How did you make the leap???

[milkmommie]

I am considering taking dd (8yrs) and ds (4 yrs and in preK) out of our public school and start homeschooling. DD has an IEP. She has this delay when it comes to her brain communicating with her body. This doesn't really affect her physically but it does affect her speed in completing work. So, she's got less vocab words, only has to complete half of the math busy work/homework, and she's given more time on tests. But these little things keep happening that break my heart for her and make me want to school her myself. She comes home crying because she can't win a prize at the timed math game that they play in class. She is sometimes kept in for recess to catch up on work and is told that if she gets it done with extra time, she can go play. She comes home and cries to me that she tried SO HARD and still couldn't get done in time to have playtime. It breaks my heart. I have discussed with the teacher the damage that this is doing and asked her not to use recess for makeup work. But it still keeps happening. In the teacher's defense, she's super sweet and loves dd to death and really wants to do whatever she can to help her. But the teacher has expressed frustration with the massive amounts of work she is expected to complete in each quarter. Even to the point that she has to take some of the fun projects that she has planned out of the calendar. Damn "no child left behind", but don't get me started. So, I decided to give myself until next fall to make my decision but I'm starting to feel like I should sh** or get off the pot.
There are a few things that are holding me up that I thought you wise women here could help me with....
I am worried about social life. I get really solid on homeschooling and then one or both kids will come home and talk about something nice they did with a friend or how much they miss so and so when they're out on vacation etc. I am really worried about not being able to provide them with the same kind of friendships. One big concern is that it seems like most of the hschsoolers around here are very religious....we're not....at all. How will I find a group of hschoolers to socialize with???
I am afraid I will get lazy and not get enough "school work" done with them on a daily basis. I also have a lo who's turning a year old in January...she's nursed on demand and naps on me...how will I do "school" with the big kids???
I am afraid I will fail and have to re-enroll them and then forever be embarrased to be seen at the school.
I have an incredible fear of somehow not getting them the education that they'll need later in life.

Any advice will be openly and thankfully accepted.

[UUMom]

How I did it? With pleasure.

And just maybe I am not the one to ask...my 8 yr old is sitting on the sofa watchig Surf's Up with her 18 yr old brother who is home on college break.

Yesterday she wrote a poem about our cat, however:

My Cat

My cat is black and brown and white.

She is like a shadow in the night

The way she moves, it is mysterious and enchanting.

Her hiss is a boom and a bash.


No sonnets here, kwim? (Well, no yet, anyway)

The 15 yr old is on her third novel of the week, lying in her bed. (She did write an outline for a research paper she is doing on The Spanish Inquisition yesterday).

They all did take the last of our chickens to be processed this morning, so at least they are dressed at 11. (Not that I am).

Thinking about pulling them out of school is harder than the first day after it's done.

[Lillian J]

I wrote our story in this article: Homeschooling - It's A Wonderful Life! - you'll find answers to your questions there. It's one of 18 chapters from a book that was conceived by an old cyberfriend of mine back in 2004 - each chapter was written by a different person* who read her post to some email groups she belonged to:

Years ago, a workshop attendee asked me if she would ever stop worrying and whether she was doing enough, getting it right, etc. My answer was, not surprisingly, that I hadn't stopped worrying yet, so I couldn't guarantee that she would. At that point I told her that one
day, when my kids were grown, I was going to write a book entitled
"See, I Told Me So!". We both laughed, but I've never forgotten.

So it just dawned on me that I'm sitting here with a publishing
company and am in the perfect position to take that idea and go one
step further with is. Would any of you be willing to take part in a
group project, contributing essays/chapters to such a book? It would
be for homeschool veterans only, those of us who have graduated at
least one child already and proven to ourselves that we really were
right when we said we could do at least as good of a job as the public
school system. It would be specifically speaking to those people who
work so hard at getting it right and still doubt themselves
(er...which might be the bulk of the homeschooling population.) The
feel I think I'd be after would be along the lines of "Things I wish I
could step back in time and tell myself - and proofs that what I'd be
saying is right on." Short answer - yes, you can do it! Get yourself a book or two now. A couple of uggestions:
Learning At Home, A Mother's Guide to Homeschooling, by Marty Layne
The Unschooling Handbook: How to Use the Whole World As Your Child's Classroom, by Mary Griffith. I'm not suggesting this one to make you into an unschooler, but just to show you how naturally and easily things can be learned even when you're not worrying about formal lessons.

