Can child lead weaning happen at 12 months? - Page 4

[Kessed]

Originally Posted by nyxx

nursing is more than only nutrition, and weaning is not changing one kind of food to another. what about the social, psychological, emotional aspects?

and there's a difference between replacing the breastmilk with solids and continued nursing with added solids. kwim? do i offer food because i don't want to nurse or because the baby is interested?

Starting at 4 months. We had to put DD to sleep before we ate - or she would cry and cry as she watched us eat. She could sit on her own and was creeping. If she was on the floor she would creep towards us and then sit and cry and watch us eat. We held off until 6 months.

But here's the interesting part. She was SOOOO interested in food. But she would only take 1 or 2 bites. She doesn't have the attention span to eat. She doesn't like/want to sit still and eat. Just like she doesn't want to stay still long enough to nurse.

But still - I ALWAYS nursed/offered to nurse her before offering any solids. I would try really hard to but dinner on, then sit and relax with her and try to get her to nurse while dinner cooked - so that we had the best chance that she's already nursed before she saw our food and demanded some.

I guess I feel I've done everything in my power to create a positive nursing environment which would be conducive to EBF. I'm certainly more available than many many women I know whose children successfully nursed until they were 2 or 3. She is without me (and with her DH instead) for a total of 10 hours a week. That means she's with me for a grand total of 158 hours where should could nurse. In that time she is choosing to nurse 2 times each night.

I am still not sure why you think that this doesn't count as CLW.

[nyxx]

Originally Posted by Kessed

I firmly believe that raising a child involves a relationship in which there is give and take by both parties.

so is it really useful to have this black-and-white-definition of "mother led" versus "child led"?

[Kessed]

Originally Posted by nyxx

so is it really useful to have this black-and-white-definition of "mother led" versus "child led"?

You're the one who's saying that unless the mother is available 24/7/365/X that it's mother led weaning. That's pretty black and white IMO.

[nyxx]

Originally Posted by Kessed

You're the one who's saying that unless the mother is available 24/7/365/X that it's mother led weaning.

i give up. i don't know how to explain any further that this is not what i said.

[Kessed]

Originally Posted by nyxx

i give up. i don't know how to explain any further that this is not what i said.

You can do that by stating the opposite in an affirmative way:

It is possible for it to still be child led weaning even if the mother goes back to work.

[ambersrose]

OK, thanks for the opinions ladies. I had no idea that this would be such a heated issue. I dont think MY situation was child lead weaning. I may have never told DD1 she couldn't nurse, not offering it to her didn't give her the opportunity to continue if she wanted. I will make sure that I dont stop offering my DD2 the opportunity to nurse and I will wait until she tells me no herself.

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by ambersrose

OK, thanks for the opinions ladies. I had no idea that this would be such a heated issue. I dont think MY situation was child lead weaning. I may have never told DD1 she couldn't nurse, not offering it to her didn't give her the opportunity to continue if she wanted. I will make sure that I dont stop offering my DD2 the opportunity to nurse and I will wait until she tells me no herself.

((Hugging you))

[UUMom]

Originally Posted by Kessed

You're the one who's saying that unless the mother is available 24/7/365/X that it's mother led weaning. That's pretty black and white IMO.

I was a working mother, but I would agree. Unless the child can choose sippy cup or breast, it's not 100% child-led weaning.

*But* before you bite my head off, I don't think that all children who are weaned this way suffer. I don't think every child who doesn't CLW (chemo, death, work, PP depression, certain meds etc) )is going to be much worse for the wear. Some things just are, and it is usually ok.

[Attached Mama]

Ok wow! This has gotten pretty heated since I've been away for a few days and I really don't want to jump in and take sides...

I just wanted to add to Kessed, I've read a lot lately that shows that we need a lot more of certain nutrients than what the set RDA's are. So if your dd was on the low side of normal for certain nutrients, that could mean she was really deficient in some of them acc to some of the research I've been reading. In that case, it would make perfect sense for her to want to eat more solids or wean to a different food. But then without a long attention span, she doens't have the focus to eat much you said. That all makes sense to me. If you are interested I'd suggest reading some of the stuff on the Weston A Price foundation. I'd also be curious to know if she ever goes for "strange" things like butter....

Someone also asked if CLW was even possible if giving solids is a "weaning technique". Well, frankly, I don't totally believe in CLW. I think it's always a fine line between the parent and the child's needs. Some of what I see as CLW is more parent led - with the parent keeping the child nursing before giving solids even when they are much older. I think I did that til around 15 months. I would often nurse dd first because then I knew she'd eat fewer solids and I knew the breast was best for her. So is that really CLW? Would she have nursed for so long had I not done that? IMHO, CLW vs parent led weaning is really ambiguous. You do what you think is best for your child and you choose to take confidence in that. That is going to look different in a lot of different families/situations. For me, I was determined to nurse at least 2 years - and I did that. It's so easy tho to look at someone whose child is nursing longer and think that I failed. At some point we all have to take rest in knowing that we are doing our personal best by our children. Ok, that's my contribution to all the controversy here.