body has to start attempting to produce the neurotransmitters again....often it still can't. Healing the gut is the only option for true health. If you heal the gut it will start producing all of them again without medication.

ADHD is similar, but not the same. That website will give a great explanation. It is SO common to see this run in families. If your gut was damaged it is likely passed on to your kids as their health depends on the nutritional stores and proper bacteria that you are able to pass on.

It's totally reversible. Once you know the path you will see rapid strides. It's about getting the right nutrients into your kids and increasing the possibility of their absorbing and utilizing them. Many things can be preventing this: yeast, food allergies, heavy metals etc. but everything can be corrected. It's a long road, but at the end is health as opposed to partial functioning and dependence on meds.

I believe that it's my job to make my kids as comfortable as possible in the world. For me (and there is NO judgement here) giving meds was like a band-aid that just masked the problem and made things more comfortable for me in dealing with them. I wanted to find a way to make them more comfortable and restore the health that was their birthright. I was lucky enough to have fabulous practitioners that cautioned me against medicating though our situation called for it. Without their help I don't know that I would have had the strength to pursue this path myself.

We are still healing, but there is NO comparison between my kids now and my kids a couple of years ago. We have made such great progress.

I know how lucky I was and always feel compelled to at least let people know there are options if they weren't exposed to them.

You can ignore this if you want to, but if you have never heard any of this before I didn't want to sit here with my mouth shut and let you continue to suffer. Sorry if I overstepped my bounds.
post #32 of 34
firefaery you did not over step at all, thank you for all your words of wisdom, I certainly had not heard about options like essenses etc. The dr's just push so many meds, I kept firing the kids shrinks for wanting to jsut dope them up and never giving other options. Right now my oldest is the only one medicated, he is on a very low dose compared to the severity of his symptoms but I just wanted enough to help him without making him a robot kwim.

Looking at mustard vs pine I think pine is a better description for me.

uccomama I will look into that device, you are right that the whole energy of the home has to change. I find it strange we can do so well elsewhere, but within seconds of coming home we are at war again, it is a very strange feeling, like a light switch going off kwim. Also the corn essense you mentioned before, can that be found at any health food store like the bach flowers? ANd what about this omni device, where is the best place to look for one of those?
post #33 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by swellmomma View Post
uccomama I will look into that device, you are right that the whole energy of the home has to change. I find it strange we can do so well elsewhere, but within seconds of coming home we are at war again, it is a very strange feeling, like a light switch going off kwim. Also the corn essense you mentioned before, can that be found at any health food store like the bach flowers? ANd what about this omni device, where is the best place to look for one of those?
I will pm you about this.
post #34 of 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by firefaery View Post
Everything you are describing about yourself and ALL your child comes back to gut function....all of it. When the gut is damaged there is a whole cascade of problems that only get worse with time. EVERYTHING you mentioned falls on this spectrum. ADHD, anger, depression, constipation etc.

All your neurotransmitters are formulated in the gut. If you don't make them you can't use them. For instance, all the feel good neurotransmitters that are needed for brain function are made in your gut. This includes seratonin, dopamine, nor epinephrin and epinephrin. IF you are deficient most people would prescribe antidepressants to combat the deficiency. In fact if you take meds for it it gives your body the message that it no longer needs to spontaneously produce them at all. So your body that was fighting to produce some, now stops trying at all. This is why you need to wean off meds if you go off them. Your body has to start attempting to produce the neurotransmitters again....often it still can't. Healing the gut is the only option for true health. If you heal the gut it will start producing all of them again without medication.

ADHD is similar, but not the same. That website will give a great explanation. It is SO common to see this run in families. If your gut was damaged it is likely passed on to your kids as their health depends on the nutritional stores and proper bacteria that you are able to pass on.

It's totally reversible. Once you know the path you will see rapid strides. It's about getting the right nutrients into your kids and increasing the possibility of their absorbing and utilizing them. Many things can be preventing this: yeast, food allergies, heavy metals etc. but everything can be corrected. It's a long road, but at the end is health as opposed to partial functioning and dependence on meds.
This is so very, very true.
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