*None of us who contributed chapters are getting paid, by the way - all the writers' shares go to charity.

Lillian

[binxsmom]

at some point or another, many of us have shared your concerns. at the age of 8, you really don't have to do a tremendous amount of work. and so much of learning can be done in living. games are learning. cooking is learning. reading stories (particularly historical and living books) is learning. it's so much more than just worksheets and textbooks. i think you will be amazed at how much your kids pick up during an average day.

if things dont work out and your kids go back to school, it doesn't mean you are a failure. maybe it just isn't the right choice for you at this season in your lives. i know parents who, for various reasons, homeschool some children and send the others to school. for many people, homeschool is a short-term thing. for others, it is for the duration of their child's learning years. either way is o.k. and you don't have to make that decision now. better to have tried and failed then not to have tried at all, right?

as far as homeschool groups....just look around. keep google-ing. i am involved in a homeschool co-op that is religious. if they didn't meet at a church, i don't think you would even know that it is christian-based. no one is preachy, some are pretty ap/crunchy, some are type a, some unschool, just a mixture. if you find a group, you may wanna go to a meeting and just check it out. maybe you will find one that works for you. and, while there, you can always ask about other groups in the area.

my best piece of advice would be to read books on homeschooling. the more i read, the more i am reassured that i have made the right choice for my family. a couple of books that i like.....

dumbing us down, john taylor gatto
i saw the angel in the marble, chris & ellyn davis

[Lillian J]

I forgot to add links to some resources that will help in getting started:

Here are a few relatively simple introductions to homeschooling

These are good resources that provide lists of support groups

- Lillian

[Coyote star]

My tips (for what they're worth):
1. Don't confuse socialization with socializing. Socialization is the ability to interact with our fellow humans. I assume you're not planning on locking your children up in the house every day, so each time you go to the library, the supermarket, church, Aunt Michelle's house, the gardening store, etc. etc., they're demonstrating socialization skills.
2. There's plenty of chance to socialize. Find a homeschool group. Invite their old ps friends over for dinner. Join Scouts, ballet, FFA, whatever. Go visit the elderly at a local nursing home. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or food bank.
3. As for worrying about your own discipline and not sticking to "school", try a pre-packaged curriculum for a year. I've homeschooled for the past two years (with a 2 y/o and a 6 m/o to juggle in addition!) and what I've wound up doing is using the lesson plans for about 3 months, then "weaning" myself off them. I still use all the materials I purchased, but by the 3 month mark I have a good enough idea where we need to head for the remainder of the year and don't worry so much about "doing it by the books"
As you gain experience and confidence, you might want to chuck a set curriculum altogether.
4. Juggling the 1 y/o will take a bit of management, that's all. I tend to do the "hard" subjects (i.e. reading and math) with my 5 y/o when her brothers are either napping or watching a Spanish video. I try to keep their TV time strictly limited, so I take advantage of the quiet to get those subjects done. For the other subjects, the 2 y/o can either join in or participate in some small way, and the baby is in the sling.
5. Find a homeschool network. It is so useful to find a group of like-minded people who can help you out. Google "homeschool groups, NAME OF YOUR CITY, STATE" and you should find something.
6. Go to a homeschool conference if there's one anywhere near you. The local homeschool group should be able to help you find one if there's one to be found.
7. You only have one child you really "need" to think about a set curriculum for. The four year old can do school by playing puzzles, coloring, riding bikes, making mudpies, using blocks, etc. All these "play" activities teach a million skills needed for future school.

Good luck!

[Coyote star]

Oh yeah, one more thing. I like how G.K. Chesterton put it:
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly"

And homeschool is so worth it!

