9 month development check

[Claire and Boys]

Ok they don't really do well baby visits over here, but yesterday a health visitor came to my house and did a check up on Seamus' development, first time this has happened since he was a newborn. His weight is great, 22lbs 4oz, then she handed me a questionnaire to fill out, with all the stuff he should be doing at this age (ie babbling, sitting up, crawling etc) I was able to say yes to all of them except one, which was "Settles self to sleep and sleeps through the night" On the other page was a list of things that I might want to talk to the health visitor about, ie Sleep, Discipline (wth?) and Formula/other milks/Solids. Well I wanted to talk to her about some issues we have with bf so I circled that. She said "Does he still have formula?" I said no, he is breastfed. DS is very distractable during the day and it's a struggle getting him to nurse even in a quiet darkened room. She said what you need to do is NIGHT WEAN him. A baby over 6 months does not need to nurse in the night. I said I disagree in this case, she said if he isn't nursing at night he will be more receptive to nursing in the day. Night time is the only time I can get him to nurse well, so there is no way I am doing that, and honestly the wakings don't bother me as long as he nurses and goes back to sleep easily.
I guess she does not see many people who are still BFing at 9 months, the BF rates are very very low here and the BF advice is appalling outside of the maternity unit where I felt it was very good.

[Momtwice]

My dd nursed a LOT at night at that age.

[menomena]

Yeah, 9m is young to stop night nursing, IMO. Especially if baby is easily distracted during the day. He (and you) know that he can stock up at night. Many, many babies go through a highly distracted nursing stage around 9m. I think my DD1 nursed 3x a day at that age - and only in the nursing chair in her dark & quiet bedroom (and then 3-4x a night ).

If you are looking for suggestions... : You might just want to offering non-stop during the day for a couple of days. Always try nursing before solids or supplemental liquids (water/juice/etc). I know this is a busy time of year, so that can add to it the stress and distractions. The more he eats during the day, the less he'll probably want to nurse at night. However, IMO, taking away the night nursing doesn't necessarily guaranty increased eating during day. (But will probably mean increased upsettedness at night).

Personally, like you, I was thankful that I knew my kiddo would eat at night. I didn't stress about "making" her eat during the day.

[PatioGardener]

Ack! I'm so glad you let her know that you disagreed about the night weaning! Perhaps she will have learned something from you.

[Smalls181]

What does it matter if he nurses all day or all night? As long as he getting the nutrients he needs, growing, and meeting his developmental milestones... what do they care?

[RolliePollie]

My almost 2 year old still nurses at night! Crazy health worker.

[Da WIC Lady]

Claire, you you stay at home? I can understand how it might be an issue for a mother working outside the home, but if you're staying home with the baby, I can understand your frustration. Is there anyone you can file a complaint with regarding this health visitor's atrocious behavior and terrible advise? I'm not too sure what UK organizations there are supporting breastfeeding, but perhaps if you could collect some resources or citations and send them to her supervisor? Or even contact your representative in parliament to see about getting reforms in the training these people receive.

As to the issue of getting your son to eat better during the day, The other posters have covered things well. Breast before solids and supplementary liquids. You're already going in a darkened quiet room. And perhaps letting him go a bit before letting him nurse. I'm finding with my new baby that she will constantly pop on and off if I put her to the breast at the first sign of hunger. If I wait a little she nurses quite well. It seems to be the difference between wanting a snack that you could take or leave and wanting to sit down to a meal. Ok, so it's usually only the difference of a few minutes with her, but it makes a huge difference.

Anna

[velcromom]

That is simply an inappropriate question to include on a questionairre. Aside from the bf issue, studies indicate that children normally need nighttime parenting for falling asleep and getting back to sleep after wakings until between the age of two and three. Sure, there are exceptions (sleep trained children, for one) but according to the research of James McKenna, it is biologically inappropriate to make babies to sleep long and deeply before they do it on their own. Perhaps there is an opportunity to send some information to the department where the nurse works?

She's simply ignorant in saying a baby doesn't need to nurse in the night. I know that my boys both woke hungry in the night well into their second year. If a child is hungry you feed them. Period. Good for you for disregarding such misinformation.

Personally, like you, I was thankful that I knew my kiddo would eat at night. I didn't stress about "making" her eat during the day.

I'm feeling a bit like this lately too. Dd, four months, sometimes just lightly snacks during the day with only a few really long good nursing sessions. I don't see it as an issue cuz I think it's a natural reaction to teething pain/distractibility. She does nurse long and well at night while we both sleep, so no big deal. It's kind of nice that when she does want to stay and nurse for a long time, it's often while I can sleep at the same time! Silver lining, lol.

[Claire and Boys]

I wish I was able to be a SAHM but money is tight so I must work. Only 3 hours a day, but sometimes it' shard to get him to nurse before I leave, so I pump and my sitter gives it to him in a sippy. Then he has a bottle of ebm over lunch.
Interestingly though ds has been teething horribly for months and this week both bottom teeth popped through! Last night he slept pretty well (only 1 night waking) and has been nursing well all day today. SO hopefully that was all it was.

I'm not at all bothered about night wakings, and I enjoy the peaceful nursing times! Our health visitors are all about children fitting into nice little pigeon holes and neither of my kids have fitted them in this department. My 3yo now sleeps pretty well.

I agree she was inappropriate. As was the "Discipline" section on the form as well!

It's nice to see other mamas have struggled with the same issues though! DS is basically not a huge eater in any respect. he has solids but not much, and only nurses when he's really hungry. He just wants to play!

I have no intentions of night weaning. I know I need to have a drink in the night, and expecting him to go 12 hours with nothing to drink is silly.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

I lurk on another forum based in England. They have a wonderful "things health visitors have said" thread on there that gets added to at regular intervals. I'm sure that HVs aren't actually much different than any other medical professionals, but the context makes it interesting reading.

I never, ever tell my pediatrician that DD is still night-nursing and co-sleeping. She says "how does she sleep?" and I say "Great!" with a big wide smile and that's that. LOL. I think it is great. She goes to sleep at 8, she typically sleeps around 11 hours with a couple of nursing sessions in the wee sma's. No crazy early mornings for me (in fact we usually sleep in and have to rush the daycare drop-off) and I love the snuggles.

I'm always amazed how it's so obvious that older children and adults are all different, and yet babies are supposed to be all exactly the same in terms of needs...

Great news on the teeth! Hopefully he'll get some relief - teething is horrible.

[MilkTrance]

I totally agree with everything you said. Recently, it seems that my 6 month old's eyes have been opened. To, well, everything. Everything is interesting and new, and he hardly nurses at all during the day. So, it happens at night.

[homewithtwinsmama]

Never never never discuss nursing, night time and sleeping with healthcare workers. When you find out their bias, just agree that that is what you will do and then do what you want. You just open up a whole can of worms you don't want to deal with!