[RiverSky]

The thing that helped me make the leap was reading about 25 books and going to some local homeschool group get-togethers and watching the children and talking to the moms. One day, it just clicked, I KNEW and I have never wavered and never felt that perhaps it was a mistake. I KNEW, I know and I will never go back. It's the best life you can possibly imagine and it will be the best life for your 8 year old, in particular, because there is so much time wasted in school, that being at home, she will be able to do more stuff in way less hours, even if you decide to go that "sit her at a desk with work" stuff (which isn't necessary at all).

And you know, I've recommended these little videos so many times. They are by a homeschooling mom, well, more specifically an unschooling mom, but even if you don't want to unschool at all, I think that the things she says will still be incredibly inspiring for you.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=DaynaLeighMartin

Happy homeschooling!

[greenthumb3]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

The thing that helped me make the leap was reading about 25 books and going to some local homeschool group get-togethers and watching the children and talking to the moms. One day, it just clicked, I KNEW and I have never wavered and never felt that perhaps it was a mistake. I KNEW, I know and I will never go back.

yup, us, too.

If you like to read, OP, try this one on for size.

My short review:

I read and it helped iron out some of my worries. It answers all your q's and more, about: am I the "homeschooling type?" or who can homeschool successfully (read to find out!), as well as ideas about what to teach, socialization, high school and college options, and keeping house (or not).It explains how to deal with people who don't support the decision to homeschool. It covers different types of homeschooling.

I like how it's written in a conversational style, from one mother to another. And you can easily just find what you're interested to learn more about from the Table of Contents and skip what you're not interested in. Great book to start with.

[Citymomx3]

Originally Posted by milkmommie

I am worried about social life. I get really solid on homeschooling and then one or both kids will come home and talk about something nice they did with a friend or how much they miss so and so when they're out on vacation etc. I am really worried about not being able to provide them with the same kind of friendships. One big concern is that it seems like most of the hschsoolers around here are very religious....we're not....at all. How will I find a group of hschoolers to socialize with???
I am afraid I will get lazy and not get enough "school work" done with them on a daily basis. I also have a lo who's turning a year old in January...she's nursed on demand and naps on me...how will I do "school" with the big kids???
I am afraid I will fail and have to re-enroll them and then forever be embarrased to be seen at the school.
I have an incredible fear of somehow not getting them the education that they'll need later in life.

Any advice will be openly and thankfully accepted.

I was right there, too. Dd-11 started homeschooling in the middle of 3rd grade (gifted school, very stifling and demanding) and ds for Kindergarten last year after 2 yrs of preschool. I was very nervous and questioned the decision over and over. Socialization ended up being the last thing I was worried about. Dd was (still is) part of a dance team, kept in touch with some school friends, and we joined a homeschool group. I think a hs group can be wonderful, but isn't necessary. Ours isn't specifically for one religion, but even if it were, I still feel both dd and I would make some friends and join in on fun activities. Is yours welcoming? Are you put-off by the members? I think having one or 2 true friends that you see a couple of times a week is way better IMO than being amid 30 kids every day that you have to tolerate. Friends can be made anywhere. Is your dd interested in sports? karate? gymnastics? dance? kids bowling league? Weekly classes are a great way to meet other kids.

I understand the fear about being lazy and not getting enough done. I think almost all new homeschoolers feel that way at some point. After being at this for about 3 years now, I can honestly tell you that so much more learning happens at home whether you try real hard or not. Kids get to be who they are and do what they love and spend as much time doing it as they like. Days can be spent at the museum, the park, the theater, the zoo, walking around the city, trying a new restaurant, shopping, checking out different libraries, visiting friends, reading together, re-organizing the house -anything! There's learning in all of it. If you and your kids like doing table work, you can get a lot done is about an hour. My kids like workbooks, readalouds, and fun academics. In the mornings they read, do some writing, do a bit of math practice, and then whatever they feel like next. Sometimes it's a science experiment, or sign language practice, or playing a computer game, or going out somewhere, or weeding the front garden with me.

Homeschooling shouldn't be stressful. The children will learn what they need to. Don't compare homeschooling with school. With a rich environment and a dedicated parent, there's no way to fail at this. Good luck with everything.